If you can’t laugh at yourself……

This post was originally scheduled to run in recognition of April Fools Day, but due to other circumstances occurring on that day (here), it did not seem appropriate to let it run.

This post is a rerun from last year. No, they are not April Fools gags or pranks (I could only wish they were) but, if I can’t laugh at myself, someone else will do it for me.

Having said that, I just remembered another that probably never made a Facebook status because it was quite a while back, but adding to the evidence of my inattentiveness  and another I will blame on my poor eyesight (Those are my stories and I am sticking to them):

I was reading an article in the town paper about all of the businesses that were either moving out of town or just closing their doors completely due the outrageous rents they were required to pay. At this point I had lived in this town a good 10 years, so when I saw a business name that I didn’t recognize at all, I asked Doug:

“Where is Ken’s Taco Hut?”

He just looked at me oddly.

“I’m reading this article about businesses closing and I have never heard of “Ken’s Taco Hut”. Where is it?”

Odd look again…. then he took the paper and proceeded to laugh for quite some time (in all honesty, I don’t believe he has completely finished laughing ) and said, “You’re kidding right?”

“No! I’ve never heard of Ken’s Taco Hut! Has it been here long?”

Yes, it had! It was a fast food place that DC and I has been to quite often that was a combination of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut, hence the nickname Ken-Taco-Hut (exactly the way it was written in the article).

and…

From my car, I always thought "Tony's" was an odd name for a Chinese restaurant . today while walking my @charitymiles , I discovered that #iJustNeedGlasses

From my car, I always thought “Tony’s” was an odd name for a Chinese restaurant . Today while walking my @charitymiles, I discovered that #IJustNeedGlasses

 

From July 2015:

Something’s coming…Could it be? Yes it could…….Old Age or just losing my mind?

 

 

confused

This is one of those posts that I put together and save to post later when we are away or when I am really busy and really don’t have the time to write (or, when I have been sick most of the week). Like the “Blog Title Series” (Series? Yes, there’s more), they are very often off topic or “fluff”. I like fluff, sometimes fluff is fun.

So when I say “the other day”, it may have really been the other day when I wrote this, but I never know how long these posts will sit before they are actually published….

To be honest, “the other day” or “last year” or “just recently” in my mind can mean just about anything these days. I often think something happened just a few years ago, only to find it happened 10 or 15 years back. I seem to have no sense of time anymore – which leads me to the point of this post….

I don’t think about my age all that often, unless of course I make some sort of mistake and then of course I blame it on my age. It is a perfectly good excuse for many things.

Then there are days like today when I start to wonder if it really is just an excuse. Granted, I have had a few things on my mind lately but still, I am beginning to wonder….

I stopped at a convenience store on my way to work this morning. I stop there quite often and almost always park in the same space. This morning my that space was taken so I parked on the other side of the building. When I came out of the store I headed towards my parking space. I looked at the car and while I was trying to open the door, I said to myself “Why does my car look so dark?” – yes I actually said that to myself! I didn’t think “Oh this is not my car” instead I thought it somehow magically changed colors!

This incident reminded me about another day a few weeks back when I pulled into the drive-thru at the bank. I pulled up to the drawer and was fishing around in my purse when a heard a voice from the speaker coming from behind me “Can I help you?”. When I looked up I realized that I had passed right by the drive-thru window and was sitting in front of the night drop drawer.

Keeping all of that in mind, I was going through my face book looking for something. Everytime I start looking for anything on-line, in the house or anywhere, I never seem to find it. I do usually come across other things that distract me from what I was originally looking for. Here are a few status updates of mine that I came across:

So I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks…6 months with the new car and I still forget to put it in park before turning it off and am I the only one who forgets to put the cup under the KEURIG?

After looking at the pictures we HAD to have taken for work, I realize I really need to have eyelid surgery (this is, of course above and beyond all of the other issues I already knew I would see). ‪

You know you’re getting old when you can throw out/ hurt your knee just getting into the car!

Okay, so I haven’t driven an automatic in the snow since 1984! To quote DC, “I’m getting very nervous about this”

I don’t really understand what this “poking” thing is, but okay……

Remember when you could just open a toy and take it out of the box? I’ll pay cash for someone to open this!!!! 💰💰

10538533_10202730931338994_9213834465729708065_n

So you know how facebook is always trying to get you to “complete your profile”? What does it say about me that the only option showing under “Which musicians do you like” is: GILBERT O’SULLIVAN????? ….and yes, I do know who he is……………………

I may or may not have just washed my spoon at work with Windex because I was too lazy to walk back downstairs to the kitchen ….

Just wondering, a week later, because that is what I do…… Is it odd that I was watching a show about Zombies, blood, guts and cannibals and the guy chewing gum (or whatever) is what grossed me out?

I just un-wrapped a cough drop, threw it in my purse and shoved the wrapper in my mouth…… It’s already been one of those days…

I just tried to open the garage door with my phone

NEVER look into the magnifying side of the mirror while wearing cheaters!

It happened! I was offered a senior discount 😦

and let’s not forget The alarm went off and Mom has lost her mind 

I don’t think I have to go on……. Fortunately all of the above happened in a span of a couple of years. I would really be worried if they happened all on top of each other.

Having just said that: Today I was in the office on a Saturday. I went down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I got the cup, tossed in the tea bag, threw in some truvia and it wasn’t until I started filling the cup with hot water from the dispenser that  I noticed the unopened packet of truvia floating in the cup.

Later at home while making tea, I tossed in the tea bag, and a packet of truvia – making sure that I opened and poured the contents into the cup and put it into the microwave. When I took it out I discovered I had forgotten the water.

Again, I HAVE had a few things on my mind lately and I am notorious for not paying attention (she says trying to defend herself)…

I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging here……  and I think might be time to give up tea….

and still more Short Stories

Below are some “short stories” (statuses) that have been posted on my own and my public Facebook pages – too short to qualify as a blog post, although many have turned out to be the inspiration for an official blog post. You may have seen a few of these before, probably not all though. Some are recent, others are old “Facebook Memories” (love that!).

This is one of those posts that I put together and save to post later when we are away or when I am really busy and really don’t have the time to write. Like the “Blog Title Series” (Series? Yes, there’s more), they are very often off topic or “fluff”. I like fluff, sometimes fluff is fun. 

DC taking a bow at Best Buddies Karaoke today. “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” – Anyone shocked at that selection? Thanks for the picture, Steve!

rainbow

…..

 

DC’s been dancing and singing since 7am “I like to be in ‘Mary – Ka’ “. He’s ready for West Side Story today!

…..

It’s a Cinderella Halloween Wedding! “Do you take this man to be your Wedding Wedding husband?”

…..

Good Morning and Happy Halloween! (Song from “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”)

…..

He came back with Bread and only Bread.

bread

…..

The DR also loves wings (Giving up the “fish fingers and custard” for the evening)

fish fingers

 

…..

It is now time for us to stand uncomfortably around the staff room for the third cake of the week.

…..

Official review is in: DC is giving #peterpanlive a “two eyes closed” and that means I can be done with this!

two eyes closed

(He did totally love it on DVD without the commercials)

…..

I have completely lost my voice. As much as I am sure that many people are happy about this – DC, on the other hand has been pretty freaked out.

He’s “very nervous about this”

I cant hear you

…..

“Mom! I am so exciting for Friday is Christmas Eve!”

(I gave up explaining that Christmas Eve is Thursday, early on – I think he really means “Christmas” anyway)

Me: Yes you are!

“Work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday! No work ‘Firsday’ and Friday, Please!”

Me: No, no work Thursday and Friday, don’t worry.

“Please!”

Me: No, no work – don’t worry.

(30 seconds later)

“Mom! I am so exciting for Friday is Christmas Eve!”

Me: Okay.

“Work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday! No work ‘Firsday’ and Friday, Please!”

Me: No, no work Thursday and Friday, don’t worry.

“Please!”

Me: no, I told you, no work.

(Repeat 700 times)

How was your day?

…..

Too many things needed to be charged tonight so I unplugged the lamp in the living room downstairs where no one is or will be until morning (one of three lamps) – This is what is keeping him awake tonight. “The Lamp- Unplugged”
…..

“Vickie, I got the most “skata-brand*” idea!” ~ Hayley Mills ~ The Trouble with Angels~ (and no, I still have not been informed of what that idea might be) …

…..

So DC had “Secret Breakfast” this morning, but he asked for it with BACON. I voted “no” on that one because “That would be ‘dis-dust-ing’ “

and even more Short Stories

or…. Short Stories; the Threequel… (or… “Fluff” because it’s been a busy month)

Below are some “short stories” (statuses) that have been posted on my own and my public Facebook pages (Instagram too) – too short to qualify for a blog post, although many have turned out to be the inspiration for an official blog post. You may have seen a few of these before, probably not all though.

San Francisco 168

Should have landed home  at 12:35 pm Thursday. 13 Hours later, we made it! “There’s no place like home”.

Publication1

Just watched DC trying to get on the bus w/out smashing 5 bouquets of flowers for his teachers – we’ll see if they make it…….not one of my better ideas.
…..
12019858_1008741255835061_745699163859259850_n

Even though we were in the blazing sun – he couldn’t get past those dark clouds – we didn’t get very far….

…..

BB and DC testing the Bertie Bot flavors on the way home from Salem.

…..

birdie

Taking DC to NY tomorrow to see “Bye Bye Birdie” (one of his favs) and the bonus…….. “Uncle Jessie” (John Stamos from another of his favorites, Full House) is in it. He is very excited! Doug, on the other hand, is attending under protest; already practicing and perfecting the eye rolling, heavy sighs…….

…..

 

horse

Just lost another 10 years of my life; DC fell off the horse. He’s okay, I may never be.

 

 

 

……

TAPS

DC had a great time “Ghost Hunting” at the “shemitury” (DC speak) with BB tonight (both in full TAPS gear)

…..

waiting

Lost power at 4am (Mr. “No Storm Today” knew the instant it went off), it just came back. Long morning driving him around until it came back on – Before resorting to driving him around I did try for a couple of hours to get him back to sleep but who can sleep  with “Waiting!” being yelled at you continuously. When I told him to please stop yelling, he moved on to spelling it. When that didn’t work  he moved on to sign language (yes, it is quieter, but of course he had to poke me each time so I could see him signing)!

….

halloween

Yes, it’s June but DC has already picked his Halloween Costume and it is on order. A little ahead of schedule this year, we usually wait until August 🙂 . We LOVE Halloween, in case that isn’t apparent to you all.

 

 

…..

“Pretty Maids All In A Row”

Pretty Maids All In A Row

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…..

Because no is allowed to sit in his chair in the kitchen (even if he is not in it) or his “spot” on the couch, I thought we’d make it official #BigBang

my spot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…..

STOP THE PRESSES! DC is at an Arc activity with his “Arc Friends” and he is eating Lasagna!

lasagna

…..

Sitting in the waiting room for DC’s scheduled DR. Appointment this morning and watching Disney Jr. Mickey Mouse Club House to be exact. We were called in before the dreaded “Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog” song came on and yet it is still stuck in my head…… Now it’s stuck in yours. You are welcome.

 

 

…..

Waitress: how do you want your burger?
DC: Good!

12079130_1023440547698465_127467070155738541_n

 

 

 

 

 

…..

Poor deprived boy, they don’t have wings. He’ll have to settle for ribs…. Sigh

wings none

 

 

 

 

 

…..

After losing his computer/DVD privileges last weekend, he is preparing his list for this Friday. “Movie Adventures” is what he is calling his upcoming Friday night (yes, I am still sick and sound like a man)

…..

Still trying to get to watch the first episode of The Walking Dead, but I have it on good authority that Rick and DC may share the same Band-aide obsession.

zombie bandaids

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

….

Robin Hood found himself a princess. He was excited….. for awhile. She dragged him around the dance floor for quite some time. DC apparently not wanting to hurt her feelings (or needing Mom to fight his battles) yelled to me “Mom! My arm is bothering you” (translation – She is holding my arm and it is bothering me) each time they passed by. I guess having a princess on one’s arm can get old, even for DC.

IMG_1702

 

 

 

 

 

And forever my favorite……..

 

“Mom, I look ‘Dora-bull’ ” -(no lack of confidence there)

IMG_1704

 

 

Something’s coming…Could it be? Yes it could…….Old Age or just losing my mind?

confused

This is one of those posts that I put together and save to post later when we are away or when I am really busy and really don’t have the time to write (or, when I have been sick most of the week). Like the “Blog Title Series” (Series? Yes, there’s more), they are very often off topic or “fluff”. I like fluff, sometimes fluff is fun.

So when I say “the other day”, it may have really been the other day when I wrote this, but I never know how long these posts will sit before they are actually published….

To be honest, “the other day” or “last year” or “just recently” in my mind can mean just about anything these days. I often think something happened just a few years ago, only to find it happened 10 or 15 years back. I seem to have no sense of time anymore – which leads me to the point of this post….

I don’t think about my age all that often, unless of course I make some sort of mistake and then of course I blame it on my age. It is a perfectly good excuse for many things.

Then there are days like today when I start to wonder if it really is just an excuse. Granted, I have had a few things on my mind lately but still, I am beginning to wonder….

I stopped at a convenience store on my way to work this morning. I stop there quite often and almost always park in the same space. This morning my that space was taken so I parked on the other side of the building. When I came out of the store I headed towards my parking space. I looked at the car and while I was trying to open the door, I said to myself “Why does my car look so dark?” – yes I actually said that to myself! I didn’t think “Oh this is not my car” instead I thought it somehow magically changed colors!

This incident reminded me about another day a few weeks back when I pulled into the drive-thru at the bank. I pulled up to the drawer and was fishing around in my purse when a heard a voice from the speaker coming from behind me “Can I help you?”. When I looked up I realized that I had passed right by the drive-thru window and was sitting in front of the night drop drawer.

Keeping all of that in mind, I was going through my face book looking for something. Everytime I start looking for anything on-line, in the house or anywhere, I never seem to find it. I do usually come across other things that distract me from what I was originally looking for. Here are a few status updates of mine that I came across:

So I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks…6 months with the new car and I still forget to put it in park before turning it off and am I the only one who forgets to put the cup under the KEURIG?

After looking at the pictures we HAD to have taken for work, I realize I really need to have eyelid surgery (this is, of course above and beyond all of the other issues I already knew I would see). ‪

You know you’re getting old when you can throw out/ hurt your knee just getting into the car!

Okay, so I haven’t driven an automatic in the snow since 1984! To quote DC, “I’m getting very nervous about this”

I don’t really understand what this “poking” thing is, but okay……

Remember when you could just open a toy and take it out of the box? I’ll pay cash for someone to open this!!!! 💰💰

10538533_10202730931338994_9213834465729708065_n

So you know how facebook is always trying to get you to “complete your profile”? What does it say about me that the only option showing under “Which musicians do you like” is: GILBERT O’SULLIVAN????? ….and yes, I do know who he is……………………

I may or may not have just washed my spoon at work with Windex because I was too lazy to walk back downstairs to the kitchen ….

Just wondering, a week later, because that is what I do…… Is it odd that I was watching a show about Zombies, blood, guts and cannibals and the guy chewing gum (or whatever) is what grossed me out?

I just un-wrapped a cough drop, threw it in my purse and shoved the wrapper in my mouth…… It’s already been one of those days…

I just tried to open the garage door with my phone

NEVER look into the magnifying side of the mirror while wearing cheaters!

It happened! I was offered a senior discount 😦

and let’s not forget The alarm went off and Mom has lost her mind 

I don’t think I have to go on……. Fortunately all of the above happened in a span of a couple of years. I would really be worried if they happened all on top of each other.

Having just said that: Today I was in the office on a Saturday. I went down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I got the cup, tossed in the tea bag, threw in some truvia and it wasn’t until I started filling the cup with hot water from the dispenser that  I noticed the unopened packet of truvia floating in the cup.

Later at home while making tea, I tossed in the tea bag, and a packet of truvia – making sure that I opened and poured the contents into the cup and put it into the microwave. When I took it out I discovered I had forgotten the water.

Again, I HAVE had a few things on my mind lately and I am notorious for not paying attention (she says trying to defend herself)…

I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging here……  and I think might be time to give up tea….

DC Speaks – Doug’s 153rd Birthday and why Mrs. H is just so jealous.

DC has his own Facebook and Instagram accounts. Instagram is private and I only accept people I absolutely know to follow him. 90% of the photos on this account are photos taken of him by me or someone other than himself. The photos and videos he has taken himself are pages from whatever book he may be reading, food, princesses from either books or the computer screen and videos of YouTube videos of Cinderella dancing (spinning mostly) or other characters spinning. There’s a lot of spinning.

I set up the account for him because he enjoys looking at photos so much. Apparently he enjoys looking at them much more than he enjoys taking them.

His facebook is set for friends only. I thought it would be a good way for his cousins and him to connect. I also thought it would be a good way for some of his father’s family that might feel uncomfortable being “friends” with me, to keep up with what he is doing. A good number of his Dad’s family are friends with me, but he has other cousins (2nd? Once Removed? – I am never clear on that) that are friends with him there.

He is not allowed to write anything unless he asks permission first and then I stand there while he writes whatever it is he wants to write. I hold my breath when I notice a spelling error hoping he does not notice. I know I should correct him and I do if he hasn’t finished the sentence or paragraph and I do always correct him if he is writing anything else. But on a status post, if he notices a typo he will backspace and delete one letter at a time until he reaches the word he wants to correct and then type the whole thing over again. This could take centuries. He is not allowed to accept friend requests until I can figure out who the requester is. He does not post his own photos. I’m sure he could, but his friends will be inundated with photos of Judy Garland, Amy Adams, princesses and Disney characters.

He does go on Facebook on his phone to look at pictures of his friends. He is allowed to do that. So far and it had been 4 years, he has followed all of these rules. I check his phone and his account daily. Lately he is starting to lose interest in typing a status. He does not like to type to begin with, I thought this would help him get used to typing. He still, every once in a while will ask to write something or I will sometimes take a photo and ask him to write what we are doing, but not as often as before. He still does go on everyday to look at pictures though and as I said, he will still post a status or two.

I was thinking about DC’s past status updates and decided to go through and pull out some of my favorites.

(Translations and/or explanations are in parentheses – a few names have been edited – other than that, nothing has been changed or corrected)

So, in no particular order, DC speaks…….

 

-We Going to Anthony.s for Thanksgiving Dinner i want Tuckey Legs

– i Hate Snow

– i hate Snow . i like going to Work with Mom

– i Hate Snow

(I think he might not like snow very much)

– The Lights is On

– we Had Fun at Halloween Party. i am Happy. Be Brave For No Storm

(worrying about losing power)

– i am so Happy is Halloween

– we going to sleepy Hollow with ‘BB’ and and mom and doug i am so exciting

– i Like the Movies Trouble with The Curves

– i going to Dad.s wedding I am looking handsome

– going to grandmother. s and have some muffins

(“grandmother’s” – from Disney and other books)

– Happt collation

(Graduation)

– luau day like lilo

(Luau day at camp – the only thing he can relate it to is Lilo and Stitch, because Everything is related)

last day of camp was yestrday. i had a fun. i am going to grandmother.s today. a very merry unBirthday

– I went to hospital todat 

(See post about first time in Emergency Room)

– i am tired. i went to grandmas i went to winter guard show i did a good job i went to dinner with mom and doug and mom; s freind suzanne and her frien. i dance to wing it i am going to sleep now where has the time gone

– i ate alligator in new Orleans

– We having fun in Florida mrs h will be so jealos

(“Mrs. H. will be so Jealous” – there are quite a few of these. I did not include them all only because I could not find them all. Mrs. H. being jealous began 3 years ago when DC was in his last season of Challengers baseball and DC’s team was invited to Fenway Park for Challengers Day – All Kids Can. Mrs. H. had mentioned that her husband, Mr. H. was so jealous because he would have loved to go to Fenway. I don’t think DC really understood what “jealous” meant at the time, but he did know that he was doing something that Mr. H. wanted to do (I’ve since explained it to him many times in many different ways). Somewhere along the way Mr. H. being jealous evolved into Mrs. H. and it just went from there. I know as does she that he thinks jealousy is a good thing.

– I had turkey leg and turkey wing and bread. with mom and uncle smap and aunt lisa.
I like pie.
we going to lunch with uncle ted later after that.

– I want a turkey leg today

– phew.
I work at theater.
we went to the ball.
we ate dinner with uncle scamp and aunt lisa.
we went to camp Halloween party.

– We going to mountain of oz on Saturday.
We taking the airplane tomorrow have to get some rest.
I will see my family.
We going to dilly wood tomorrow if it does not rain have some fun

– I had fun time. Not New York City. Next week we going to New York City. Lots of food and book store

– Thank you thank you mrs .H happy happy Easter
I love jelly beans too

– I am happy to have my birthday
Today is my birthday,

– Mrs  H  will Be Jelous

(I don’t recall what she was so jealous about this time. That was all there was to the post)

– I love jellybeans too

– Have a Thanksgiving day. I don.t have work. i will have dinner With My Family. me and mom doug uncle scamp Aunt Lisa Erica I want turkey Leg

–  Mom fell down blood over her I did not take picture she is ok

(we were out walking our CharityMiles)

– I did good work at the theater to day I liked the dream girls show. I m not tired

– Happy Birthday to all
and to all a Good Wishes
Happy birthday DC
Tha;ts me

(It was his birthday. I think he was actually thanking people for the Birthday posts on his page)

– I am a ogre

– I am brave

(also storm related)

and my favorite…

– Happy 153 birthday doug

This ‘boy’ puts a smile on my face every single day…..