and still more Short Stories

Below are some “short stories” (statuses) that have been posted on my own and my public Facebook pages – too short to qualify as a blog post, although many have turned out to be the inspiration for an official blog post. You may have seen a few of these before, probably not all though. Some are recent, others are old “Facebook Memories” (love that!).

This is one of those posts that I put together and save to post later when we are away or when I am really busy and really don’t have the time to write. Like the “Blog Title Series” (Series? Yes, there’s more), they are very often off topic or “fluff”. I like fluff, sometimes fluff is fun. 

DC taking a bow at Best Buddies Karaoke today. “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” – Anyone shocked at that selection? Thanks for the picture, Steve!




DC’s been dancing and singing since 7am “I like to be in ‘Mary – Ka’ “. He’s ready for West Side Story today!


It’s a Cinderella Halloween Wedding! “Do you take this man to be your Wedding Wedding husband?”


Good Morning and Happy Halloween! (Song from “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”)


He came back with Bread and only Bread.



The DR also loves wings (Giving up the “fish fingers and custard” for the evening)

fish fingers



It is now time for us to stand uncomfortably around the staff room for the third cake of the week.


Official review is in: DC is giving #peterpanlive a “two eyes closed” and that means I can be done with this!

two eyes closed

(He did totally love it on DVD without the commercials)


I have completely lost my voice. As much as I am sure that many people are happy about this – DC, on the other hand has been pretty freaked out.

He’s “very nervous about this”

I cant hear you


“Mom! I am so exciting for Friday is Christmas Eve!”

(I gave up explaining that Christmas Eve is Thursday, early on – I think he really means “Christmas” anyway)

Me: Yes you are!

“Work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday! No work ‘Firsday’ and Friday, Please!”

Me: No, no work Thursday and Friday, don’t worry.


Me: No, no work – don’t worry.

(30 seconds later)

“Mom! I am so exciting for Friday is Christmas Eve!”

Me: Okay.

“Work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday! No work ‘Firsday’ and Friday, Please!”

Me: No, no work Thursday and Friday, don’t worry.


Me: no, I told you, no work.

(Repeat 700 times)

How was your day?


Too many things needed to be charged tonight so I unplugged the lamp in the living room downstairs where no one is or will be until morning (one of three lamps) – This is what is keeping him awake tonight. “The Lamp- Unplugged”

“Vickie, I got the most “skata-brand*” idea!” ~ Hayley Mills ~ The Trouble with Angels~ (and no, I still have not been informed of what that idea might be) …


So DC had “Secret Breakfast” this morning, but he asked for it with BACON. I voted “no” on that one because “That would be ‘dis-dust-ing’ “

and even more Short Stories

or…. Short Stories; the Threequel… (or… “Fluff” because it’s been a busy month)

Below are some “short stories” (statuses) that have been posted on my own and my public Facebook pages (Instagram too) – too short to qualify for a blog post, although many have turned out to be the inspiration for an official blog post. You may have seen a few of these before, probably not all though.

San Francisco 168

Should have landed home  at 12:35 pm Thursday. 13 Hours later, we made it! “There’s no place like home”.


Just watched DC trying to get on the bus w/out smashing 5 bouquets of flowers for his teachers – we’ll see if they make it…….not one of my better ideas.

Even though we were in the blazing sun – he couldn’t get past those dark clouds – we didn’t get very far….


BB and DC testing the Bertie Bot flavors on the way home from Salem.



Taking DC to NY tomorrow to see “Bye Bye Birdie” (one of his favs) and the bonus…….. “Uncle Jessie” (John Stamos from another of his favorites, Full House) is in it. He is very excited! Doug, on the other hand, is attending under protest; already practicing and perfecting the eye rolling, heavy sighs…….




Just lost another 10 years of my life; DC fell off the horse. He’s okay, I may never be.






DC had a great time “Ghost Hunting” at the “shemitury” (DC speak) with BB tonight (both in full TAPS gear)



Lost power at 4am (Mr. “No Storm Today” knew the instant it went off), it just came back. Long morning driving him around until it came back on – Before resorting to driving him around I did try for a couple of hours to get him back to sleep but who can sleep  with “Waiting!” being yelled at you continuously. When I told him to please stop yelling, he moved on to spelling it. When that didn’t work  he moved on to sign language (yes, it is quieter, but of course he had to poke me each time so I could see him signing)!



Yes, it’s June but DC has already picked his Halloween Costume and it is on order. A little ahead of schedule this year, we usually wait until August 🙂 . We LOVE Halloween, in case that isn’t apparent to you all.




“Pretty Maids All In A Row”

Pretty Maids All In A Row












Because no is allowed to sit in his chair in the kitchen (even if he is not in it) or his “spot” on the couch, I thought we’d make it official #BigBang

my spot










STOP THE PRESSES! DC is at an Arc activity with his “Arc Friends” and he is eating Lasagna!



Sitting in the waiting room for DC’s scheduled DR. Appointment this morning and watching Disney Jr. Mickey Mouse Club House to be exact. We were called in before the dreaded “Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog” song came on and yet it is still stuck in my head…… Now it’s stuck in yours. You are welcome.




Waitress: how do you want your burger?
DC: Good!








Poor deprived boy, they don’t have wings. He’ll have to settle for ribs…. Sigh

wings none







After losing his computer/DVD privileges last weekend, he is preparing his list for this Friday. “Movie Adventures” is what he is calling his upcoming Friday night (yes, I am still sick and sound like a man)


Still trying to get to watch the first episode of The Walking Dead, but I have it on good authority that Rick and DC may share the same Band-aide obsession.

zombie bandaids










Robin Hood found himself a princess. He was excited….. for awhile. She dragged him around the dance floor for quite some time. DC apparently not wanting to hurt her feelings (or needing Mom to fight his battles) yelled to me “Mom! My arm is bothering you” (translation – She is holding my arm and it is bothering me) each time they passed by. I guess having a princess on one’s arm can get old, even for DC.







And forever my favorite……..


“Mom, I look ‘Dora-bull’ ” -(no lack of confidence there)




More short stories

or…. “Short Stories; the Sequel”

Below are some “short stories” (statuses) that have been posted on my own and my public Facebook pages – too short to qualify for a blog post, although many have turned out to be the inspiration for an official blog post. You may have seen a few of these before, probably not all though.


I am in desperate need of a haircut so I have resorted to wearing a headband for the last couple of days – yes, it is THAT bad. The headband, like anything different with my hair was not going over well with DC.

“Take head—band off!”“Mom, your hair is a ‘de-aster” (he loves to use that one). There were many times that he just tried to grab it right off my head. Today, as I was on the phone not wearing a headband he apparently decided that I needed it and started trying to shove one on my head over the telephone. #ICantWin


IMG_1161I told him it was very late and he needed to get to bed – it is after midnight. Realizing it was now Nov. 1st – he could not go to sleep until all of the calendars were changed.






I told DC that he had to get dressed up for the party tonight……. “No!!! No Dresses!”






tshirtT-shirt day at camp… “It’s a major award”




eegDC went for his EEG today. I was having a hard time explaining it to him beforehand so my friend sent a pic of her daughter (DC’s good friend) smiling during her EEG. I think it made him feel better. He did a great job today. I was very proud of him and he was very proud of himself!




listDC is now resorting to leaving his shopping list in my purse – found this when I got to work this morning. (I really don’t think I need a list, he asks for the same things every time)








what did you do in londonSecond order of business – “computer” because this is all I have been been hearing about all  day on the train. #AndWhatDidYOUDoInLondon





flowersAnd….. I got my first dandelion bouquet of the season!






messNew Band-Aid supply – I wonder who gets to clean this up?









easterIn anticipation of the Easter Bunny, I suppose… DC went to bed at 9:00! Seriously, 9:00! Happy Easter!






cubesThe ‪#‎Drwho ice cubes were just eh. But we can also use the trays for candy, so we’ll try that next time







pjsIt turns out that the new ‪#‎DrWho pajamas are a bit too tight. Next size up is on the way, but since he won’t take them off, these can’t be returned. Happy almost birthday to me as I will be the proud owner of this set😃….eventually






Yesterday was DC’s last day of camp. The last day is also always “Awards Day”. When DC came home I asked him if he got an award. He said he did. He didn’t have anything with him so I asked him where it was – “At the camp”. (I don’t know if he actually won an award). I asked him what award he won…..
“Best Camp Ever!”





Enchanted is on the Family Channel this morning. He won’t sit down and watch it because it is the weekend and weekends are for his computer. So here he is searching through his DVD’s that are filed in a filing system that is understood by no one but him, for Enchanted – so he can watch it on the computer. Happy Saturday!








artBand-Aide art










We might be a little bit obsessed…





FullSizeRender2HE DID IT! 40 minutes!!! You do not know what a big deal this is! I thought we were done for when I heard 40 minutes (and an IV which nobody told me about) – it was shaky but he did it! – first stop – Wings!
He is sooooo proud of himself!




dudeExtremely annoyed at DC’s IP (no “E” – he is out of school)
“Dude, What! Are you kidding me?”
Dude???? I called his caseworker “Dude” …Dude…..
I don’t even know where that came from but I am sure it is still 100% better than the “colorful metaphors” I had rolling around in my head at the time….


DC, always obsessed with Ella’s letter to Prince Char -he recites it often word for word –  decided he needed to write it all down. He only needed help spelling “solution”.

15 - 1






DC went to an ARC activity tonight – dinner at a Chinese Restaurant. Yes, he won’t eat Chinese food, but usually he can find some chicken or wings or something….
Unfortunately he found none of those so dinner there consisted of jelly beans, fruit and ice cream. Yep, this is him “making” himself a bowl of jelly beans.

arc ice cream






whoopie pie

One of the highlights of our “looking around day” (day trip – to the rest of the world) on Sunday was the giant whoopee pie WITH confectionery sugar!






IMG_1162He announced that he was going to shave “all by myself” ( translation: “stop following me, Mom“) – taking a picture to cover up the fact that I’m following, is not really following, right?




Happy Wednesday!

More from the Funny Pages

funny pages

Once again I am heading back to an old website my friends and I used to run a good long while back. I have used some of the blurbs and stories from that page in two other posts: All the….. small things and We sure do have some stories, don’t we? The first was one of my most popular posts in the month of April, the second was relatively popular as well, so I decided to use the remaining stories/funnies in one more post.

“Some of the following blurbs are mine (DC was very young at the time) and some are from friends of mine  but all of them show us that there is always humor to be found. We might at times learn something valuable – but most of the time it is just plain funny.”

Random Themes

A “Serious” Combination
My girls hate vegetables. Being a good “mother” I insist that they have to have two vegetables during dinner.
Tonight my younger daughter was sitting there pondering her meal and playing with the vegetables she is supposed to be eating. She quietly put a couple kernels of corn on her fork then added some peas along with them.
She held the fork up to me and asked…..
(Peas + Corn = PORN)!!!
Several years from now, I will have to explain what my husband and I were laughing so hysterically about!

My son, who was non-verbal until he was seven, still uses his sign language often. He gave his sign language teacher and one of my friends an ornament of the “I LOVE YOU” sign as a Christmas gift. I – assuming that the “I love you” sign was pretty much universal, was surprised when my friend thanked him for the “Rock On!” ornament!

One day I had to take my son for what would be a very long doctor appointment. The parking area was one where you paid the parking attendant in the booth near the entrance to the building, not in the lot itself.
It was pouring rain when we went in but we were in the office for so long, that the rain stopped by the time we came out.
I was standing at the parking attendant’s booth counting change to pay for our parking before we walked to the car. As I was counting my son began to yell, “Hurry Up, Mom!” – I noticed the attendant laughing and I turned to see my son standing directly under a drainpipe – water pouring directly down on his head!
He thought it was still raining!
I said “*Bob, move over” – confused, he moved, put his hands out to check for rain and said “Oh”.

Children hear and remember everything (especially when you think they are not listening)
When a teacher turns to her assistant and says “It’s so hot in here, I’m dying.” you can guarantee that at least one student will go home in tears to tell his/her parents that Mrs. Blank is dying. It was time for a Parent-Teacher meeting anyway.

When his “Step Dad” tells him jokingly “P.U. you stink! Time to take a bath”, please understand that you will get a note home from school the following day informing you that your son was telling everyone he encountered “P.U. – You Stink!”

You can NEVER anticipate what will come out of their mouths!
While in line at a crowded grocery store, your child decides to recite a line from a favorite movie (something he does on a regular basis) – “Please don’t send me back! I like it here!” (Disney’s Summer Magic)

It is never too crowded a place to announce anything regarding bodily functions:
While shopping at the Disney Store, your 12 year is asked by his “Step Dad” if he would be able to wait a few minutes to go find a restroom. He proceeds to yell at the top of his lungs “POOP!” ……………I guess that would be a “no”.

My son wrote “baby” on his Christmas list to Santa.
Thinking he wanted another baby doll this year, I asked what kind he wanted
(I let that go).
Later I noticed he added “GIRL” to his list.

My Daughter came home today and told me that she had to do a writing prompt – the subject: What do you dislike?
Her opening sentence (a grabber for sure) was:
“Do you get hit everyday? I do, and I don’t like it.”
I could just envision the school calling DCF immediately!
All I could mutter was,…..OH MY GOD!………………….
Then she proceeded to tell me that she wrote about her Special Needs brother’s habit of hitting because he thinks it is funny, which was partially her fault because she would let him do it to make him laugh. She understands that he can not help it and she still loves him very much.

That, right there is the best way to end any post.

We sure do have some stories, don’t we?


Last month I wrote a post All the….small things, based on a conversation with a friend of mine that included snippets from an old website we used to run. It turned out to be my most popular post in April.  As I was trying to get a few posts written and scheduled ahead of time to run while we were away on vacation and for the very busy week I expected after we arrived home, I decided to go back to the old website and post a few more snippets on an array of different subjects…. but mostly just plain funny stories.

“Some of the following blurbs are mine (DC was very young at the time) and some are from friends of mine”  but all of them show us that yes, we are all crawling in the dark at times – we certainly were back then and really still are to some extent – but there is always humor to be found. We might at times learn something valuable – but most of the time it is just plain funny.

More on Clothing Issues:

You don’t wear your clothes in the pool. If Mom says it’s okay to go in because we forgot the bathing suit (meaning it is okay to go in with your shorts on) you take off all of your clothes (in front of more than 20 people) faster than she can get up to stop you – and go in naked.

 You don’t wear your shoes in the water, so water shoes are out of the question.

You don’t go outside with your Pajama’s on, not even just to step out on to the porch to hold the door open for someone as they are pleading with you to hold the door while carrying the largest poinsettia plant ever grown. – Forget it if there happens to be a fire!

 Literally Speaking:

 My 6 year old plays on a T-ball league for children with special needs. The Coach, in his infinite wisdom, coaching a bunch of 6 year olds who have probably never played baseball before – continued to yell “Choke Up”. My son proceeded to clear his throat each time the Coach gave this direction!

A Kindergartner whose family was moving out of the school district mid-year, wrote a good-bye letter to her teacher. She wanted to tell her how much she will miss her. They had been working very hard on sounding out words in class so she sounded out her letter to her favorite teacher, Mrs. Sheat. She began with: 

“Deer Mrs SH#T”(use your imagination)………

 My son and I were in the kitchen picking out one of those little boxes of cereal to take on a long car ride.  When we came across “Honey Smacks”, he wondered out loud, “Why don’t they call those butt smacks – those hiney smacks…..?”  Needless to say I could not speak – I was convulsed with laughter – I had never realized that he thought the word “Honey” was “Hiney” all this time.  But I could see how he came to that conclusion after examining the picture of the cereal on the box!


 Random Funnies:

While driving to church at Christmas time, my daughter decided it was not fair that Christmas was only one day while Hanukah was eight full days.

“Mom, why can’t we be Jewish?”.

My second daughter piped in immediately “We can’t be Jewish! We’re decaffeinated!”

My son likes to help. At times he can become overly helpful…… the time he removed all the bamboo stakes from the tomato plants (all twenty of them,) and put the stakes back in the shed where they belong, vines and all.

or…. the time he decided to “weed” the vegetable bed and pulled everything out – weeds, veggies, everything green –  then proceeded to dispose of them in the swimming pool…clumps of dirt and all.

He will also dismantle any rock wall I construct and move the rocks to their original pile in back of the shed.

Recently while grocery shopping I asked my son, to get me some orange juice. Feeling so proud that I would ask him – off he went (with his older brother just a few short steps behind him). As his brother watched in amazement, my youngest son climbed up into the cooler and stretched his arm out so far as if he was searching for something. When my oldest son came to his aid he asked “what are you doing in the cooler with your hand stuck in there?” His reply was “I’m trying to reach Florida”  – TV Strikes Again….

My son was dying to be in the Christmas play at our church. He got the part of one of the Three Kings.

Apparently he did not understand that he had to stand on the stage in front of the whole church when he took the part, until the night they were getting ready to perform. He tried to beg out at the last minute, but his father insisted that he perform.

My son searched for the largest crown he could find. When he took the stage, he stood there with the crown down over his face to his neck, throughout the entire play.


Many thanks to all of my friends that contributed so many years ago.