…and sometimes a smile is all that we need #1000speak #Compassion

Compassion comes in many forms and at times just the smallest thing – a glance or a smile can mean more than the grand gesture.

I was away and not able to participate in the May 20th #1000speak and due to some unplanned/unforeseen issues going on at the moment, I thought I wouldn’t have the opportunity to participate this time around…..

Then I saw this post from a friend of mine and it made me smile. It made me smile each and every time I read it and on a day when I really needed a smile.

It always seems to be those little things, the things that no one thinks about – that no one else might even notice that can just make your whole day brighter.

Below is a post from my friend, Cedar. Her son, Colin has autism, like DC, but he is much younger.  When we are used to and dread the same reactions from people day after day when we are out in public with our children, it is wonderful to see something different and positive once in awhile. On a day that she was experiencing all of those negative vibes from people in a waiting room, this small thing, meant the world to her.

DC is 24, so we really don’t get those “bratty kid” stares or comments from people anymore – not to say we still don’t get stares, we do, but not that kind. It is obvious now that he is an adult that he is not just a “spoiled brat” that I can’t control. Her son is younger. It is not that obvious, so she has to deal with those judging comments and stares everyday.

“You Are My Angel Today”

                                 –  Post by Cedar

Describing the photo:

My son Colin had an appointment to have blood work done. He had to fast before- hand so you can imagine how loud this waiting room was. He is barefoot because he threw his shoes at the receptionist.

BUT!!! I want to find this cute elderly man in the corner. He could have been mean and glared at us like everyone else, but he got up and got that chair for Colin because Colin wanted to sit by him.

Do you see that smile? It never left that man’s face.

So kind Sir, I want to hug you, I want to have you over for dinner, I want to hear your stories, but mostly, I want to thank you again for making me feel like a regular mom. You are my angel today. Thank you.

I did get the chance to give him a hug. I was crying, but I hugged him and thanked him. He was so sweet. It seemed like he needed the hug and he thanked me for letting him play with Colin. He said his grand kids live far away and are older now. I wish I had gotten his number. I emailed the doctor later and asked if they knew who he was and if they would give him my number. I hope they will. What a sweetie.

They are few and far between; but it is the moments like this that help me to keep believing in people. ~ Cedar

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1000speakpageFrom: #1000speak Blog:

Bloggers from all over the world are coming together to talk about compassion on the 20th of each month.  The 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion movement was born when blogger and author Yvonne Spence organized over 1000 bloggers to post about compassion in one epic event on February 20, 2015.  The response was so great that it was decided to continue the #1000Speak project on a monthly basis, with a different topic each month.

Add your voice: #1000speak Facebook Group and #1000speak Facebook Page

And don’t forget to link your post to the #1000speak linky

What to share? That is the question…..

The answer….. for me, not everything.

A few days ago I came across this post from Diary of a Mom – online privacy – part a million. Coincidentally  I had just had not one but two similar conversations just last week.

Yes, I do write about my son DC. Whether he understands it or not, I do tell him that I write stories about him. I do tell him what I am writing about. I try very hard not to write about anything that might embarrass him even if I believe he will not or does not understand it. There are so many topics I will not write about.

Good Grief ! I was so on the fence about writing a story about toilet paper that it took me two days to hit “publish” and when I did finally publish, I had to disguise it as paper towels:

In a post a few months back, I wrote that I do not buy paper towels and I do not, but just for the sake of this post, let’s just say that I do…….

(you can see, I am over that now)

I find it much easier to explain autism, HIS autism by telling specific stories about how his mind works, the things he does or says, the many things he is obsessed with, his likes, his dislikes and some of the issues we face. At times I will use humor to tell a story because at times he is funny, the situations are funny! He knows he’s funny. I tell him he is funny. I may be laughing at the situation –  I am never laughing at him.

I have some very good friends, many of whom also have children with special needs. I am thankful for them. We are all somewhat in the same boat and even though autism is not the common diagnosis, we all seem to have many of the same issues. They are the people I can share the “Holy S#!T, how is this my life?” moments with, because at times we all just need to tell someone. They share with me as well. You really don’t want to be in the room when we are all together, trust me. We are able to discuss issues that I can only assume most NT parents do not and would not discuss with their friends (DC is my only child so, that is only an assumption on my part). Those conversations remain between us. They are not written about – ever.

Recently a few people suggested that stories about certain behaviors, “growing pains” and other such topics should become a part of this blog. They will not be…

I understand that people might look at this type of information as knowledge or what they may have to look forward to – I do, but there are plenty of other resources and blogs out there that will and do share this sort of information, some cringe-worthy (to me, maybe not to anyone else) and some handling the subject quite delicately but I don’t feel the need to do that here. I am not saying they are wrong. I am certainly not judging anyone – people have different views on the subject of sharing, this is just mine. It is not for me.

We have our good days, we have our bad days and I almost always learn something from the bad days. I may sometimes write about or mention the bad but not in specific detail.  I will just about always write about what we’ve learned or have been able to figure out from both the good and the bad. I hope I have not written anything that would embarrass him, I don’t think I have. Everyone’s perspective being different; maybe to some, I have. I do hope that in my almost two years of blogging you might by now have a small snapshot about DC, HIS autism, his triumphs, the progress he still continues to make, the way his mind works and most importantly that he is a happy guy who loves his life.

I’ll leave the rest to others…….

 (This post was written a while back and as I mentioned in an earlier post, I try not to post more than once or twice a week, so it  was bumped in lieu of a few others and was in jeopardy of being bumped again. Once again, here is another post from Autism-Mom along the same lines that has been published since; PROTECTING HIM ONLINE – be sure to give it a read.

Liebster Awards and the blogs that I love!

Liebster

Last night I was notified that I had been nominated for a “Liebster Award” by Autism Mom. First and foremost I’d like to thank Autism Mom for including my blog in her list of nominations. I enjoy reading her blog everyday and I am honored that she takes the time to read and comment on mine.

I had never heard of this award before, so after a little bit of searching, I did come across the award and the rules – but many different variations of the rules. Becoming rather confused, I decided to link to Autism Mom’s explanation of this award (here) and follow the rules that she used in her piece. – Yes… I took the easy route…

It is wonderful of course to receive recognition from other bloggers – especially since until a year and a half ago, blogging was the farthest thing from my mind – and from what I have read, this process will and does help to share your blog and the blogs that you love with the rest of the blogging community.

Having received a nomination, it is now my turn to come up with a list of my own nominations.

This is the easy part.

Autism-Mom – (If it is allowed. Autism-Mom would have been on the top of my list even if she had not nominated me. I will assume she will not be required to go through this whole process again.) “Sharing Autism ideas, news, strategies and tools, and lessons learned from one mom with one child and one experience on the Autism spectrum.”

Mother O’ Jim“Mother o’ Jim, a blog about and with her son James, a wonderful young adult on the autism spectrum, who is searching for the path and tools to be independent.”

Wendy Jane’s Soul Shake“One white woman’s curious obsession with race. Follow my quest to connect across color lines.”

One Loco Mommy“Balancing Life, Love and Autism in the Great Suburban Outback”

Baby Boomer Bubbie –  “Baby Boomer Woman, Creative, Mother, Bubbie, ex-wife, curious, future, past, concerns, fears, hopes”

Sassy Aspie Mom “A little blog about my life as a wife and mom raising two boys (one who has Asperger’s Syndrome).”

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Next step is to answer the questions listed by the blogger that nominated you (each nominator should some up with a set of questions for their nominees to answer as an introduction to other bloggers and readers).

Autism Mom asked and I answered:

      1. How is blogging different than how you thought it would be when you started?

I can’t really say that I had any expectations when I started at all. I suppose the support from other bloggers was surprising.

  1. What is your favorite blog post that you have written?

Mother’s Day update

But one would have to read “Mother’s Day and the Macaroni Necklace” to understand the update.

  1. What is the most surprising thing that you have blogged about, that you never thought you would blog about?

Ha Ha! That would be toilet paper under the code name of “paper towels”.

  1. Where is the strangest place you have blogged (e.g., typed on your computer, wrote down blogging notes, etc.)?

I suppose it would have to be in the car – passenger side – I do not blog and drive.

  1. Which blogger would you most like to meet?

That’s a tough one. I really would like to meet them all.

I do know Wendy from Wendy Jane’s Soul Shake, but I haven’t seen her in (mumble, mumble) years. I really would love to meet the rest. Although, coffee/Dr.Who Experience in London with Autism Mom would have been right up there on THE top of my list if it had turned out that we would both be in London at the same time (We won’t be. It was close, but no cigar)

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The final step is to list a few questions of your own for the blogs you have nominated:

So, Autism-Mom, Wendy Jane, Mother O’ Jim, Loco, Baby Boomer and Sassy these are for you:

1. What first inspired you to blog?

2. Has your blog changed direction in any way since you began?

 3. What is your favorite post (borrowing this question just because I like it)

4. What is your favorite movie?

5. What is your favorite television show?

Thank you again, Autism Mom for the nod and of course, thank you for reading.

I am heading directly to her list to check out the blogs I haven’t read before.

Hope you all will check out the blogs I have nominated! They are all totally worth your time!