In the merry old land of OZ – October reruns #FBF

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

October = Halloween, you get it by now. We love it.

Another thing that DC loves as much as Halloween and Disney is the Wizard of OZ.

Halloween 1997

All of OZ (get it?) 2009

2013 – Witches Guard and Flying Monkey

If I were to write an “Everything is Related – Oz Edition” it would probably not be much different than what I have written below.

In keeping with my #TBT / #FBF / Halloween Themed / or Halloween Trip / October reruns; below is a post from our visit to the Mountain of Oz in October 2014. It is not as long of a post as it appears to be – there are just a LOT of pictures – A visual tour one might say.

I really just found it difficult to control myself.

Because, Because, Because, Because….BEEEE CAUSE

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Right up there on DC’s ‘fandom’ meter with all things Disney is the Wizard of Oz. I can not really put my finger on how, when or where this fixation developed as it is not a Disney production, but it certainly did. DC owns every version of every book, movie and soundtrack of The Wizard of Oz.

There is nothing that would make him happier than a visit to OZ.

As I mentioned in Part One of this post (Hello Dolly)

I discovered a festival in Kansas called, you guessed it – The OZ Fest. The OZ fest is held in late September, not October, but still close enough to count as our Halloween trip. The OZ fest was the plan for this year’s Halloween get-away. That WAS the plan….. until we calculated the cost of the flights, rental car and hotel for the weekend and realized that it was almost equivalent to booking a cruise for a week.

Plan discarded…………… (for now)

But now I had OZ on the brain and I was not going to give up the notion of getting DC to OZ. I remembered seeing photos that my sister-in-law posted from an OZ event that they had attended a few years back. It was at Beech Mountain, North Carolina. I facebooked her to get more details. She told me that this event was very popular, but only open for ONE weekend each year; this year on October 3, 4 and 5. Tickets had to be purchased in advance. and I was told that it sold out very quickly.

Dollywood the day before worked out so, so much better than expected (with the exception of the ‘Mommy-Meltdown’) – so we were excited to get to “the Mountain of Oz’ – as DC calls it. I was still a bit apprehensive about the bus ride to the top, but I realized quickly that most of the mountain drive was by car.

I didn’t realize that DC had packed his watch and was wearing it in the car. I only did realize when we started getting minute by minute updates from the back seat:

“Mom, it is Eight-‘Firty’- Seven, we have to find Uncle ‘Liar’ –

“Mom, it is Eight-‘Firty’ – eight, we have to find Uncle ‘Liar’ –

and so on……….

DC has a difficult time pronouncing most of my brothers’ names. Uncle Larry, is ‘Uncle Lally’ (he can pronounce “Harry” and “Mary” but for some reason “Larry” is impossible for him). Uncle Lyle is ‘Uncle Liar’. He always could pronounce Ted and Skip – or so I thought. He does pronounce “Ted” correctly, but at one point I realized that all this time, he was really calling Skip, Uncle ‘Scamp’ – it sounded so much like ‘Skip’ all of the times that he’s said it that I didn’t realize he was actually calling him ‘Scamp’ until he wrote it down one day.

We arrived at the sky-resort where we were to catch the bus. We met “Uncle ‘Liar’, my sister-in-law and my niece in the parking lot. IT WAS COLD!!!!! My brother was disappointed that we were not in costume (they were not, but he knows me well). My title of “Queen of the Costume” was now tarnished, forever!

(Did I mention that it was COLD!!!???)

– I have to give props to the “Autumn at Oz” people for sending out more than one e-mail to let ticket holders know just how cold it was excepted to be. This would not have occurred to me and thanks to them, we were prepared – But still….. IT WAS COLD!!!

We had a little time after we checking in to have some hot chocolate and coffee. There were a couple of buildings open for us to go and get warm while we waited.

Needless to say the Italian Ice vendor outside did not do very well on this day. Hopefully he did better on Sunday.

After our hot chocolate/coffee/heat break, we went out to board the bus. We were first in line for our bus, which means we would be seated all the way in the back. My sister in law gets a bit of motion sickness, made worse by riding in the back. She and my brother were allowed to take the front seat, while DC and I took one seat in the back and my niece and Doug took the other, a decision my niece would soon regret.

Now we were “Defying Gravity” on our ride up to the top of the mountain –
while desperately trying to “Keep away from the Jitterbug” –
to “Ease on down the Road”, –
on our journey to reach “The Merry Old Land of Oz”.

The Wizard of Oz soundtrack was playing on the bus on our way up the mountain; Doug, being Doug, decided, out of nowhere, to just belt out “If I were the king of the Foreeeeest”

I will never be able to describe the look on my niece’s face, ever. I told Doug that he was embarrassing her, but that is what he lives for. The look on her face was priceless and although I felt sorry for her, I just could not stop laughing. She was just mortified. Not being able to stop laughing actually distracted me from the ride that I had been so apprehensive about. I will never forget that face and even now as I’m writing, I am laughing.

Exiting the bus; we soon ran into Dorothy and Toto sitting near a fountain. I have to hand it to these characters, it was so cold but they never let on, one would never know by looking at them that they were freezing.

(It was never my intention to turn this post into a visual tour, but I can not help myself. It was impressive.)

We followed the path and came upon Professor Marvel. He warned us all about the storm that was predicted to come through at any time!

We continued on the path to Kansas and where we would hopefully find shelter from the oncoming twister.

: Entering Kansas

: Hmmmm, the Wizard in Kansas?

: Miss Gulch!!!! YIKES!

: Cold Dorothy

We found the Gale farm. While waiting to get into the house, Dorothy saw DC waving to her through the crowd. She walked into the crowd to greet DC and launched into the whole spiel – She was very nervous. Miss Gulch tried to take Toto for chasing her cat. She needed to find Auntie Em to protect her and Toto from Miss Gulch.

“If you see Auntie Em, please tell her I need help”

DC ate it up. He felt as if he was a part of the story.

Heading into Dorothy’s house, the Ruby Slippers were on display and a band played on the front porch.

Once inside we found Auntie Em and DC relayed the message from Dorothy. Auntie Em was thankful and told DC that if he saw her again, please tell Dorothy to come home.

But we had to hurry to the cellar……. the storm was fast approaching!

“The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch*. … “

Half way down the stairs on the way to the storm cellar and partially through the ‘twister’ DC said, “I am getting very nervous about this” but he continued through the dark through the storm. When the storm was over, we found the house a mess and the floors topsy turvy – it was hard to stand up straight.

We walked outside to hear the Mayor declaring the Wicked Old Witch, dead!

“It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch, Which was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch”*

DC was happy to be out of the house and excited as he was now realizing that the journey we were on was moving in order, right along with the story. The Yellow Brick road would be coming into view shortly.
We rounded the corner and there we met Glinda. Glinda, in DC’s eyes is equivalent to a Princess. She has “princess status” in his world. He is always happy when Glinda appears, and now he would be meeting her in person!

Onward through Munchkin Land .

Leaving Munchkin Land, the munchkins told us that we had to “Follow The Yellow Brick Road*” – and so we did.

– Along the way we came across every character that resides in the Land of Oz – good and evil.
I can’t say enough about the actors that played these characters. I am told that they are all volunteers. These people were impressive. They were definitely “Disney-Caliber”. Not only were they out there all day, in costume, in the cold, but they never broke character. A few even burst into song.

Let me tell you, if DC decides to throw a line at you, you better be able to respond, in character and correctly. Believe me, his interaction with the Oz characters was no different that his conversations with ‘his’ Disney Princesses. They all had the proper response or song to whatever DC decided to discuss with them and we all know that DC can come up with the rather obscure reference. One HAS to know the movie inside and out to pass the DC realism test. Each and every one of them passed with flying colors.

Once we walked a little bit of the way down the Yellow Brick Road, the wind seemed to die down and we were in direct sunlight; the hats and gloves came off – jackets were still needed but it was really, really nice there.

The Scarecrow sang when DC asked him about his brain and then he pointed us in the direction of the Emerald City – although he could not seem to make up his mind.

DC could not resist knocking on the Tin Man’s chest
– just checking for a heart

“Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh my!”*
The Cowardly Lion……
– and yes, Doug showed great restraint in not belting out the ‘King of the Forest’ tune again.

We were now getting closer and closer to the Wicked Witch!

“I’d turn back if I were you!”*

But we didn’t turn back……. Who’s afraid of a Wicked Old Witch anyway? But, curses, we neglected to bring our buckets of water! We’d have to take our chances.

After DC and my niece both declined the Witch’s offer to join her flying monkey army, we were on our way, fully intact. PHEW!

We approached the poppy field and said one last goodbye to everyone we had met along the way.

DC, of course had to call an impromptu powwow to make sure that each of the characters were absolutely aware of who they were supposed to be….
– Just in case they didn’t know.

“We’re off to see the Wizard”*

But first……. we had to ask for admittance into the Emerald City.

I so wish I had thought to take a video of this exchange. DC went through the entire scene – he rang the bell, the door guard yelled at him and slammed the door for ringing said bell. He then followed the new directions, now that the sign was turned to the proper side, and knocked… because of course we know that the bell is “out of order” – he laughed and laughed. I think this may just have been his favorite part of the entire day in Oz.
His cousin really got a kick out of how much he was getting a kick out of all of this.

Directions followed properly – we were granted permission to enter the Emerald City and given an audience with…..
The Man behind the curtain……. The Wizard.

Finally DC had the opportunity to recite “There’s no place like home”*.
Wish granted, and we made our way back to the bus, but first we came upon the characters once again, this time from the original book.

I read somewhere that the Emerald City was lost to a fire. It is a shame; based on the quality of the Yellow Brick Road – I have to imagine that the Emerald City must have been magnificent. Even with the loss of the Emerald City, the story was told from beginning to end.

We were right in time for the bus. I had photos to post so this kept me occupied on the bus ride back down the mountain.

My niece opted not to sit with Doug on the way back down.

I really do not know just what I was expecting at “Autumn at OZ” but I have to say, it was above and beyond anything I could have imagined. It was beautiful, very well maintained and VERY well staffed. It was such a fun day. Yes, it was cold, but we were warned and we were prepared. The trip was well worth it. We had a wonderful time (“terrific time” – ‘terrific’ being DC’s new word).
The whole adventure from the bus stop to the end was very well organized. There was not a long wait for anything.

I would recommend this event to anyone. It is a shame it is only open once a year, but if you are an OZ fan (even if you are not), it is well worth it. DC will never forget his trip to OZ.

I have to talk a little bit about my niece as well. My brother and his family have lived in Tennessee since DC was born. My niece and DC have only actually met each other maybe three times since she was born. So she has not spent much time with DC at all over the years. I have to say I was so impressed with her. She was not afraid of him – you might think that is an odd thing to say as he is her cousin, but believe me – it’s happened, more than I care to think about. She put up with him hugging the stuffing out of her all day. She made attempts at conversation with him, even if the response she got didn’t have anything to do with what she originally said to him. The day went wonderfully and HE is completely enamored with her.

I am so glad we had the opportunity to visit OZ with them – I think we all had a fabulous time.

Even this guy…………

In the event that anyone may be concerned ……..

after dinner with my brother and his family, we were able to find a bookstore…

Choosing my battles……..

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

We went away this weekend to NYC and Sleepy Hollow. We try to take a Halloween Weekend every year to somewhere either “Halloweenish”, Spooky, Historical or where costumes are involved. We will be going to a ComicCon the weekend after Halloween (that counts) so we decided to do just a quick overnight to Sleepy Hollow this weekend. Our usual Halloween destination is Salem MA, but we’ve switched it up the past couple of years mainly due to the fact that Doug is <insert colorful metaphors> of going to Salem – I, on the other hand, never tire of it.

We had already done a weekend in Sleepy Hollow a couple of years back. We did just about everything there was to do with the exception of the BLAZE. I did not know that in order to do anything in Sleepy Hollow in October, tickets must be purchased on-line ahead of time. Fortunately, once I discovered this and by the skin if my teeth, I was able to get tickets for everything else.

This year we thought ahead and got tickets for the BLAZE early. Since that was all we were going to do in Sleepy Hollow, we decided to first spend the day in New York City (DC’s favorite place), check into our room in Sleepy Hollow and go to the BLAZE at 9:30 PM (the only time available when we purchased the tickets).

I had not been feeling well all week and would have opted to skip the whole thing and stay home on the couch, but DC had already been told about the trip and he already added it to the calendar so that meant it was engraved in stone.

Knowing his propensity to over-pack DVD’s for the sole purpose of stacking them next to him while he watches YouTube on his computer, and knowing full well there would be a visit to a bookstore at some point during the trip, I told him that he could only bring 5 DVD’s and 2 books. I said it more than once. I just didn’t want to have to keep track of a bunch of unnecessary stuff and try to carry a bunch of unnecessary stuff. I just wanted to pack light and get this over with. (I did forget my jacket in the room, so I really couldn’t manage to keep track of the necessary stuff – turns out, they don’t ship forgotten things. We have to go back and get it).

5 DVD’s and 2 books.

“Okay Mom!”

He went about packing his laptop, his DVD’s, his books, and pens to edit said books.

“DC, how many DVD’s did you pack?”

“5 DVD’s – 2 books”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I promise”

When I went to grab the charger for his phone, I found that he already packed that as well. I found THAT to be a bit impressive. He is usually only concerned with his books, DVD’s and laptop.

I told him how proud I was that he remembered his charger by himself. He took that compliment and added that “I am proud of the 5 DVD’s and 2 books” – he was just pointing out the fact that I forgot to tell him in that sentence that I was proud that he followed the rules.

We spent the day in New York City. We visited all of his favorite places and headed out for Sleepy Hollow about 3 pm. All I wanted to do was sleep for a little while before dinner and the Blaze. In the room I was just telling Doug what a great job DC did packing only what I told him to and remembering his charger, when I noticed a good 15 to 20 DVD’s sitting next to his laptop. Now, this has been an issue before and the celebration over him being sneaky and figuring out that he could just hide them is long over with. I do have to give him props for figuring out if he packed his own charger there would be no reason for me to go into his backpack (a new level of sneakiness), but like Tonya in ‘All the …..small things’, I have to be the mother, even though I knew full well what would be in store for me after reprimanding him.

As soon as he realized that I noticed just how many DVD’s he had with him, it started…..

“I am sorry Mom. I will never lie again!”

“I am so sorry, Mother!”

DC only gets to use his laptop and DVDs on the weekends. That has been the rule for many years. Losing his computer privileges is the only thing that EVER makes any kind of impression on him.

“DC, you lied to me again. I told you the last time you lied to me that you only had one more chance before your lost your computer for the weekend. This was your last chance, so no computer for the weekend.”

(Seriously, as punishments go, this is really not much of one. It was all ready Saturday night. We would be going out soon and we were leaving the hotel the next morning, but this did not matter to him).

Now, 2 inches from my face……

“I promise to never tell a lie again”

“Mom, I’m sorry!” – those of you that know DC, you know that:

He is sorry for absolutely everything! Partially he believes “I’m sorry” will get him out of anything. Like a typical man, he thinks that saying “I’m sorry” even if he doesn’t know what he’s sorry about will get him out of anything or at least get me to stop talking. If he really wants to bring it home, he goes to: “I’m ‘ter-bly’ sorry” or “I am soooooo sorry”. He’ll even throw in a “Can you ever forgive me?” (movie line), if he thinks it’s necessary.

He says he’s sorry, WHILE he’s doing something he shouldn’t, and will continue right on doing whatever it is because he’s covered, he already said he was sorry. Or he’ll say he’s sorry when he’s about to do something he knows he’s not supposed to do. He’s covered, he said he was sorry!

I heard this and variations of this throughout the evening all recited 2 inches from my face. I won’t go into the amount of times I explained to him that just because he promises not to do it again does not get him out of the punishment he was already given. I understood that he was sorry and I was proud of him for being sorry…… believe me, it was covered and covered.

*****

We did enjoy the Blaze –

but every few minutes he reverted back into his “I’m sorry” campaign.

Back in the room, he changed his tactic.

“Mom, thank you for much for the trip”

“Mom, thank you so much for the dolls”

“Mom, you are my queen.”

“I love you Mademoiselle”

“I am being so good!”

I did explain to him as I always do that I never would think or say that he was “bad” – he is not bad; he just did something wrong – on purpose.

We went to sleep (remember, I am still not feeling well). 4 or 5 times during the night, I woke up to find this boy 3 inches from my face telling me that he has “Good Behavior” and “I promise never to lie again”

There are times when DC really does not understand what he has done wrong and I will speak with him and try to get him to understand – this was not one of those times. He knew exactly what he was doing while he was doing it. I can not just let everything go, even though at this point I really wanted to get some sleep. If I gave in now he’d know that I would give in the next time.

Morning came.

He hadn’t packed any paper to bring on the trip so he resorted to writing me apology notes on the inside of his books.

As many times as he brought it up, there was an explanation for him. I love him, I always love him. I was not happy with the choice that he made to lie and sneak but I am not angry at him. If he does not do it again he would not lose his computer again.

We left the hotel, looked around Sleepy Hollow a bit, had lunch and headed home.

Monday was a holiday but the weekend was over, which meant his punishment was over. He double checked that fact with me and was extremely happy to hear that he was correct in his assumption. We were home all day on Monday and he was quite happy not to use his computer, because Monday is not “the weekend”. But he knew it was ON for the following Friday and I never heard another word about it.

(He understands the word “punishment” from Full House. I originally never used that word – that was all him)

#TBT……. and they cancelled Halloween (part two)

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

I re-posted part one last week as a #Tbt when we were in jeopardy of a pretty big storm hitting. It is only fitting to post part two this week.

Here you have it – October re-runs

….and they cancelled Halloween – Part Two

~As you may have read in Part One – during the “Halloween Nor’easter of 2011, we lost power on Saturday night, October 29th~ Now it was Monday.

Monday, morning came. It was Halloween and still no power. I regularly take Halloween off from work, so luckily we did not have anywhere to be. DC had his ‘un-toasted’ toast for breakfast. I realized in my fervor to find coffee the day before, I never had anything to eat (“The Storm Diet” was a ‘terrific’ diet while it lasted) – so I joined DC for some ‘untoasted toast’, went to work again on the ‘*RS Room’ and began mapping out a new coffee hunt.

Before we left on our coffee hunt, DC’s Dad showed up. He delivered a contraption that he made from a car battery. This was, in my opinion THE best thing ever! A place to charge phones, plugs for lights or whatever else I needed to plug in, although the coffee pot did not occur to me at the time, lights for DC, did.

The downside…… he wanted to take DC with him to his house. Now of course I want DC to be somewhere warm, with power, water and without a RS Room, but on the other hand, I don’t ever want DC and I to be separated during any sort of emergency type of situation; I just want him with me, plain and simple.

Now feeling very cut off from the world, I began my ‘coffee quest’ alone. The Dunkin Donuts I found the day before was no longer open. I stopped at a nearby hotel – knowing full well that there were no hotel rooms available in the state, but I was there, so I may as well check it out. I felt silly even asking and of course there was nothing available.

Tonya, Coach and I tried to keep tabs on each other during this whole fiasco, but with my phone not really working, it was difficult. Fortunately, Tonya called while I was still out driving. She called to say that another friend, Pat, had just had her power restored. She had invited us all to come for dinner and trick-or-treating in her neighborhood. Our kids trick-or-treating together has become somewhat of a tradition. No matter how many Halloween parties DC attends and no matter how many different costumes he gets to wear before Halloween, he still wants to wear a costume ON Halloween. I, for one was tired of the stares and comments when out trick-or-treating with an 18, 19, 20-year-old alone. Going out in a group just seems to work out better. I immediately called DC’s Dad and told him he could keep him there for the day, but he needed to be home at 5. He was not going to miss Halloween if I could help it and if Pat had her power back, it wouldn’t be long for us to have our power restored.

I kept myself occupied the rest of the afternoon alternating between working on the RS Room and searching for coffee. Finally DC came home. I got him into his costume while it was still light out. I have to say, we planned this costume well…… “Elf” complete with a snowy background.

DC was happy to see his friends, happy to be celebrating Halloween and happy to be somewhere with power. Pat and her neighbors were happy not to be stuck with all of the Halloween candy they had purchased ahead of time.

Elf, “Gabriella Montez” (from High School Musical), Sly Stallone and Pebbles were ready to hit the road for trick-or-treat. Surprisingly, almost every house was ready for this last-minute Halloween. Trick- or- Treating with snow on the ground was an experience they will not soon forget, I am sure. I will never forget it, for sure.

After covering the neighborhood, carrying full bags of candy, it was time to head home. I was still living under the delusion that this would be over by the time we arrived home that night – it was not. We piled on our “storm wardrobe”, comforters, blankets, etc. and went to sleep. I had to be back at work on Tuesday and when Tuesday morning arrived I still wasn’t sure that there was power at the office, but off we went. Driving to work, I realized that I was preoccupied with hanging branches. This preoccupation lasted for many months after this storm. Even now, when it is windy or stormy, I find myself watching the trees as I am driving.

There was power at the office and DC was able to sit and watch some movies on his laptop. I was just considering bringing him back there that night to sleep in my office, when my mother called. Her power was back so we made plans to go there.

The next two days went pretty much the same as Tuesday. Work, home, check for power, work on RS Room, pack some things and go to Grandma’s before it got dark.

In the morning – stop home, check for power, work on RS Room, go to work with DC. I really have to say that for a child so very afraid of storms, lightning, clouds, thunder and the power going out – he was a real trooper. I was proud of him. It was almost as if he was able to put his fears and the behavior that goes along with those fears on hold for the duration of this storm and aftermath.

On Thursday night at about 8pm, I called my landline – another thing I did regularly when we were out of the house, and the machine picked up! We had power!

My mother wanted us to wait until morning to leave but I could not think of anything else but getting the RS Room working and clean. DC was beside himself yelling, “My powers is back!” (DC-speak; his powers)

Home – RS Room fixed and clean – everything went quickly back to normal.

All but one party was rescheduled – our “cancelled Halloween” had become a weeklong event running into the second week of November.

Best Buddies held their party on the following weekend – Pebbles and Bam Bam attended – with “Gabriella Montez”, and Best Buddy, Steve of course.

Many of the surrounding towns officially cancelled Halloween and rescheduled it for the following week – our town did not. We did receive a flyer in our mailbox from a neighbor with young children asking that the neighborhood join in for an hour-long trick-or-treat on Saturday night. DC and I participated and then headed out to the next town over – where Halloween was officially rescheduled – to visit a friend and celebrate “Fake Halloween”.

We just happened to have one more unused costume set on-hand that we could not let go to waste.

“Yes, Captain Hammer’s here, hair blowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertise”*

Because “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do” * (and a Mom too)

I do understand that others had it much worse. My friend Steve had no power for 11 days. 11 Days!!!!! I would have had to just move away at that point. I hoped that because DC had gotten to the point during this whole ordeal where he seemed to be able to put his fears aside, that this new attitude would carry on through to the next storm – it did not.

School had been cancelled throughout this whole power outage. Between hurricane Irene in August and the Halloween nor’easter, all snow days had been used up for the school year and it was only early November.

On the UP side……….. I did loose 5 pounds on the Halloween nor’easter diet and I did get one of those store-bought contraptions from DC’s dad for Christmas that year.

It does have to be charged every few months and each time it comes out, DC gets nervous.

…….

*RS Room – Raw Sewage Room

(*Joss Whedon’s “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog – 2008)

“No Jim Dear”…. (shhhh… it just may be)

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

In an earlier post I wrote about the “Jim Dear” derby hat and how after many years of asking to be “Jim Dear” for Halloween, he decided against it – after I had purchased the hat and picked out a few steampunk suit options to surprise him.

Last night we attended the 50th Anniversary Gala for the summer camp that DC attends. DC loves to wear a suit so he was all for it.
After running up the stairs a good 3 to 4 times to “look in the mirror” and admire his handsome self – he came down wearing the “Jim Dear” Hat!

hmmmm…

He ran back up to look in the mirror a few more times and returned with a moustache request. Much like his beloved Band-Aids, stick-on moustaches are another staple in our household.

I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted.

hmmmmm..

All-righty then, the moustache, it is! I was hoping that he would decide to take it off before we arrived at the party.

He did not.

He wore it a good long time. He received many compliments on his moustache and was very happy with the attention. When we were still at home, he would not tell me who he was supposed to be but as soon as someone at the party asked him if his name was Charlie (Chaplin); he promptly corrected them “No, Jim Dear!”

with Grandma

He did eventually take it off when it started to get itchy more than halfway through the event.

It is October.

He wore the hat.

He added the moustache.

Jim Dear?……………..Yes, this year.

I guess it just had to be his idea.

Good enough for me.

I will take it!

#TBT ….and they cancelled Halloween (Part One)

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

It is October 1st and there are storms approaching – Appropriate Post for ‪#‎ThrowbackThursday‬ .

….and they cancelled Halloween (Part One)

(In a recent post, Second Star to the right……. and hang a left, written about our ‘escape’ from hurricane Irene, I mentioned that we were not as lucky a few months later)

It was Friday, October 28, 2011 we were gearing up for a marathon Halloween weekend. Now, I can be a lot of pressure on Halloween, I know this, but my friends seem to put up with it and fortunately DC loves Halloween as much as I do, so the “pressure” is not too much for him; he enjoys it.

On Friday night we met my friend Coach and her daughter, Candy at the haunted mansion. The ‘kids’ looked quite terrified, but they made it through. DC, although he looked like he was about to fall apart, wanted to go again, while Candy decided to sit out the second go-round.

Coach, Candy, DC and I met Doug at a local diner for dinner afterwards. Doug was leaving that night for another leg of his quest to golf in all 50 states. He would be away for more than a week.

After dinner we all went home to get prepared for the 3 party marathon we had scheduled for the following day, one more on Sunday and then of course, Monday was Halloween. Usually the parties are spaced out a little more, but this year they were all crammed into the same weekend. It took a lot of planning costume-wise. The parties were back to back, and DC has grown accustomed to having a different costume for each party and another for Halloween itself (I love this child!!!) so I had to plan the best way for him to make quick changes between each party.

Saturday was a beautiful sunny day. I took this photo at noon outside the house right before we left to meet Tonya and DC’s friend, Salli at their house to begin our marathon.

As soon as we arrived, Tonya told me that her husband, Rick mentioned that the weather people were predicting snow; heavy snow. He warned that it could get really bad out on the roads and there still being leaves on the trees, may make matters worse.

What????

It’s October!

How much snow could we possibly get in October?

(We totally missed the “leaves are still on the trees”, point – What could that possibly have to do with anything?)

We decided that he didn’t know what he was talking about and even if he did – the sun was still partially shining – this probably would not even begin until much later in the day. We were used to the weather people making a mountain out of a mole hill, so we decided to go full speed ahead with our party plans.

It took only 30 minutes to arrive at Camp for the party. The change in the weather in those 30 minutes was drastic!

The snow was really coming down!

Still in denial about all of this….How long could this possibly last – It is October! We went inside and joined the rest of the party-goers that were probably in much denial as we were. It seemed as though everyone that RSVP’d attended and no one left early. It IS October, after all.

We met up with Coach, Candy, Katie and her daughter, Kate (who was dressed as Ariel; this made DC’s day). No one seemed overly concerned about the snow, the party went on as if nothing was going on and we really intended on moving on to the next two parties…..
until we had to get back on the road, that is….

Okay, so maybe we should skip the other parties – they had already been cancelled at this point, we just did not know that.

Katie and Kate witnessed a terrible accident on their way home, but made it home safely. Coach and Candy got home safely as well. We arrived at Tonya’s house to find her son in the driveway, looking at the very large tree branch that had fallen on his car. Okay – got it – “leaves still on the trees” – it finally clicked. Their power was out. Tonya went into panic mode (panic mode is usually my role – Tonya is normally relatively calm about everything) – yelling at everyone to get out of the driveway and out from under the other low-hanging branches. Her son, on the other hand, looked relatively calm about the branch laying on his car. DC and I got into my car which was parked under another very large, now very low-hanging branch and started home.

Okay, allright, I’ll say it…….. Rick was right.

We live only one mile from Tonya’s house but it took us 45 minutes to get home. DC was stimming wildly and scripting loudly about the power – his worst fear – all the way.

We made it home and YES we had power, a little unbelievable as our neighborhood seems to lose power quite often, but we did have power and we were thrilled.

Home safely, WITH power, DC and I went about our normal routine assuming that all of this would be over by morning. Within 45 minutes of our arrival home, the power went out. DC was screaming from the bathroom, I told him to stay there, got a flashlight and went up to get him. I hunted about for more flashlights, got DC’s pillow and blankets and brought them down to the living room. THIS IS THE MOMENT, right here that the “sleeping on the couch” situation began. 3 years later, we are still sleeping on the couch most nights.

It was early but I tried to convince DC to try to go to sleep and the power would surely be back by time we woke up – I really believed that, I really did. Of course I had to stay right there on the other side of the couch, so I tried to get some sleep as well.

We woke up on Sunday morning and still no power. Still convinced it would be back soon, DC had breakfast, under protest. Even though losing power is one of the things he obsesses about, he just can not understand that I can not make toast. He can have bread with Peanut Butter (something he ate everyday for lunch), but it was morning and mornings are for toast, not bread. There was plenty of other non-refrigerated items that he could have, but no, he HAD to have toast. He finally gave in and had some “un-toasted” toast and we set out to find coffee.

My landline was down, my cell was only working sporadically. Most of the time, I had to drive to the center of town to get any reception at all. We kept taking short trips throughout the day in search of coffee. I didn’t want to drive too far as with no information to be had, I never knew what we’d be driving into, but on the other hand I needed coffee and DC needed something to do. He loves to and will read his books for hours, normally, but not during a power outage – he is just much too distracted and upset to do any of the things he normally would do. I have driven him around for hours in the past when we had an outage, but this was different, there was really nowhere to go, trees and branches were still falling and I didn’t want to waste gas. I didn’t know where we would find an open gas station.

It was a very odd and unsettling feeling not really knowing what was going on out there. I felt cut off from the world. Between feeling cut off and my “dropping dead and how long will DC be alone before anyone knows?” obsession – I was not having a good time.

The day was spent, dealing with what I affectionately named the “raw sewage room” -RS Room for short – (Did I forget to mention that DC clogged the toilet the very second that the power went out? Did I forget that?) – and taking quick, not too long trips to find coffee. I did finally find a Dunkin Donuts (because apparently I always do) open at about 4pm. They did not have power and were just about out of everything but coffee was still available. I’m not quite sure why or how they still had relatively hot coffee available with no power and I did not ask; I ordered the bucket size.

At this point, DC was no longer fixated on the power coming back, he was just defeated, very quiet, no emotion, just going through the motions. We got ready for the night to come, I made another attempt at fixing the “RS room’, we read for a while and went to bed. Worried about the cold, I had DC wearing thermal underwear, thermal socks, slippers and his very heavy robe. I began piling blankets and comforters on us and at the point when he had just about enough, he yelled, “Mom! I don’t want to be warm!” – of course he wanted to be warm, but it was his way of telling me that I was putting way too much stuff on him.

Monday, morning came. It was Halloween – and still no power. Halloween was looking grim!

To be continued in “and they cancelled Halloween- Part 2”

A Conversation – “The Training School” revisited

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Recently I wrote a post about a training school. I was a little apprehensive about writing the post because I know my friend Beth has had to place her son in a residential program for behavioral issues and safety. I know that there is a difference between an Institution (as the one in the late 60’s, described in the post) a Group Home and a Residential Program. I know she is trying to do what is best for her son and her family. I also know that she has to endure quite a lot of abuse from other parents about having to place her son in the program. Many treat her as though she is institutionalizing him or locking him away. This is hardly the case. She is trying to do what is best for her child with the minimal supports that are open to her in the rural area where she and her family live.

I know that this is not the situation she was hoping for, but in order to help her son and her family this was the only real choice that she had. She wanted to get the proper help for her son that they could not – try as they might – provide for him. She wants what every parent wants, a chance at a better life for him. This was not a decision she was happy about making, believe me – but she believes that this program is what is best for her son and her family right now. At this moment he needs more help than they can provide at home or in school.

I know that we can not judge other people’s children based on what we know about our own child’s Autism. To use the phrase once again – (I have used it plenty and I wish I knew where it originated) “If you meet one person with Autism, you have met one person with Autism.”

Beth and I had a conversation after I published that piece. Although I understand where she is coming from, she knows full well that many people do not. She agreed to let me use our conversation in the hopes that it may help people understand her situation. It was difficult enough for her family to have to make this decision without enduring the added pressure of other’s opinions.

Beth: “Unfortunately, it is still the only option for many parents to have their kids live elsewhere. If it wasn’t for my son’s aggression and property destruction, he would be living at home.

If there were better supports for people with disabilities to be able to stay in their homes and communities we would not need places like group homes and residential schools. The difference from back then <the time frame from the post> and now is probably the ‘reason’ for the placement. Now, it is usually a last resort after trying to support the person at home or because their needs are many and too complex to be supported at home.

Many people do not make the distinction from the training school/institution that you wrote about to the program my son is in. I have had so many other parents tell me they would never do “that” to their child. There are some horrible group homes and residential programs, not much different than an institution, just in a different location and given another name. There still needs to be a lot of change in providing better public school programs and home supports. We still have a long way to go in properly supporting disabled people in their homes and community. If that were happening we would not have had to outplace him like this”.

Me: Believe me, you were on my mind while I was writing it. You haven’t ‘done” anything to your child, you are doing what you hope is best for him and your family; because the rest of your family should matter as well. I agree, that people still do not make the distinction and there IS a difference, I know that. I wish more people did. I absolutely agree that there should be more home supports and school supports in place even if you do not live where it is convenient for people to get to. I would like to use this conversation in a post. I think the distinction needs to be made and can be made better by someone in your situation.

Beth: “That would be fine. I am doing my best to DE stigmatize the placing of a child in a residential school or group home. That is why I share our experience on Instagram. Too many people live in dangerous and unhealthy situations with their disabled loved one because they fear what will happen when they place them.”

Beth lives in a rural area where the school system could not provide the support that her son needed. They could not get or keep support in the home due to the distance many of the support people would have to travel. Many people are not in the position to pack up and move into an area with better supports in place. They visit him quite often. She is in constant contact with the staff and her son. He comes home for visits as often and for as long as he can handle. The goal here is to get him the help that he needs so he will be able to come home for good one day. To help him manage his anxiety and aggression so that he can come home.

They want him to come home…..

Pit Stop

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

A few days ago, DC was ready and waiting for his transportation to arrive to bring him to work. I was getting ready for work as well. The car arrived a little bit earlier than usual with a substitute driver. DC left and I went back to getting ready. Normally I leave for work about 5 minutes after the car leaves, but because it arrived early and I was not completely ready, it took another 15 minutes to get out of the door.

My car was parked in the driveway behind the house so you can not see it from the front of the house. I drove out, rounded the corner and headed up the driveway to find his transportation car at the top of the driveway. My initial reaction was one of panic. I was sure that something was wrong, but the driver was just sitting in the car. Then I noticed that DC was already getting out of the car so my next thought was that he decided he had to use the restroom. I got out of my car and asked what was wrong. The driver told me that he had forgotten his water bottle and was so obsessed about it, she felt she HAD to bring him back to get it. She was hoping that I would still be home. Granted, I am happy that he is so aware of his hydration and so attached to his water bottle. Drinking water was not at the top of his list a few months ago, it was always a battle so I am glad that it has moved up a few rungs on the ladder. Coincidently the one and only time he forgot to bring his water bottle to work since his first seizure (I was at the time convinced it was due to heat), just happened to be the day he had his second seizure – hmmmm. I don’t know if he put that together in his mind or if this is just a straight out ‘regular’ obsession, but he does not want to be without it at work.

Now there have been plenty of times when DC was still in school that he tried to get his school bus drivers to stop so he could run into a random house to use the bathroom. (There have also been times, not so long ago while out for a walk when I had to chase him as he was running up some strangers sidewalk towards the door because he decided that he had to use the restroom). I know how he can be when he forgets something as well. The driver said he kept poking her on her shoulder from the back seat. I get it. But, his school bus drivers, when they knew they had to bring him back home, would always call me to see if I was still home or if I could turn around and come back to meet him. This driver did not try to call and was making no attempt to even get out of the car. I wonder just how, from the driver’s seat with the car running was she going to check to see if I was home? You can not see my car from the front. She did not get out of the car – she just let him out and as I said, under normal circumstances, I would have been gone.

Hopefully in the future someone will call me – yes, I made that clear – very clear.

So how would this particular scenario have played out had I not have been there, you ask? I know exactly how it would have gone.

– DC would have let himself into the house to get his water bottle.

– DC would have left the front door wide open upon exiting the house and returning to the car; prompting the driver to ask if Mom was home. (He never closes the door on the way out, only on the way in – I do not know why.)

– “Yes”, would have been the response – his standard reply to almost any question.

– Driver would have driven away leaving my front door not only unlocked but wide open all day.

– Later that afternoon – assuming all of my possessions were still in the house , his after-work aide would have called to inform me that he found the front door wide open.

– Me, never knowing or hearing about the forgotten water bottle retrieval mission that morning from DC or anyone else, would have assumed that I had forgotten to close the door (even though I distinctly remembered doing it).

– Adding further fuel to the notion that I am losing my mind.

*****

Just an FYI – DC is 24. After years and years of training (a topic for another post) he is and has been able to get into the house himself after work. He has either me or staff there but there may be times when someone might be stuck in traffic or late for some other reason and before he had staff, I was always in a race with the bus. I wanted him to be able to get in, lock the door, call me and wait for me or his aide. Since he began having seizures, I do not want him alone for even a few minutes. My point here is – you don’t bring him home with out calling me or letting me know.

“Jim Dear?” – Not this year….

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

So Halloween is upon us. It is already September and we are a little bit behind schedule this year. We usually have our costumes chosen and purchased in August. We did pick out our “official” Halloween night costumes way back in April or May so we are not 100% behind, but we are still behind. There are plenty of parties to attend for which DC must have different costumes (gotta love this boy!).

Okay maybe we like Halloween just a little teeny tiny bit -but we’re not obsessed or anything….

Last week we discussed what party costumes he wanted to wear this ‘Holiday’ season. This is always a little bit of a challenge. At times the costumes that DC requests are just people that he likes who happen to be wearing regular everyday clothing, or it is an obscure character that nobody knows but him (he might get that from me). Most of the time there is no such costume available so my mission is to come up with something or make up something that at least in his mind, makes the point.

The one costume that continues to make the list from the time DC was very young is “Jim Dear” from Lady and the Tramp.

(sigh….) A man in a suit…..

Not my idea of a Halloween costume, but – this is not about me….

……not ALL about be, anyway.

But, this year I was prepared.

Last October we attended a fundraiser/gala with Tony Orlando. The gala had a 1940’s theme. It was not a costume party, it was a theme, but in keeping with DC’s love of costumes, I bought him a 40’s style hat to wear with his suit. There was also the added incentive to get him excited about going to the event of calling the hat and suit a costume. While I was shopping for said hat, I came across a derby style hat that closely resembles the hat that “Jim Dear” wears. I purchased that to save for this year.

While looking for items to make a “Timekeeper – Spy Kids – All The Time in the World” (yes, we must use the proper and entire title) costume last year I came across a tremendous amount of steampunk costumes. I discovered them too late for last years’ costumes (they had already been chosen and we can’t mess around with the costume line-up) but I knew that they would be a great option for this year.

2015 would finally be the year of “Jim Dear”.

I had everything ready when we sat down to choose his costumes. I had a choice of two suits up on the screen, I had a few options for “Lady” stuffed animals for him to carry. I even found a “Tramp”…. and I had the hat. I was excited because I knew that he would be so excited when he saw that one of his costumes would be “Jim Dear”. I saved the surprise costume for last.

He chose a Disney Character – surprise! He also chose a character from a television show – whoo hoo! – a current television show – bigger whoo hoo! When we had only one more to pick, I started to wonder why he hadn’t yet brought up “Jim Dear”. I thought he may have been so overwhelmed by looking at all of the other costumes that it had just slipped his mind, so I opened up the windows that I had saved, expecting him to be over the moon….

He said “No! No, Jim Dear!”

What ?!?

“No, Jim Dear!”

I asked him again just to be sure he was not confused, I showed him the hat that I already bought. I showed him the photos of the suits and stuffed animals – “NO! Jim Dear!”

sigh…….

Anyone in need of a black derby hat complete with decorative feather?

– in great condition – never been worn….

“Funny Friday” Night

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Jokes…… not really a concept that DC understands most of the time. There are things that he finds funny when he is watching a movie or reading a book and physical comedy, of course is very funny to him – but to tell a joke and understand why it is funny is not always in his realm of understanding. He is very literal and jokes are oftentimes very abstract. Not to say that he does not spend a good part of his time laughing – he does. I rarely know what he is laughing at and he, for the most part can not explain just what is so funny. It is just the things that are going on in his head.

There are times when he does surprise me…

As I am sitting here listening to him laugh at a scene from “The Big Comfy Couch” on YouTube – the same scene over and over and over again – and I am reminded of a time that he not only surprised me but his teachers as well.

Below is a post from two years ago about a that day. Since we seem to be having a funny Friday night here (over and over and over again), I decided it was as good a time as any to re-post……

******

“Funny Friday”

For the two years after “Graduation” DC attended a transition program through the school system at a local college.

I was visiting the school for a class event, one Friday afternoon and his teacher, “Mr. Disney” (as DC calls him) excitedly came over to me and asked “Did you help him with his jokes today?” Not knowing what he was talking about, I said “No, what jokes?” One of the IA’s (“Para’s” to some of you) chimed in to tell me that he had told 3 jokes for “Funny Friday” that morning.

Mr. Disney went on to tell me that every Friday is “Funny Friday” and all of the students tell their favorite jokes at the morning meeting.

Okay…. Let’s pause here for a moment……

I don’t know how long (or if ever) it will take before anyone will understand that HE IS NOT GOING TO COME HOME AND TELL ME THESE THINGS! If someone else does not tell me, I am not going to know. If I had known about “Funny Friday” I would have helped him with some jokes, but unfortunately I was never told.

I was surprised that he actually TOLD a joke because DC’s idea of a joke – and it’s always the same – is:

“Ha, Ha, Ha! Funny Joke!”

Me: “What’s the joke, Bud?”

“Monster!”

(Insert “cricket” sound here – that is it)

They proceeded to tell me the jokes he told that morning. He told them properly complete with a bow and…. they were actually funny – real jokes!

“Why did Bo Peep pour chocolate on her sheep?”

“She wanted a chocolate BAAAAAAAAR”

“Why can’t Cinderella play Soccer?”

“Because she ran away from the ball”

“What do they call a Fairy that doesn’t take a bath for a month?”

“Stinker-Bell”

He told honest – to – goodness JOKES! After years of “Monster”, he actually told, not one joke, but three and UNDERSTOOD why they were funny!

Later, I ran into the Interim Dean of Health Sciences, of the college who couldn’t wait to tell me about the three jokes that DC shared that morning. Everyone was very impressed, to say the least!

Still I had no idea where he found these jokes.

About a week later, “Mr. Disney” finally got DC to tell him where he found his material.

Actually, he showed him……

After asking him all week, DC went to the computer, typed “Disney jokes” in the search engine and found a web-site full of Disney jokes.

He memorized them and had them ready for “Funny Friday”!

He was able to figure out on his own that “Monster” wasn’t cutting it for “Funny Friday” and he needed better jokes. He went about finding them himself, remembered them and had them ready for Friday!

“Monster” ?? Still his favorite joke.

(Graduation – I do not know what it is like everywhere else, but here school-age for SPED is 3 to 21 years. DC “graduated” from the High School after spending 4 years there. Having two years left of school, after his senior year – the options were to let him stay at the High School or to have him outplaced into an appropriate transition program. Fortunately the town put together this transition program right before DC was ready to graduate.)