You wear it well….

DC and Jay McCarroll (Season One "Project Runway" winner)

DC and Jay McCarroll (Season One “Project Runway” winner)

I have touched on DC’s clothing issues a bit in earlier posts,  but I’ve never really written about the whole shebang. Last week I was reading a post by Mother O’ Jim (What not to wear: Rules for dress, according to Jim) about just this subject, I found it  funny just how different and the same some of our kid’s clothing issues can be.

I’ve touched on buttons in an earlier post – here:

Buttons: If there is a button there, it needs to be buttoned. Years ago I thought I was being sneaky by removing the top button on all of his shirts so he would not insist on buttoning everything right up to his neck. I discovered I was not as slick as I thought I was one day when DC brought me one of his shirts to have the button removed. He knows there should be a button there and knows I’m cutting it off, but for some reason this is alright with him. Leaving it on and not buttoning it, is not.

Tags and holes as well:

Tags: All tags must be removed from all clothing. If he should find the smallest rip, tear or string, he will proceed to shred that article of clothing. It may take him all day, but he will make sure it can never be worn again. Just recently I mistakenly bought him a pair of jeans that had ready-made tears in them. When I realized, I was sure this would be a disaster, but for some reason, it was fine with him. He wears them quite regularly…….. figure that one out. I can not!

“Nice soft pants”:

For quite a while in middle school and some of high school,  DC was obsessed with fleece pants from Old Navy – elastic waist of course. The problem being he wanted to wear them year-round. It took quite a while to get him into jeans or any non-elastic waist pants. We compromised by  trading in his “nice soft pants” – many of them anyway, for nice soft pajama pants. He is now probably the only ‘kid’ in the world that is absolutely thrilled to get pajamas for Christmas. Wearing them at night seems to take away the sting of having to wear “real pants” during the day. Did I say “night”? Well I really meant as soon as he gets home and knows or hopes that he does not have to go anywhere else. This could be at noon on some days.

When he did finally make that transition from nice soft elastic waist pants to jeans and regular pants he refused to unbutton or unzip them. He could somehow pull on and take off all of his pants fully zipped and buttoned. I don’t know how he managed this but he did.

Zippers, hats and gloves:

It is always a battle to get him to zip up his coat (I am not a coat “zipper or buttoner” myself). He does not like to wear hats and gloves either. He works in a greenhouse so these are a must.  He will wear his Dr. Who hat – it has had long tassels that hang on either side. DC was insistent on tying these tassels like a bonnet. I explained to him many times that they are not made to be tied. Finally one day last week, I got a note home from his program that he pulled both tassels off of his hat. Why didn’t I think of that? He is now perfectly happy to wear his hat – at work – without the tassels. He still does not want to wear gloves. I have to insist. I do suspect that they come off as soon as his transportation leaves the driveway.

Tee-Shirts:

DC loves tee-shirts – not all tee-shirts though. I am still in the dark about why he absolutely hates some and loves others. I do know that they can not have pockets. Lately he has an aversion to white tee-shirts. I cannot get an explanation for this either. Grey was just added to his list of colors he will not wear. When I asked him why, I was told emphatically “White”! Apparently grey is the new white – it’s all the same to him.

The funny thing about all of this is that DC loves to dress up. He loves wearing a white dress shirt (with buttons) and a tie. He loves wearing a suit. He seems very comfortable all dressed up.

Shorts:

When DC was young, he loved wearing shorts. Switching from shorts to long pants in the fall was quite the battle. Now-a-days he would rather not wear them at all. Again, he works in a greenhouse and in the summer it is hot. He goes to camp, it is hot. He doesn’t care. I have often thought that DC does not feel heat and cold. He sleeps with a heavy comforter in the summertime. He will not have an air conditioner or a fan in his room. Fortunately the AC in my room will cool his room a bit so he doesn’t over- heat. In the winter he pushes the sleeves up his shirts, jackets and winter coats no matter what the temperature.

The latest clothing quirk; he has begun rolling up his short sleeves – just like the guys that carried their cigarettes in their Tee-Shirt sleeve back in the day. In addition to that, he likes to roll up his pants, just enough to make them “high-waters”. It looks very stylish with the white sweat socks. <sarcasm>

A few weeks ago, DC had a Valentine’s Dance to attend. It was scheduled to begin at 5PM. I knew I would not make it home from work in time to get him into the shower, get him to change his clothes and still get him there on time, so I asked Doug if he would come over to help him get ready and drive him to the dance. Knowing DC and Doug very well, I was not going to leave it to them to choose his wardrobe for the dance.  I laid out clothes for DC in the morning before I left for work…….

Best-laid plans…………

DC came walking in the door after the dance wearing the clothes I had laid out but with his pants rolled up, white sweat socks and his black dress shoes.

runway

“You may now leave the runway….”

 

 

(Here is another ‘Clothing Related’ post from Autism Mom that has been published since……   The Purge – give it a read)

DC Speaks – Doug’s 153rd Birthday and why Mrs. H is just so jealous.

DC has his own Facebook and Instagram accounts. Instagram is private and I only accept people I absolutely know to follow him. 90% of the photos on this account are photos taken of him by me or someone other than himself. The photos and videos he has taken himself are pages from whatever book he may be reading, food, princesses from either books or the computer screen and videos of YouTube videos of Cinderella dancing (spinning mostly) or other characters spinning. There’s a lot of spinning.

I set up the account for him because he enjoys looking at photos so much. Apparently he enjoys looking at them much more than he enjoys taking them.

His facebook is set for friends only. I thought it would be a good way for his cousins and him to connect. I also thought it would be a good way for some of his father’s family that might feel uncomfortable being “friends” with me, to keep up with what he is doing. A good number of his Dad’s family are friends with me, but he has other cousins (2nd? Once Removed? – I am never clear on that) that are friends with him there.

He is not allowed to write anything unless he asks permission first and then I stand there while he writes whatever it is he wants to write. I hold my breath when I notice a spelling error hoping he does not notice. I know I should correct him and I do if he hasn’t finished the sentence or paragraph and I do always correct him if he is writing anything else. But on a status post, if he notices a typo he will backspace and delete one letter at a time until he reaches the word he wants to correct and then type the whole thing over again. This could take centuries. He is not allowed to accept friend requests until I can figure out who the requester is. He does not post his own photos. I’m sure he could, but his friends will be inundated with photos of Judy Garland, Amy Adams, princesses and Disney characters.

He does go on Facebook on his phone to look at pictures of his friends. He is allowed to do that. So far and it had been 4 years, he has followed all of these rules. I check his phone and his account daily. Lately he is starting to lose interest in typing a status. He does not like to type to begin with, I thought this would help him get used to typing. He still, every once in a while will ask to write something or I will sometimes take a photo and ask him to write what we are doing, but not as often as before. He still does go on everyday to look at pictures though and as I said, he will still post a status or two.

I was thinking about DC’s past status updates and decided to go through and pull out some of my favorites.

(Translations and/or explanations are in parentheses – a few names have been edited – other than that, nothing has been changed or corrected)

So, in no particular order, DC speaks…….

 

-We Going to Anthony.s for Thanksgiving Dinner i want Tuckey Legs

– i Hate Snow

– i hate Snow . i like going to Work with Mom

– i Hate Snow

(I think he might not like snow very much)

– The Lights is On

– we Had Fun at Halloween Party. i am Happy. Be Brave For No Storm

(worrying about losing power)

– i am so Happy is Halloween

– we going to sleepy Hollow with ‘BB’ and and mom and doug i am so exciting

– i Like the Movies Trouble with The Curves

– i going to Dad.s wedding I am looking handsome

– going to grandmother. s and have some muffins

(“grandmother’s” – from Disney and other books)

– Happt collation

(Graduation)

– luau day like lilo

(Luau day at camp – the only thing he can relate it to is Lilo and Stitch, because Everything is related)

– last day of camp was yestrday. i had a fun. i am going to grandmother.s today. a very merry unBirthday

– I went to hospital todat 

(See post about first time in Emergency Room)

– i am tired. i went to grandmas i went to winter guard show i did a good job i went to dinner with mom and doug and mom; s freind suzanne and her frien. i dance to wing it i am going to sleep now where has the time gone

– i ate alligator in new Orleans

– We having fun in Florida mrs h will be so jealos

(“Mrs. H. will be so Jealous” – there are quite a few of these. I did not include them all only because I could not find them all. Mrs. H. being jealous began 3 years ago when DC was in his last season of Challengers baseball and DC’s team was invited to Fenway Park for Challengers Day – All Kids Can. Mrs. H. had mentioned that her husband, Mr. H. was so jealous because he would have loved to go to Fenway. I don’t think DC really understood what “jealous” meant at the time, but he did know that he was doing something that Mr. H. wanted to do (I’ve since explained it to him many times in many different ways). Somewhere along the way Mr. H. being jealous evolved into Mrs. H. and it just went from there. I know as does she that he thinks jealousy is a good thing.

– I had turkey leg and turkey wing and bread. with mom and uncle smap and aunt lisa.
I like pie.
we going to lunch with uncle ted later after that.

– I want a turkey leg today

– phew.
I work at theater.
we went to the ball.
we ate dinner with uncle scamp and aunt lisa.
we went to camp Halloween party.

– We going to mountain of oz on Saturday.
We taking the airplane tomorrow have to get some rest.
I will see my family.
We going to dilly wood tomorrow if it does not rain have some fun

– I had fun time. Not New York City. Next week we going to New York City. Lots of food and book store

– Thank you thank you mrs .H happy happy Easter
I love jelly beans too

– I am happy to have my birthday
Today is my birthday,

– Mrs  H  will Be Jelous

(I don’t recall what she was so jealous about this time. That was all there was to the post)

– I love jellybeans too

– Have a Thanksgiving day. I don.t have work. i will have dinner With My Family. me and mom doug uncle scamp Aunt Lisa Erica I want turkey Leg

–  Mom fell down blood over her I did not take picture she is ok

(we were out walking our CharityMiles)

– I did good work at the theater to day I liked the dream girls show. I m not tired

– Happy Birthday to all
and to all a Good Wishes
Happy birthday DC
Tha;ts me

(It was his birthday. I think he was actually thanking people for the Birthday posts on his page)

– I am a ogre

– I am brave

(also storm related)

and my favorite…

– Happy 153 birthday doug

This ‘boy’ puts a smile on my face every single day…..

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end.”

...and yes, I do always have Spock ears readily available..

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end.” ~ Mr. Spock

From the post that I re-blogged yesterday: To Boldly Go…..

I admit it…

I am just a big old Sci-fi geek from way back. I watched the first episode of Star Trek back in 1966/1967 (?) and I was hooked – for life.

The first “sign” that DC learned when he was very young (for those of you that may not know, DC was non-verbal until he was 7 years old) was the “Live Long and Prosper” sign. If and when he saw a picture of Mr. Spock or heard him mentioned, he used that sign.

I’ve been in love with Star Trek and Mr. Spock since the very first episode aired back in the 60’s.

I loved the adventures in space.

I loved that all of the crew members were treated with respect and as equals.

I wanted a tribble.

I added new words to my vocabulary, most memorable –  “poppycock”.

I wanted to be a part of the crew, but not in a red shirt.

I loved everything about Star Trek.

I always had an affinity for the Mr. Spock character.  I loved his no-nonsense purely logical way of looking at things. I especially loved the episodes where he was confused and/or outright annoyed by human behavior – A piece of the action comes to mind.

I remember being sad when the show went off the air. But all was not lost! 10 years later “Star Trek the Motion Picture” was set to be released. I anxiously awaited opening day and although I admit I was a little bit disappointed in the film, I was thrilled to see all of my favorite characters again.

The movies that followed were so much better than the first “Motion Picture” and I saw each and every one of them more than once until the 2009 release of Star Trek the updated prequel. It was there that I stopped. Nothing against the movie or the actors. I’m sure it was and they were just wonderful. I just did not want to see new actors playing the parts of my favorite characters.

I  remember when The Next Generation was being advertised. I was outraged that anyone would try to create a new Star Trek even if the person creating it was Gene Roddenberry himself. How Dare He?!!! My boyfriend at the time, knowing how much I loved Star Trek taped it and brought it to my house for me to watch. I flatly refused. I would NEVER watch a “fake” Star Trek, Never!

Well…. never say never.

As it turned out, I loved it and every other that came after.

Not only was Mr. Spock my favorite character but I really loved Leonard Nimoy the actor. He was the only reason I was at all interested in watching Mission Impossible (the TV show).  I grew to love the show, but Leonard got me there. I will also never forget being glued to the TV watching “In Search Of…”.

I did at one time own the first, second and a few other editions of the Primortals comic books. I wish I knew what happened to them.

Then imagine my excitement when he showed up as William Bell on Fringe! Not to mention playing himself on The Big Bang Theory!

That Spock character resonates a bit more with me now than it did back then, if you can believe that possible. Having a child with autism has made me view Mr. Spock in an entirely different light. His matter-of-fact, logical, no grey area persona reminds me a bit of my son. It reminds me of the way many people perceive people with autism. However,  like many people with autism,  in spite of that matter-of-fact, no grey area, logical approach he had to life, his duties, his interaction with others, Mr. Spock showed compassion, empathy and yes, even friendship to those around him – in his own way.

Leonard Nimoy was one of my childhood heroes and I suppose you can say that I carried that adoration with me into adulthood. I was heartbroken to hear of his passing. There will never be another like him. It may be silly to you but I really feel that a piece of my childhood is gone forever – a small piece that I will never be able to get back.

Live Long and Prosper ~ wherever you may be.

“Of my friend I can only say this: of all the souls that I met on my travels, his was the most… human.”  ~ James T. Kirk

*******

And while you are still here, please check out another post from a friend of mine:

RIP Mr. Nimoy – from SSirica

“To Boldly Go……” (Revised)

A Post from August 2014 – R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy – may you #LLAP wherever you may be……..

(The weekend we attended “Shore Leave”, Leonard Nimoy was scheduled to appear via Skype on Sunday. We had already spent Friday and Saturday there and I was not sure DC could make it another day. We also had a very long drive home, so we opted out for Sunday. I am still so disappointed that I missed my only opportunity to see Mr. Nimoy, but he will – live forever in my heart)

TakingItAStepAtATime's avatarTaking it a Step at a Time

To Boldy Go.... To Bodly Go….

I confess…

I admit it…

I am just a big old Sci-fi geek from way back. I watched the first episode of Star Trek back in 1966/1967 (?) and I was hooked – for life.

The first “sign” that DC learned when he was very young (for those of you that may not know, DC was non-verbal until he was 7 years old) was the “Live Long and Prosper” sign. If and when he saw a picture of Mr. Spock or heard him mentioned, he used that sign.

Today, he is verbal but will still, at times use his signs in conjunction with his speech – that “Mr. Spock” sign has come to represent Star Trek in general for him and he still uses it.

Coincidently, DC just happened to be born on William Shatner’s birthday (not planned – I swear)

Before the days when Star Trek costumes were available to purchase - DC&#039;s second Halloween. Before the days when Star Trek costumes were available to purchase…

View original post 2,412 more words

I can see clearly now….

DC has worn glasses since he was 4 or 5 years old. Originally only for distance but he quickly took to wearing them all of the time.

I was a little bit apprehensive when it occurred to me that it was time to start taking him to have his eyes examined. He was not verbal at all and was not very cooperative with doctors. His pediatrician would strategically place wastepaper pails around the examining room when DC was due to come in for an appointment because he would work himself up to vomiting – everywhere –  every time.

Even now, though so much more agreeable, I do still have to bring reinforcements – his Dad and Doug, when he has to have a shot The 4 of us go marching into the examination room along with a nurse and the doctor. As hard as we try, we can not hold onto this boy.  The doctor really just ends up chasing him around the room in the hopes of getting a lucky shot.

I will always remember a little girl that was in DC’s Birth to 3 class. She was just a tiny little thing, with the strongest, thickest glasses I have ever seen. She, like DC was non-verbal. Even with those thick, thick glasses, the teachers had to get right up in her face so she could see them. I remember one day, walking into DC’s classroom to visit (I worked 5 minutes away and visited often) and there she was without the glasses! Her mother explained that she had changed eye doctors just recently and the new doctor had determined that she did not need glasses at all, she never did! So needless to say, I really wasn’t looking forward to having DC’s eyes examined.

Yes, he could sign the letters on the eye chart but if he was not in the mood to cooperate that day – how would we know if what he was signing was actually what he was seeing? Before we even get to that point, how could I explain to him that we wanted him to sign the letters he was being shown?

I finally thought I found a doctor that understood the situation and brought DC to his first appointment. The doctor did say that his vision was not 20/20 and he would probably need glasses eventually. It would be helpful but not 100% necessary at this time. He did suggest that I may want to do it now so he had the chance to get used to them. That is what I did.

dcglasses

It really did not take that long for him to get used to the glasses and his teacher reported that he was much more focused in the classroom. I must say, he is and has always been very good with his glasses. He has not lost or broken any pair he’s had over the years (knocking wood).

After a couple of years and after a few screw-ups, we switched to another doctor in the practice.
This worked out well for awhile, but eventually, after so many issues that you might think were a work of fiction if I wrote them down- we left that practice altogether and not very quietly.

The last few times DC needed a new prescription and while we were still going to the doctor mentioned above, I opted to just change the lenses in his frames. Some changes are not all that difficult for him , but when it comes to glasses, shoes or switching seasonal coats and jackets, he has a hard time. It was becoming apparent that these frames were not going to last very much longer, so it was time to find a new doctor and get new frames, whether he needed a new prescription or not.

We found a new eye doctor that came highly recommended by my brother and sister-in-law. It was just amazing how smoothly this appointment went. I did not even have to explain to the doctor that given the choice of two options, he will almost always choose the last one, just because it is the last thing he heard. We were in and out in less than an hour, where as if we had gone to his previous doctor, this exam would have taken two very long visits and then the follow up visits to correct what they had done incorrectly.

Our previous doctor had an optical shop on site. This new doctor did not, so off we went to a department store where plenty of other people I knew bought their glasses. We started the process of trying on different frames.  As expected, DC was anxious.  He yelled “No!” to each and every pair that he tried on. Now it is never really clear if he just does not like the frames or if he is saying “no” because  the sample frames just have regular glass in them and he can’t see. I have tried to explain this to him many times, but I am really not sure that he understands.

I do not know if he was just tired of trying on frames or if he actually liked the pair that he had on his face at that moment, but he finally said “Yes”! The girl who was helping us was so very excited – “He said ‘yes’!” . Once she said that out loud, he went back to “No”.  I had a “yes” for a minute, I wasn’t going to let it go that easily. I asked him to look in the mirror. He did. A customer that must have been listening to this whole exchange (how could one miss it?) told him that he looked very handsome in those glasses. He was sold.

We sat down to place our order. At this point DC had enough and it was time for a panicked sprint to the restroom with me running behind yelling for him to slow down, as he raced to the other end of the store. He does this when he becomes overwhelmed. It is also his way of trying to get out of doing something he doesn’t want to do. I assumed I was in for the long haul as much of my life is spent standing outside the men’s room or yelling into the men’s room. To my surprise, he calmed down relatively quickly for him, but I am certain the girl waiting to finish our order was probably thinking we had skipped out on her. We finally made it back to complete the order and were told his glasses would be ready in less than a week.

I got the call 4 days later that his glasses were ready to be picked up. I didn’t want to wait until the weekend to go as his glasses were on their last legs, so I asked Mrs. H to take him after he got home from his program.

I was home from work by the time they arrived home. DC walked in wearing his old glasses carrying the new glasses in the case. He didn’t realize that now that he had the new glasses, he was actually supposed to wear them. I don’t really know what he thought he was supposed to do with them, but wearing them was not on the list.

Old wire frames

Old wire frames

I asked to see them. I asked him to put them on and explained to him that his old glasses were ready to fall apart and he should start wearing the new ones. He put them on and I put his old glasses in the case and stored them away just in case we ever needed a temporary pair. He was fine for a little while, but later came into the kitchen looking around very determined to find something. I asked what he was looking for and he replied “Glasses”. He was looking for his old glasses. He still did not understand that he was supposed to be wearing the new ones.

I really was beginning to think that this was going to be more difficult than I originally thought. I explained again that his old glasses were going to fall apart and this is why I bought him new glasses. He has to wear the new ones. He should be able to see much better wearing the new pair too.

Just like that, he left the kitchen and never asked for the old glasses again. I was impressed. This had to be the easiest transition to anything we’ve ever experienced.

First he chose frames that were dramatically different from the old frames and then after only an hour or two, let the old pair go and never looked back.

New Black Frames

New Black Frames

 

 

 

 

February reruns… How do you do?

It’s been one of those weeks…… Enough said….. and just because I needed a laugh, I decided to post yet another rerun. The following was posted back in April 2013 – but it still makes me laugh….

“Please allow me to introduce…..”

Pleased to meet you DC loves to make introductions. I don’t believe he really understands the point of introducing people. He notices people making  introductions in the movies he watches and in the books that he reads. It doesn’t matter if the people he is introducing already know each other. It doesn’t matter if he knows they already know each other, when he gets to urge to make introductions, he does. He is usually very formal about it as well – “I would like to introduce my mother, Vickie Lastname” or “It is my pleasure to introduce to you, my mother, Vickie Lastname“ or (my favorite) “Please allow me to introduce my ‘lov-er-ly’ mother, Vickie Lastname“ Recently we attended a pasta dinner fundraiser to benefit the summer camp DC has attended since he was 5 years old. We purchased enough tickets for DC, Doug, my mother and myself and we sold a few more to friends and family members. Seated with DC and I were, – My mother (DC’s grandmother) – Doug (who was also pulling DJ duty) – DC’s grandparents on his Dad’s side – DC’s Dad – Tracy – DC’s stepmother (His Dad’s wife. I generally do not use the stepmother title to describe her because DC is so very much into Disney that there is no explaining to him that all stepmothers are not evil) Karr-ee-anna – in DC-speak -DC’s Aunt K -Her husband R – My friend Tonya – and DC’s friend, Salli Due to the crowd, Doug’s father and sister had  moved over to the next table. DC was very excited that everyone was there at the same time. He sat at the table as if he were “holding court”. He then decided that introductions were in order. Turning his attention to his father, Tracy: “Tracy, this is my mother Vickie Lastname” and “Vickie, I would like to introduce you to my father, Tracy (same) Lastname” ~ Insert Dramatic Pause ~ Me:   “Um……. “we’ve met……………………..”   Photo: Credit "Tonya"

I got the music in me….

(Not “proper” grammar, I know. Talk to Kiki Dee)

DC is the ultimate music lover. I love this about him because I too have always been a music lover! Our tastes differ greatly. If one were to look at my music file they might just think it was a file belonging to 4 different people. I love everything from The Osmond Brothers “Down by the Lazy River” (my Happy song) and the Spinners “It’s a Shame” (my other Happy song – I dare you not to dance!) to Alice in Chains and Shinedown. Of course, being the geek that I am, I also have to have the Firefly, Dr.Who and Angel TV themes readily available.

DC leans more towards Musicals, Disney and some top 40. The battles in the car over the radio are actually the reverse of most parent and child “radio battles”.

We do, have some music in common though. When DC was a baby, he was not your average lullaby baby. It took a lot of trial and error to find songs that he enjoyed before bedtime. – This was, of course back when he wanted to hear me sing. Now all I hear is “Mom, please stop singing!” (unfortunately, he doesn’t always get his wish)

I just happened to hear both of the songs below on the same day, last week. Because I rarely hear either one of them on the radio, never mind both – it sort of inspired this post.

His favorites were:

James Taylor – Sweet Baby James (I happen to be a big James fan so this was fine with me)

and

Loggins and Messina – House at Pooh Corner (another “win” for me)

I am surprised that he still remembers them, to this day.

During our recent vacation the subject of DC’s first flight came up in conversation twice, first when we were having dinner with his Dad and again while having lunch with “Pinky” and her family.

DC was almost 2 years old. We were flying down to Savannah, GA. and DC was not having any of this! It was unbearable for us and I’m sure, much worse for the other passengers. This was also back in the days when you were required to hold your children in your lap. This actually worked in my favor because I could sing into his ear with out traumatizing the rest of the passengers with my voice.

“Do your ears hang low?” and only “Do your ears hang low?” was acceptable to DC on this flight. Over and over again. I could not switch to another song.

There was also the time we were driving home from a weekend in Maine – he was probably a year and a half old. This ride should have been our first indication of how the flight would go months later.  I was required to sing “Who are the people in your neighborhood” for hours. I could not deviate from that song. I sang it so many times that I made up an extra verse on the spot. I wish I could remember it as I have to say I remember it being pretty darn good – if I do say so myself.

Music has always been a source of calm for him. It still is. It is also a source of joy. If he is not reading a book (or “playing computer” on the weekends) he is singing and dancing all over the house. Oftentimes he is reading or watching while singing and dancing.

I am so glad that he shares my love of music but more importantly that it is something that can calm him down and soothe him when he really needs it.

– Okay, admit it, you danced to the Spinners………….. I know you did. 

Full Versions (because who wouldn’t want to look at James or Kenny again)

House at Pooh Corner

Sweet Baby James

and the others:

Who are the people in your neighborhood

Do your ears hang low?

Liebster Awards and the blogs that I love!

Liebster

Last night I was notified that I had been nominated for a “Liebster Award” by Autism Mom. First and foremost I’d like to thank Autism Mom for including my blog in her list of nominations. I enjoy reading her blog everyday and I am honored that she takes the time to read and comment on mine.

I had never heard of this award before, so after a little bit of searching, I did come across the award and the rules – but many different variations of the rules. Becoming rather confused, I decided to link to Autism Mom’s explanation of this award (here) and follow the rules that she used in her piece. – Yes… I took the easy route…

It is wonderful of course to receive recognition from other bloggers – especially since until a year and a half ago, blogging was the farthest thing from my mind – and from what I have read, this process will and does help to share your blog and the blogs that you love with the rest of the blogging community.

Having received a nomination, it is now my turn to come up with a list of my own nominations.

This is the easy part.

Autism-Mom – (If it is allowed. Autism-Mom would have been on the top of my list even if she had not nominated me. I will assume she will not be required to go through this whole process again.) “Sharing Autism ideas, news, strategies and tools, and lessons learned from one mom with one child and one experience on the Autism spectrum.”

Mother O’ Jim – “Mother o’ Jim, a blog about and with her son James, a wonderful young adult on the autism spectrum, who is searching for the path and tools to be independent.”

Wendy Jane’s Soul Shake– “One white woman’s curious obsession with race. Follow my quest to connect across color lines.”

One Loco Mommy – “Balancing Life, Love and Autism in the Great Suburban Outback”

Baby Boomer Bubbie –  “Baby Boomer Woman, Creative, Mother, Bubbie, ex-wife, curious, future, past, concerns, fears, hopes”

Sassy Aspie Mom – “A little blog about my life as a wife and mom raising two boys (one who has Asperger’s Syndrome).”

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Next step is to answer the questions listed by the blogger that nominated you (each nominator should some up with a set of questions for their nominees to answer as an introduction to other bloggers and readers).

Autism Mom asked and I answered:

      1. How is blogging different than how you thought it would be when you started?

I can’t really say that I had any expectations when I started at all. I suppose the support from other bloggers was surprising.

  1. What is your favorite blog post that you have written?

Mother’s Day update

But one would have to read “Mother’s Day and the Macaroni Necklace” to understand the update.

  1. What is the most surprising thing that you have blogged about, that you never thought you would blog about?

Ha Ha! That would be toilet paper under the code name of “paper towels”.

  1. Where is the strangest place you have blogged (e.g., typed on your computer, wrote down blogging notes, etc.)?

I suppose it would have to be in the car – passenger side – I do not blog and drive.

  1. Which blogger would you most like to meet?

That’s a tough one. I really would like to meet them all.

I do know Wendy from Wendy Jane’s Soul Shake, but I haven’t seen her in (mumble, mumble) years. I really would love to meet the rest. Although, coffee/Dr.Who Experience in London with Autism Mom would have been right up there on THE top of my list if it had turned out that we would both be in London at the same time (We won’t be. It was close, but no cigar)

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The final step is to list a few questions of your own for the blogs you have nominated:

So, Autism-Mom, Wendy Jane, Mother O’ Jim, Loco, Baby Boomer and Sassy these are for you:

1. What first inspired you to blog?

2. Has your blog changed direction in any way since you began?

 3. What is your favorite post (borrowing this question just because I like it)

4. What is your favorite movie?

5. What is your favorite television show?

Thank you again, Autism Mom for the nod and of course, thank you for reading.

I am heading directly to her list to check out the blogs I haven’t read before.

Hope you all will check out the blogs I have nominated! They are all totally worth your time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bacon

bacon

DC’s reactions are not always immediate. Due to these delayed reactions, it is not always easy for me to figure out just what is going on or what the problem might be.

When he was 4 or 5 he stopped eating – completely…. for close to a month. He would not swallow solid food.  With a lot of  coaxing he would put it in his mouth, but that was as far as it went before he would spit it out. After a few visits to the doctor to be sure this was not a medical issue, I, with the help of his teacher and IA, started looking for ideas to get him to eat again. I bought all of his favorite foods. They worked with him in the classroom. I even resorted to candy. Nothing!

One day, I was making him a steak, one of his favorites at the time. It was right then and there I realized what was going on. He actually looked frightened of the steak. This wasn’t a sensory thing, it was fear. After seeing the look of utter terror on his face I remembered a choking incident with a bagel one morning about a month before. The thing about it was that he didn’t react right away – otherwise I would have figured this out much sooner. He was fine afterwards and even finished the bagel he was eating.

I couldn’t pin-point exactly when or why the delayed reaction kicked in but it did and he was afraid to eat.  Once I figured out the reason, I was able to help him get back to eating solid food again. We started with pudding and yogurt and just dipped the tip of the spoon in, just so there was a taste on the spoon. I continued this way, increasing the taste on the spoon until he was taking a regular spoonful. I added other foods like applesauce to the menu. When that part was behind us, I started breaking up bread, into almost crumbs, until he realized it was safe for him to eat again.

DC used to ride horses. He rode once a week for a good 5 years, if not longer. One day his teacher had him riding in the outdoor rink (I’m sure there is a proper name for that, but I am calling it a rink) – he didn’t ride in the outdoor rink very often. Most of his lessons were inside. When he did ride outdoors, it was usually down the driveway, across the street and up the dead-end road and back. On this particular day in the outdoor rink (seriously, Kathleen is not going to be happy that I don’t know the proper name), his horse spooked, reared up went galloping wildly. It scared him, it scared me, but he stayed on and continued his lesson with no problem.

His indoor lesson the following week went well. His ride outside on the driveway route was fine too. It had to be a few months later when they tried to take him out to the outdoor rink that the fear kicked in. He wasn’t having any of it. He acted like he was never on a horse before. After thinking about it for a minute, I remembered and explained his reaction to the assistant. He was a little better once they went back inside but not at the level he was at the beginning of the lesson. The outdoor rink brought out his fear and that fear carried over to the indoor rink. It took a while for him to feel comfortable again.

About a year later his horse spooked during his inside lesson. Again, he seemed fine – Me? – Not so much. I was close to heart failure, but I didn’t let him see that – and rode the full hour as if nothing had happened. But… the following week he was terrified. He continued to be terrified until we finally just gave it up altogether. even though I was relieved to let it go,  it was a shame because at one time he really liked it. Horses were one of the few animals he was not afraid of. He was actually pretty good at it.

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So… over our Christmas vacation, DC got sick. Other than his bouts with his allergies, he rarely gets sick, but when he does, he really goes big! For a good few days afterward, he really didn’t want to eat at all. He seemed fine otherwise so I wasn’t really sure if he was still not feeling well or if he was just afraid to eat. I believe and still do, that he was #1 – exhausted from being sick and #2 – he was afraid and relating his illness to food. As we were on vacation and eating in restaurants daily, this was probably at least partially the case. He was eating lots of things that he doesn’t normally eat, at least not on a daily basis.

When he did finally feel like eating at little bit, there were certain foods I wanted him to stay away from so as not to upset his stomach all over again. He continued to be a little bit leery about eating for a good week after we were home. Last week, after going to see the Buddy Holly Story with his friend, BB, we all went out to dinner. DC ordered a cheeseburger with bacon. When it arrived, he removed the bacon and left it on the plate. I asked why, but I couldn’t get an answer. Now, I am almost positive he had bacon at least once since we’d come home from vacation, so I didn’t really think all that much about it.

DC discovered bacon a few years ago on a cruise ship and like his garlic bread, takes every opportunity to order it. I used to buy it for him, but decided that he really did not need to eat that much bacon, so I let it become one of his “restaurant only” foods, like cheeseburger and fries.

This week, at the hotel where we were ‘Snow-cationing’, bacon was available on the breakfast buffet. I didn’t really notice it until morning #3, but there was no way that DC had not seen it on the previous two mornings. I asked him if he wanted bacon. He started signing “all done”, a sign that he still uses when he REALLY does not want something. I asked him if he was sure. “No, Bacon!” – while signing more adamantly. “I don’t want to get sick! I don’t want to get sick!”.

Bacon had been one of the things I did not let him have after he got sick on vacation. Now, in his mind it was the reason he had gotten sick. There were a couple of other people in the breakfast room and I didn’t want him to continue yelling about “getting sick”, so I explained quickly that he did not have to have the bacon, but bacon was not the reason he became ill on vacation. He was getting more and more anxious about it, so I just let it go.

I know that some may disagree, but bacon is not really a necessity in anybody’s life, so I am not going to push it.

Now if I could somehow get him off the cheeseburgers and fries…….. hmmmmm.

Snow-cation

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Our preparation for the Blizzard of 2015 consisted of packing our bags and booking a hotel room. I wasn’t taking any chances. I wasn’t really concerned about this storm until I received a robo-call from our utility company warning of power outages. You might remember that back in October 2011 we lost power for 6 days.

The following year we had a few pretty big storms. One in particular dropped a couple of feet of snow on us. We did not lose power but we were trapped for 4 days.

We live on a cul-de-sac. Usually the town comes to plow the road, but only to the edge of the cul-de-sac. Later a smaller pickup truck comes to finish the job but it is usually somewhat of a wait.  When day 1 came and went, I didn’t think all that much of it. On day 2 the town announced that all of the roads would be cleared by the following day. Day 3 – nothing – I started calling Public Works to a “full voicemail” message and finally no answer at all. We were left trapped in waist-high snow with no one to contact as the rest of the town offices were closed. Finally on Monday (day 4) I called the police, only to find out that they had our street marked “complete”.

I reasoned that if the power did go out the hotel should have a generator so at the very least we would have heat. If they did not have a generator, at least we would be able to get out of the place and not be trapped in waist-high snow for days on end.

I explained this to DC, leaving out the “power-outage” piece of the story.
As you also may already know DC usually loves nothing better than a hotel room. I thought he’d be excited.
On Monday morning we packed up what we thought we would need for the next few days and headed out to my office. DC loves to come to work with me so he was thrilled.

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He was a tiny bit anxious about the snow but nothing really over the top. Doug came to meet us at work so that I could follow him to the hotel which was just over in the next town (someday we will talk about my sense of direction or lack thereof).

We arrived at the hotel and checked in. DC was getting himself set up at the desk as he always does, when he discovered he had forgotten the cord for his laptop at my office. I won’t go into detail about the chaos that followed, just believe me, it was a tragedy. Doug went back to get it before the roads got worse and DC, while continuing to perseverate about his cord, kept himself busy with you-tube on his phone. One would have thought Cinderella entered the room when Doug came back with that cord!

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A couple of hours later he really began to get anxious, asking over and over again when he could go home. I realized that although I explained all of this to him and that this was certainly not the first time we left and stayed in a hotel due to an upcoming storm, he was still very confused. I thought about how different this ‘trip’ was from the last storm trip.

  • Our previous trip to avoid a storm (although I was sure we’d be sitting in a hotel room for 3 days) turned out to be much more of a ‘real’ vacation than just an  escape from the storm.
  • We packed, went to work and left from there – he didn’t get to go home first.
  • There was a travel ban in effect so there would be no dinner at a restaurant.
  • He was very concerned about going to his friend BB’s on Friday. It was on the calendar, you know.

I told him that I understood why he was a little bit confused. I explained that we were on a “Snow-cation”. We had come to the hotel so we didn’t get stuck in our house. I also explained that the hotel was very close to our house so he did not have to worry about going to BB’s house. We would be home before Friday (I wasn’t ready to mention a specific day for him to obsess over). I did finally have to mention the threat of losing power as another good reason to be “Snow-cationing”. He liked the word “Snow-cation” and the threat of a power-outage seemed to do it for him.  “Confused” became the word of the day. He used it anytime he needed the explanation again. It was comforting for him to have a word to use to explain his feelings and he felt better about expressing his confusion because I had told him that I understood. So, even though I had to explain our “Snow-cation” a few more times, he wasn’t as anxious about it.

He was able to use his computer, he read and edited some books, he went to the gym and went swimming in the pool. It was like a vacation (of sorts) to him. He was much better and a little less confused about everything.

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I’m not sure that he really understood how close to home we were. Even though it was only a 20 minute drive from my job. I think that the mere fact that we were in a hotel, meant distance to him.
He was concerned about his work and going to BB’s house. I did point out a few other places in this town that we visit often as a point of reference as to just how close we were to home, but I’m not quite sure he understood.

When I was relatively sure that all was clear, our street was plowed and we had electricity at home, I told him what day we would be heading home.

“My ‘Powers’ is back” – apparently all of the explanation I had given him only led him to believe that the power was out at home –
“Yes, DC, your ‘powers’ is back”

When all was said and done, we did not get as much snow as they predicted, some parts of the state did, but we ended up with a little more than a foot. Still a foot is a foot, and I would opt for the “Snow-cation” again and now that DC worked through his anxiety, I think he would too.