That year we weren’t home for Christmas..

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

The holiday season is here and I will admit to having a bit of a Love/Hate relationship with holidays in general. I want to love them, I do, it just does not always work out that way. I have reached the age where I should be able to place a 2 or 3 foot silver Christmas tree on a table somewhere and have that be the end of it, but I may never achieve that particular rite of passage because of course, DC loves the holidays.

I am glad he does and watching his excitement does help me get more in the spirit of things (that and watching too many Hallmark Christmas movies).

He is excited, so I am excited for him.

A few years ago we decided to move our then regularly scheduled, first week of January vacation to the week of Christmas just to avoid all of the holiday hoopla.

Did we choose a “Christmassy” destination like those found in the Hallmark movies?

No.

We chose Disney because nothing else could take the confusion out of or help soften the blow of a “different” Christmas than another trip to Disney.

I was still worried that this would not be Christmas in DC’s eyes because Florida is really not the place that comes to mind when one thinks Christmas.

And then I worried about the gifts…

From 2014:

The Christmas Vacation Dilemma

A few days before Christmas, I read a post from another favorite blogger of mine, Mother O’ Jim, titled “When Delaying is Enhancing…” . The blog was about her son’s Christmas anxiety over a gift he knew he was going to receive (give it a read if you have a minute) and the steps taken to minimize his anxiety.

While I was reading this post I was thinking about DC. Although he does get very excited and anxious around Christmas-time, reminding me many times everyday that “Christmas is coming soon” – he does not seem to get as anxious as Jim from the blog.

I was a little bit concerned about this Christmas though. Everything about this holiday season seemed to be different. Thanksgiving is normally spent at a restaurant (the same restaurant) with DC, Doug, my brother and sister-in-law and at times, my niece. This year, my niece had moved out of state a few months earlier and Doug was away on a cruise with his sister and his father. The restaurant even seemed to be different, more crowded and much less organized.

DC’s Dad decided to go to Florida for an undetermined amount of time. He left in mid-November. He would not be here around Christmas for DC and for the first time ever, we decided to take our vacation a few weeks earlier than usual and were scheduled to leave Christmas morning. We had to leave the house by 8:30 in the morning.

DC does understand that now that he is an adult, Santa only brings his stocking. The rest of the gifts are from me (Mom). But, would he understand when he woke up on Christmas morning to only a stocking, even if he received the same big pile of gifts the night before? I explained this to him over and over again and he said he understood. This NEVER means that he really understands.

After reading the blog I spoke of earlier, I got a little bit more anxious about it. Jim was happy to get his gift early as would DC, but I know in his head, this would not – even if he agreed that it would – eliminate the expectation of the Christmas morning pile of gifts. I know this from the many, many times I have given him choices to do “this” or have “this” now instead of later or instead of doing or having something different. He agrees but then still expects whatever he traded away.

I realized that I would have to do more than explain it to him over and over again. I thought about showing him pictures, but then I realized that it would make more sense to him and he would not think he’s missing out if he saw the same pile of gifts just being given at a different time.

So I took a photo of our tree and another of the bookcase where Santa usually leaves his stocking and I usually leave his surprise gifts. Then I cut out photos of presents that I could move from one place to the other so he could see that he would be getting the same amount of gifts, just earlier than usual.

(These photos are not of our tree. The originals were terrible. It seems that every time I need to print – the ink just about gone)

Normally after opening gifts at my mother’s, we come home and DC opens the gifts that are already under the tree. There is usually only a few because he knows he’ll be receiving Mom’s hidden gifts in the morning with his stocking from Santa.

Gifts from Mom on Christmas Eve

More gifts from Mom and Stocking from Santa on Christmas morning

More Gifts From Mom and a Stocking from Santa

I had him move the gifts himself, from Christmas morning to Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve – ALL of Mom’s Gifts

So…..Christmas morning would be just Santa.

vacaxmasday

(Santa would surprise him with another stocking at the hotel when we arrived, but he was not aware of this yet)

We did this every day until I was as sure as I could be that he understood that he was getting the same amount of gifts… just earlier.

Still I was a little bit nervous about Christmas morning….

He was up very early as usual – this was fine since we had to leave early.
He saw the stocking filled with everything he’d asked Santa for. He was happy, maybe not as excited as he usually is, but he wasn’t disappointed – that had been my biggest concern.

There was enough time to use and play with everything in the stocking and enough time to watch the entire Peter Pan Live DVD he’d asked for.
He never made it through the 3 hour version when it was live on TV, but without commercials, it was only an hour and a half!
I am still not a fan….but this time around, DC really enjoyed it.

As DC would say, “Phew, I was very nervous about this!”

Fortunately, it worked out well and he had a Merry Christmas!

As for me, I am still in search of that Hallmark-like Christmas Town and that 3 foot silver tree remains a dream.

*****

This is a Finish the Sentence Friday post:

Finish the Sentence Friday is a link-up where writers and bloggers come together to share their themselves with a particular sentence. This week’s prompt – “The holiday season is coming, and…”

Visit the link at Finding Ninee to read more FTSF posts.

It’s Thanksgiving..

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

DC has been counting the days waiting for Thanksgiving to arrive and just know that he would never imagine keeping me out of the loop on this…… daily/hourly/every few minutes.

I do have to say that his ‘Thanksgiving’ pronunciation has improved over the past year but “firsday’ is still ‘firsday’

I am not really sure why he looks forward to this holiday so much. He will eat turkey (preferably with bones) but other than that, there is really nothing else “Thanksgivingy” that he will eat.

Turkey and bread. That is about the extent of it and honestly if there are no bones (legs or wings) to be had, the bread is really the main event. He will eat the turkey but he is not very excited about it.

He does look forward to seeing his aunt and uncle. He enjoys staying in a hotel.

And there’s dessert. We can’t forget the dessert.

Or the bread..

Happy a Happy Holiday!

*****

Happy Thanksgiving!

(November 2015)

Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving…..

Someone I know is looking very forward to a turkey leg –

or “Chicken with bones and sprinkles”

-although I’m sure the wings will do in a pinch.

It’s all about the bones.

But bones aside, right now he would just like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

“I Love you, Mom” (Just a little Thanksgiving Quickie)

(November 2013)

DC flashing the I Love you Sign as he does almost anytime he walks by me.

Who would not be thankful for this wonderful child who will just flash me the “I Love You” sign, just because he happens to be walking by or just randomly peek around the corner to say “I love you, Mom”.

Happy Thanksgiving…….

***

Speaking of Bacon and Delayed Reactions…..

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

The subject of DC’s former aversion to bacon (it still creeps up every once in awhile) came up the other day and a discussion of his delayed reactions was had a little while back. Both made me think about this post from 2015, when he was convinced that bacon had given him the flu and the delayed reaction he had about it.

Imaginatively titled:

BACON

DC’s reactions are not always immediate. Due to these delayed reactions, it is not always easy for me to figure out just what is going on or what the problem might be.

When he was 4 or 5 he stopped eating – completely…. for close to a month. He would not swallow solid food. With a lot of coaxing he would put it in his mouth, but that was as far as it went before he would spit it out. After a few visits to the doctor to be sure this was not a medical issue, I, with the help of his teacher and IA, started looking for ideas to get him to eat again. I bought all of his favorite foods. They worked with him in the classroom. I even resorted to candy. Nothing!

One day, I was making him a steak, one of his favorites at the time. It was right then and there I realized what was going on. He actually looked frightened of the steak. This wasn’t a sensory thing, it was fear. After seeing the look of utter terror on his face I remembered a choking incident with a bagel one morning about a month before. The thing about it was that he didn’t react right away – otherwise I would have figured this out much sooner. He was fine afterwards and even finished the bagel he was eating.

I couldn’t pin-point exactly when or why the delayed reaction kicked in but it did and he was afraid to eat. Once I figured out the reason, I was able to help him get back to eating solid food again. We started with pudding and yogurt and just dipped the tip of the spoon in, just so there was a taste on the spoon. I continued this way, increasing the taste on the spoon until he was taking a regular spoonful. I added other foods like applesauce to the menu. When that part was behind us, I started breaking up bread, into almost crumbs, until he realized it was safe for him to eat again.

DC used to ride horses. He rode once a week for a good 5 years, if not longer. One day his teacher had him riding in the outdoor rink (I’m sure there is a proper name for that, but I am calling it a rink) – he didn’t ride in the outdoor rink very often. Most of his lessons were inside. When he did ride outdoors, it was usually down the driveway, across the street and up the dead-end road and back. On this particular day in the outdoor rink (seriously, Kathleen is not going to be happy that I don’t know the proper name), his horse spooked, reared up went galloping wildly. It scared him, it scared me, but he stayed on and continued his lesson with no problem.

His indoor lesson the following week went well. His ride outside on the driveway route was fine too. It had to be a few months later when they tried to take him out to the outdoor rink that the fear kicked in. He wasn’t having any of it. He acted like he was never on a horse before. After thinking about it for a minute, I remembered and explained his reaction to the assistant. He was a little better once they went back inside but not at the level he was at the beginning of the lesson. The outdoor rink brought out his fear and that fear carried over to the indoor rink. It took a while for him to feel comfortable again.

About a year later his horse spooked during his inside lesson. Again, he seemed fine – Me? – Not so much. I was close to heart failure, but I didn’t let him see that – and rode the full hour as if nothing had happened. But… the following week he was terrified. He continued to be terrified until we finally just gave it up altogether. even though I was relieved to let it go, it was a shame because at one time he really liked it. Horses were one of the few animals he was not afraid of. He was actually pretty good at it.

So… over our Christmas vacation, DC got sick. Other than his bouts with his allergies, he rarely gets sick, but when he does, he really goes big! For a good few days afterward, he really didn’t want to eat at all. He seemed fine otherwise so I wasn’t really sure if he was still not feeling well or if he was just afraid to eat. I believe and still do, that he was #1 – exhausted from being sick and #2 – he was afraid and relating his illness to food. As we were on vacation and eating in restaurants daily, this was probably at least partially the case. He was eating lots of things that he doesn’t normally eat, at least not on a daily basis.

When he did finally feel like eating at little bit, there were certain foods I wanted him to stay away from so as not to upset his stomach all over again. He continued to be a little bit leery about eating for a good week after we were home. Last week, after going to see the Buddy Holly Story with his friend, BB, we all went out to dinner. DC ordered a cheeseburger with bacon. When it arrived, he removed the bacon and left it on the plate. I asked why, but I couldn’t get an answer. Now, I am almost positive he had bacon at least once since we’d come home from vacation, so I didn’t really think all that much about it.

DC discovered bacon a few years ago on a cruise ship and like his garlic bread, takes every opportunity to order it. I used to buy it for him, but decided that he really did not need to eat that much bacon, so I let it become one of his “restaurant only” foods, like cheeseburger and fries.

This week, at the hotel where we were ‘Snow-cationing’, bacon was available on the breakfast buffet. I didn’t really notice it until morning #3, but there was no way that DC had not seen it on the previous two mornings. I asked him if he wanted bacon. He started signing “all done”, a sign that he still uses when he REALLY does not want something. I asked him if he was sure. “No, Bacon!” – while signing more adamantly. “I don’t want to get sick! I don’t want to get sick!”.

Bacon had been one of the things I did not let him have after he got sick on vacation. Now, in his mind it was the reason he had gotten sick. There were a couple of other people in the breakfast room and I didn’t want him to continue yelling about “getting sick”, so I explained quickly that he did not have to have the bacon, but bacon was not the reason he became ill on vacation. He was getting more and more anxious about it, so I just let it go.

I know that some may disagree, but bacon is not really a necessity in anybody’s life, so I am not going to push it.

Now if I could somehow get him off the cheeseburgers and fries…….. hmmmmm.

One day my log will have something to say about this- Halloween 2017

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

It’s a wrap on Halloween 2017 and you knew there would be one more post on the subject.

———-

DC and I got a late start this year…..

As with everything this year, I really wasn’t in the “spirit”… We did not have any Halloween themed weekends planned and we did not even think about costumes until mid-September (which may seem normal for you, but for us – it is way behind schedule)

Once we sat down and started looking at costumes, the spirit started to kick back in a little bit.

Like last year, DC was pretty straight-forward with his costume choices. There was nothing that he wanted to be that did not exist or could not be put together quite easily. If he had more time to think about it as in previous years, that may not have been the case, but as Halloweens go, this looked to be another relatively easy year – or so I thought.

Although we did not have a Halloween trip planned, we did take a ride to the Blaze in Hudson Valley (very close to Sleepy Hollow) with BB and his family.

The weather was perfect and we all had a nice time. It finally began to feel like Halloween.

DC’s first “costumed” event was a dance held by his day/work program. DC does not normally attend the monthly dances because he says they are boring (and they sure are)… BUT when there is a costume involved, he is certainly willing to attend, even if just for a little while. Usually we just recycle a costume from a previous year for this event since he does not usually stay all that long.

He wore his Goblin King/Jareth costume (which he loves) to the dance. Last year I believe he lasted about 45 minutes at the dance. He just wants to wear his costume, eat and leave. This year I managed to get him to stay about an hour and a half – and there wasn’t even pizza!

One down….

The following day was the annual Best Buddies Halloween party. DC has two Buddies (sometimes 3 when one of their friends tags along) who, earlier in the month at an apple picking event asked him what he was going to be for the party. They were asking because they wanted to coordinate costumes with him. Hearing this, I told them that I just “happened” to have 2, possibly 3 costumes at home that went with DC’s costume and I went home while they were picking apples, to get them (no pressure at all).

They agreed….

He was in his glory….

Lumiere, Cogsworth and the Beast.

It was unfortunate that I was not able to find my old Belle costume because the 3rd Buddy was in attendance and DC would have just flipped to also have Belle with him. These poor girls had to wear those DC-sized costumes all afternoon. I am sure there were plenty of pins involved, but they did it AND won a prize for the best threesome!

His next costume opportunity was a fundraiser for his camp held at Haunted Golf. He chose Kristoff from Frozen. It was a pretty good choice as it was a warm costume and it happened to be rather cold out there that night and there is nothing worse than having to wear a coat or jacket over one’s Halloween costume.

Nothing… Seriously… Look it up..it is just not done!

Just what kind of reading material would Kristoff bring to read while manning the camp table?

Well – Frozen of course!

One of the owners of the course, knowing DC’s love of Disney and princesses was not wearing her costume that night due to the low temperatures. As soon as she found out that DC was on the grounds, she went to change into Snow White just for him.

DC was thrilled and I really do not believe that he knew that Snow was the same person he was just talking to 10 minutes before. He did, however point out to her that she was missing her red headband/ribbon. He does not miss much when it comes to his princesses.

So far, so good… but this was about to change.

DC had asked to be Aladdin many times when he was younger. This was back when there was only one costume per season on Halloween – before there were parties to attend too. Back then (and still to this day) his official Halloween night costume always included me and Doug (before Doug had enough and started opting out) – it was a theme; always. Being Aladdin meant that I was supposed to be Jasmine. I may not have always been in the “weighty” situation that I find myself in today, but still – that was not happening. Eventually he forgot about it, until this summer when he found an Aladdin hat to wear for Disney Day at Camp. It must have reminded him and Aladdin was first on his list this year.

He decided on Prince Ali of ‘A-ba-ba-ba-ba” (Agrabah) – This turned out to be a case of me not taking the ‘wearing’ of the costume into consideration after seeing him so excited to find exactly what he wanted.

Oftentimes, even with an XL adult costume, there are pieces that just do not fit around his waist. Salli’s Mom came to my rescue the year before and sewed an extra piece of matching material in the back of his Jareth vest so it was comfortable for him. But there was not all that much that could be done with Prince Ali.

The suit itself was all one piece that zipped up the back. The cape, gold sashes and gold belt were all one piece too. The idea was to put the whole thing over his head and close the belt in the back with Velcro.

Problem #1: Someone would have to unzip and zip the suit for him of he had to use the restroom.

Problem #2: The belt did not make it around his waist, which meant I had to pin it directly to the once piece costume, making it even more difficult to remove to use the restroom.

It’s a 2 hour party – you say. Chances are he will not even have to use the restroom – you say. Well all of the people reading this who know DC personally are laughing hysterically at you right now, trust me.

Immediately after arriving, he was already asking to use the restroom. I took him, got the whole thing off, got the whole thing back on and he walked back into the stall!!!!

Me: “What are you doing?”

DC: “Bafroom”

Aaaaannnnndd I took the whole thing off and put the whole thing back on again…

Back at the party, I had to first apologize to the director for choosing this costume, then explain that someone would need to help him if he needed the restroom again and show them how to get him out of it. Well…. DC heard “restroom” and you guessed it; one more time!

I took the whole thing off and put it all back on for the third time in less than 15 minutes. I was starting to lose it at this point and it was certainly time for Salli’s mom and I to leave and get some coffee. I was certain that by the time we got back for pick-up, I would find the costume abandoned in a corner somewhere. I was pleasantly surprised that he was still wearing it and was still happy to be wearing it. (Just to be clear – DC was having no problem with the costume at all. He could care less that it was such a production getting it off. I did think that the staff might have gotten quite sick of it at some point and have him just leave it off – I would not have blamed them in the least)

Moving on to HALLOWEEN!

His party costumes are all about him. Our Halloween night costumes are all about us (more so now than when he was younger). They are about things that both of us enjoy or are significant to us. There have been plenty of times that no one knew who or what we were or I wasn’t as hilariously clever as I thought I was, but we do not care. We know who we are and we have fun.

This duo, on paper should have been easy.

DC was going to dress as Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks and I was going as The Log Lady.

No sweat!

Wrong!

DC’s costume was relatively easy. Fortunately there are plenty of “Castiel” overcoat costumes out there. All we needed was a shirt, tie and a wig and then I had to come up with a trick-or-treat bag.

Bags and props are important. One just cannot use your standard everyday trick-or-treat bag.

When we did the Oz theme it was DC, Doug and I. We did not have a forth for the Loin. I decorated his bucket as a loin. When he was Dr. Horrible, he carried a “Penny’s Frozen Yogurt” bag – The Doctor; a Dalek bag – Elf; a Christmas bag – Jareth; The Babe with the power bag – you get the point.

I decided he needed a giant coffee cup and believe it or not, I found a giant coffee cup! The cup arrived and in the continuing saga of “what was I thinking” I realized that it was just much too heavy for him to carry around with him. Shocking, that A Giant Ceramic Coffee Cup would actually be heavy, I know. I decided that we would use it for photos only and began my search for a Coffee or Twin Peaks bag.

Finding a bag was not as difficult as I assumed. Mission accomplished.

The Log Lady:

Sweater, Wig, Glasses and a log – Easy? As it turned out, no.

Finding an ugly sweater with a belt was next to impossible. I finally had to settle for a men’s sweater and added a belt, but I wasn’t happy with it.

A wig. I bought 3 – destroyed 2 trying to cut them.

Log. I could have gone out to the yard but I wanted something that was not too heavy. I was extremely excited to find a log pillow – perfect!

The final wig made me look like a very old version of Velma from Scooby Doo and it was HOT! I decided that since my real hair is in a pretty disastrous state right now, I would just go with that. I never even made it out of the house wearing the wig.

By the time I was ready, I pretty much looked like some random woman with questionable taste in sweaters and eye-wear. Not quite the Log Lady.

Oh well. DC looked good

He had fun eating pizza and trick-or-treating with his friends.

They had an enjoyable candy-filled night and DC had a fun Halloween season. The Aladdin costume will never see the light of day again and I am left with a pretty cool looking log.