Cinderella, Santa, Haunted Houses and other “Scary Stuff” (or: Vacation debacles that worked out somehow)

A few years back…. well, probably more than just a few, we took a trip to Lake George. I remember going there as a kid. I remember Story Town, which we discovered when we arrived was now just a small part of The Great Escape Amusement Park. I remembered the North Pole that was quite a drive from Lake George, but worth the trip. Specifically I remembered that in Story Town there was a Cinderella’s Pumpkin Carriage ride. My son was a Cinderella fanatic. He was obsessed, still is at 22. “Citronelle” was one of his very first words.

We arrived at the Great Escape and at the entrance was a sign listing all of the rides that were not operating that day. You guessed it…. Cinderella’s Carriage was on the list! Well, he got to SEE the carriage anyway and since there was also a castle (sort of, it was just a Prop) he got over the carriage ride a little more easily that I thought he would.

carriage

We had a good time at the park anyway.  I think I was more disappointed than DC was. I was just so looking forward to him being able to ride in the carriage. He would have been thrilled.

The next day we were heading to the North Pole. This would definitely make up for the missed carriage ride! I checked the local paper the day before and found an ad that stated it was open daily and listed the hours of operation.  It took quite a long time to get there – about an hour and a half, if I remember correctly. When we arrived at the park we found it “Closed for Construction” for the next few MONTHS!  Now I had to explain to him that the park was closed and we would not be seeing Santa today. That went well…………..(not!)

On the way back to Lake George, we happened upon another very small park called “The Magic Forest”. The park was small, cute but very run down and old. DC didn’t care.  He made me walk through a dusty, beat up “Princess House (cave)” 20 times or more. The Princess house cave was filled with dirty mannequins with peeling paint with cobwebs everywhere, but he LOVED it!

20 trips through the Princess House

20 trips through the Princess House

We took a ride on the train that got stuck on the way up a hill and the employees had to get out and push, but he still loved it.

There was also a SANTA!  So the second day of our trip was saved!

Santa Saves the Day!

Santa Saves the Day!

The next day we decided to walk though the town. I remembered a pretty cool wax museum which, surprisingly was still there. We also came upon a Haunted House. DC loves all things Halloween and loves Haunted Houses; always did, even when he was very young.

He wanted to go in. After only two minutes inside, I began to realize that this was a mistake. He was terrified. He put both arms around my waist and I had to keep both of my arms around his neck/head; and this was the way we walked through the rest of the house, with DC walking sideways facing my side, with both arms around me and both my arms around his neck. All the way thorough, all I could think was “What have I done? This child is terrified! I’ve scarred him for life”. I felt so bad that he was so frightened. I kept telling him that he was okay and it was all make-believe. We finally made it out and he seemed all right, but I still felt awful. It WAS really, really scary.

We continued down the street. I continued to ask him if he was okay and told him to remember that it was all just make believe. He seemed fine.

As we were walking DC stopped, pointed and said “Go In”. I looked over and he was pointing at another haunted house. I tried to explain to him that this was a “Scary House” just like the last one and I really didn’t think he wanted to go in. DC kept pointing and saying “Go in” and was now dragging me toward the line. All the while I was trying to explain that this is scary just like the last one. He got me to the line that I had no intention of getting in, and he proceeded to wrap both arms around my waist and had me put my arms around his neck/head and got “into position” to “Go in”.

Apparently, he did understand that this was another haunted house and as much as I thought he was terrified, he wasn’t – he loved it and he was “Going in!”

So, no…… Not scarred for life at all.

DC did get to ride in Cinderella’s Carriage a few years later at another park in New Hampshire.

He still loves Haunted Houses, but you would never know this as he’s going though them.

There’s No Place Like Home

There's No Place Like Home

There’s No Place Like Home

I am fortunate that DC loves to travel. This was not always the case and for a time I believed we would never be able to go anywhere at all, especially by plane. But now he loves to go everywhere and anywhere.

As much as he loves to go away, he always knows when it’s time to go home. If he knows we are leaving on Tuesday, then we are leaving on Tuesday. If he was offered an extra day in Disney, he would not take it because he is going home on Tuesday. It’s not that he is not enjoying himself, he is. He just knows when it’s time to go home and he wants to go home.

Three years ago we took a trip to San Francisco. With the exception of the off season heat wave, the “salad dressing incident” (as it has come to be known by many of my friends), the evacuation of our hotel and an extremely frightening ride in a taxi, the trip went well.

Evacuating the hotel - San Francisco 2010

Evacuating the hotel – San Francisco 2010

We had a great time!

Walking on the Golden Gate 2010

Walking on the Golden Gate 2010

Saturday came and it was time to go home. We had a very late flight, so we spent the day seeing some last minute sights, dinner, and nap and off to the airport to catch our 12:30 am flight home.

Everything went smoothly; bags were checked in, we got through security quickly, we made it to the gate, got DC some snacks for the flight and waited to board.

It was about the time for the plane to begin boarding when the announcement came that the flight had been cancelled! Not delayed, cancelled, due to the crew’s “fatigue” ~ seriously that is exactly what they announced; the crew was fatigued and the flight was cancelled. The next flight out was not until 6:00 am the following morning. This was an already scheduled and sold flight, so chances were they would not be able to accommodate all of these people that just became stranded in the airport.

This was not going to be pretty; DC was ready to go home.

The conversation went like this:

DC the plane is not coming; we have to wait until tomorrow.

“Going home now”

“There’s no place like home”

 No, Bud we have to wait until tomorrow, the plane is broken (I wasn’t going to try to explain “fatigued). Okay, we will go home tomorrow.

“Okay”

Pause……….

“Plane is cancelled, going home now. There’s no place like home”

Mom, going home now. No place like home. Plane is canceled, going home now, there’s no place like home.”

I tried to explain again and again, but as many times as he said “Okay” he went right back into “Going home now, there’s no place like home, plane is cancelled, going home now”

I gave up explaining and tried to ignore it, but he got right in my face and started to get loud “Going home now, there’s no place like home, plane is cancelled, going home now”

The gate was a zoo, with all of the passengers trying to book other flights home. I sat with DC while Doug was in line trying to get us on a flight. There was nothing else I could do for him.  He wouldn’t take any explanation I could give him. It just wasn’t going to sink in.

Now I was also worrying about spending the night in the airport with him. I didn’t think it was going to be easy to get a room anywhere since the entire flight of people would be trying to get a room. We had already turned in the rental car and I was imagining us driving around all night in a cab looking for a hotel with an open room.  Our bags were checked in earlier and we wouldn’t be getting those back tonight so  we had nothing!

And DC was still going on and on……

At this point I saw that Doug had made it to the counter and was working to book a flight. DC was just going on and on so I decided I would share the “joy”. I took DC up to the counter and stood next to Doug.

DC went on and on…..

“Going home today, there’s no place like home, plane is cancelled. Mom! Going home today, there’s no place like home, plane is cancelled, going home today” louder and louder……..

The woman behind the counter looked up at me and said “Oh! I AM Soooooo SORRY!” as DC kept reciting his lines. He kept it up, I tried to explain over and over and he went right on.  She apologized again and on he went.

She was finally able to book us a flight for the next day. And she also threw in a room free of charge (She may have been afraid she would have to listen to this the entire night – I think that “Sharing the Joy” may have paid off a bit……..)

And yes, in this case I agreed with DC… there is no place like home!

Wax Museum - San Francisco 2010

Wax Museum – San Francisco 2010

(We’re going to skip over  the next battle in the room, with no luggage, when he refused to go to sleep because he had no PJ’s and one just doesn’t  sleep In one’s clothes, you know)

“Penny” is in the house! NY Comic-Con

 

2013 comiccon

This year we decided to forego our annual October/Halloween weekend in Salem to attend NY Comic-con.

October… Costumes… it qualifies.

This was our very first “Con” and me, in my infinite wisdom, decided not to start small. Nope…. New York City…. Huge…. Mega Crowds…. but I have to say that it really went well.

Even though we would be in the city for the entire weekend (New York City is DC’s favorite place in the world) I opted for just the one-day/Saturday ticket. I knew that being in New York and not walking around the city and the crowds that I was anticipating would not make for a very happy guy. If this was a bust with DC at least there would be the bright spot of spending the rest of the weekend visiting his favorite places – Hard Rock, Central Park, Toys R Us, The Eloise Store in the Plaza and the Hershey Store.

Since most of our day was posted on my Facebook page, I am going to take the easy way out and just re-post those posts – they say it all anyway….

Once we made it through the crowd outside (pictured above) we headed to the vendor floor – the autograph/photo-op room was not open yet. DC wanted to see Felicia Day and only Felicia Day – but first; the vendor room.

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 Just as we were making our way out of the vendor room because of the crowds, we happened upon Mike Tee-Vee. The real Mike Tee-Vee. Talk about a find! DC was so happy! If we had walked down a different aisle we would have missed him. Fortunately it was early and not too many people had happened upon him yet so he was able to take his time with DC.

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*****

Waiting in line for Felicia Day.  He had waited almost an hour and just as I thought he couldn’t take it anymore, she came out. She came out 20 minutes BEFORE her scheduled time. It was still another half hour before we made it to the front of the line but just seeing her up there kept him focused. Can’t love her more for doing that!

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*****

Some illegal photos Doug took while we were waiting.. until he was screamed at by the staff, that is.

2Ny and ComicCon 0031391453_10200782575831324_2033676110_n

 

 

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DC with Felicia Day… She was wonderful. She held his hands and asked him which Dr. Horrible song was his favorite. (He was going to wear his Dr. Horrible costume, but changed his mind at the last-minute which was probably for the best)

IMG_3546

DC loves “Penny” from Dr. Horrible but he also knows her from “Erica” (Eureka). He was thrilled. She let us take a picture even though we were not supposed to (as much as he loves her, I just could not make him stand in another line for a photo-op with her)

*****

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I picked the only panel I thought he would enjoy – the Once Upon a Time, panel. Even with the appearance of surprise guest “Emma” (Jennifer Morrison), DC fell asleep about 10 minutes into it – I tried….

There is a Walking Dead panel later today that I am dying to go to, but … yeah… that’s not going to happen.

*****

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Lunch: Pretzels on the floor. The pretzel line was the only manageable line for food we could find. If he was not looking forward to dinner in the city later, THIS would not have gone over well at all. – *Note to self

*****

I told myself all day that I would not spend the money they are asking for William Shatner’s autograph. Well, I caved. How could I attend my first Comic-Con with William Shatner in attendance and skip him? DC does know him of course because I am his mother. I was nervous but William Shatner was nice to him. We were not allowed to take photos (and no, I was NOT going to pay for a photo-op), so this was the best we could do. We completely forgot to tell him that DC shares his birthday!

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Ready for dinner in the city…

(update 2/2016: This was a post that I made private some time ago until I had the opportunity to edit a few of the photos of DC – I was reminded of it due to a conversation I had yesterday – My apologies if you have received an e-mail notification for a new post – it’s old)

“How Rude!”

NO THANK YOU!!!

Full House…. One of DC’s favorite TV shows. He especially enjoys Stephanie’s classic line; “How Rude!” It must be the delivery because DC really doesn’t have any notion of “rude” or what it means. He says what he says, the way it makes sense to him. He has no concept of what rudeness is.

Years ago, in the grocery store he wanted to get past someone, he just said, “Move”. I explained to him that this was rude and that he should say “excuse me”. And he did……. to every single person we passed in the store, every single one of them. He now knows not to tell anyone to “move” because I told him not to. He doesn’t understand why and just knows that it’s rude, not really knowing what “rude” means and not really being able to relate it to other things he does that can be seen as rude. It’s rude because Mom said so, period.

A few years ago, we were in Las Vegas. We were walking down the street and I was holding DC’s arm trying to navigate him through the hordes of people made worse by construction, on the sidewalks. He also has no awareness of what’s around him, in the sense for example, he will stand up in a restaurant to put his coat without looking around to see if he’s going to hit a waitress or a customer with his arms. He just doesn’t have the thought process to consider who might be around, who might be in the way, who he might knock over. He just does what he has to do. I was so preoccupied with making sure he wasn’t in anyone’s way, bumping into them or hitting anyone when the arms started flapping, that I didn’t notice the people out on the sidewalks handing out their “marketing materials”. I looked down and DC had a handful of business cards, all with photos of women on them. He wasn’t looking at them, he was taking them because they were handing them to him, and we always do what we are told. I took them and tossed them in the trash. I couldn’t just tell him not to take them. He wouldn’t know what to do when the next person tried to give him something, and that would result in a bit of a breakdown. Mom said not to, but they are still giving these to me. That sort of conflict in this head is never pretty. So I told him that if anyone else tries to hand him anything else, that he should be polite and just say “No, Thank you” and not take it.

In Vegas, the people handing out “literature” stand about 7 or 8 in a row and you run into another 7 or 8 of them every 10 feet. So DC, following the rules, proceeded to walk down the street, screaming “NO THANK YOU!” at each and every one of them, all the way down the street, the entire time we were there, anywhere we went.

That’s my boy! He IS NOT rude 🙂 I did manage to get him to lower his voice a bit as the days went on and he was very proud of himself for being so polite – even though he really doesn’t understand what that means either. It’s all still a work in progress………………….

“Look in the mirror and spit cookies”

"Look in the Mirror and Spit Cookies"

“Look in the Mirror and Spit Cookies”

One of my greatest fears (one of them; I have a million) is DC having something medically wrong with him and I won’t be able to tell.

Unless he has a fever,  throws up or passes out right in front of me (try catching a 200lb boy at 3am) there is really no way for me to know.  He doesn’t really let on that there is a problem and when there is, his behavior is pretty much the same as it always is. I don’t know if he doesn’t feel pain like the rest of us or he just doesn’t process it the way we would expect.  This boy can run full speed with a sprained ankle!

When he was younger, he would “tell” everyone that he was sick; actually he would just sign “sick” with no other details. Most of the time he was not sick at all, but he knew the school nurse had jellybeans in her office so that is where he wanted to be! Then he discovered when he was finished with the jellybeans that they would call Mom to pick him up. Most of the time, knowing that he really wasn’t sick, I would pick him up and bring him to work with me – which he loves, so I wasn’t really winning any battles there, but I had to work. (We’ll forget about the ONE time, he threw up all over my office, the ONE time he really was sick and no one believed him. I guess he showed us!)

On the few occasions that I did suspect that something might be wrong, I had to resort to asking him questions that I hoped he would respond with a “No”. The more ridiculous the question, the better. Because he answers “yes” to everything, I can’t lead him to an answer by asking;

“Does your head hurt?”

“Yes”

“Does your stomach hurt?”

“Yes”

If I ask him more than once, all of his answers then become “no” because he thinks he’s giving me the wrong answer.

So I have to ask “Do your eyebrows hurt?” or “Does your hair hurt?” By asking him this sort of question, he thinks it’s funny, gives me a “no” and then he understands the question and sometimes even tells me what hurts.

Because I had to do something about his daily jelly bean pilgrimage to the nurse’s office, I stopped taking him to work when they called. If he was so sick that I had to pick him up, he had to go home and rest. That ended that game, but now he won’t tell me anything at all because he’s afraid he’ll have to rest or worse…. go to the Doctor!

There was one time when he did tell me…..

Well, sort of…

One night he ran by me on his way upstairs. I asked him what was wrong and where he was going.

“Look in the mirror and spit cookies” and he ran upstairs.

After a very confused few seconds, I realized that a few months back I went upstairs and found a disgusting mess in the bathroom sink. It was apparent that DC was sick (evidence! YES!) But instead of telling me he just went to “listen to the music” in his room.

I realized that “ looking in the mirror and spitting cookies”  was his way of telling me he was going to be sick, because that last time, he was in front of the sink, in front of the mirror and he had eaten cookies!

I was right and yes, this is the way my mind has to work to be able to figure anything out.

I’ve told him so many times that it is very important for him to tell me when something hurts. Mom might have medicine to make it better; it doesn’t always mean a trip to the doctor. We have this discussion at least once a week. I didn’t think I was getting anywhere.

The other morning I heard, “come here please”. I went upstairs and said “What’s wrong, DC?”

“I need your help”

What do you need me to help you with?

“Nothing, I love you” (I didn’t find it all that odd because he calls me upstairs quite often to tell me he loves me or to tell me what he wants for breakfast the next day).

I went back downstairs. He came down looking a little out of sorts. I asked him again what was wrong.

He proceeded to tell me, not in the words you or I would use, but he told me! Luckily I had medicine to fix it! He was okay in about 20 minutes.

So I’m hoping that he’s realized that he can tell me and sometimes I can fix it and it doesn’t always mean resting or going to the doctor. I’m also hoping this means if something is bothering him enough, he will say something, which is a little bit of a load off my mind.

Just one small step in the right direction……..

Communication, Paper Towels and Other Nonsense

The battle for communication from the time DC was in the Birth to 3 Program has been a never-ending battle fought, for the most part, uphill.

When he was younger I asked –  begged, someone – anyone; his teacher, his IA, anyone,  to write at least one thing that he did that day that was specific to that day. I explained that I wanted him to understand the question “What did you do today” and to be able to have some sort of conversation whether it be in sign language (when he was young) or in just a few words (when he moved past sign and started using a small  words). I just wanted him to understand the question and give me some sort of response.

If I couldn’t get a response, at least I could list a few things I KNEW that he did, hoping that this would get the point of “today” in his mind. If I listed things that I thought he may have done and he answered “yes” and then turned out he didn’t do those things, we were missing the point of learning to respond to “what did you do today”. He will give random answers, or answers that he gave before, even if they are not correct. So I needed to KNOW.

“Fine Day overall” – my all-time favorite, was not what I had in mind.

Now he’s in a day/work program. It took a long time to find this program (which was the blog I was going to write today).  He works in their on-site Greenhouse which is open to the public. Communication is a little better about what he did that day, but other notes can be a little odd at times.

Judging from some of the notes I’ve received I really don’t think they understand him or the way his mind works.

 “DC refused to do a job that was assigned to him today”.

Now…… I am not one of those “Not MY Child” or “My child would never do that”, I know what he would or wouldn’t do and my child would not do that! Upon further investigation I discovered that they were phrasing their assignment, for example; “DC do you want to empty the garbage?” Of course he is going to say “No”! Who wants to empty the garbage if given a choice? Phrasing it as a question is giving him a choice in his mind. He’s not refusing, he’s answering a question.

I’m not going to get into all of the notes, but it’s clear to me that they don’t understand Autism, which I find odd in a program for special needs adults.

Note from yesterday:

“DC, when given some directions – a job I guess he did not want to do, banged his hand on the water barrel.”

That’s it.

It’s difficult enough to talk to him about something after the fact, never mind without specifics.

What was the Job? Were there too many directions?

He can follow directions but it has to be a step or two at a time, otherwise he overloads, shuts down and won’t hear any of it. Something they should know at this point.

And then:

“DC has been using up paper towels at work. I told him it’s a rule – One Towel only when you wash your hands. I made a sign that says “Rule – One Towel” for him. If you have a suggestion, let me know”

(This about a kid who more times than not dries his hands on his pants)

I went to have lunch with DC hoping to speak with her, but she was not there.

After lunch DC had to use the rest room and I waited (1/4 of my life is spent waiting outside the Men’s Room :). He came out, went to the sink, washed his hands, took one paper towel and threw it away.

And then there was this:

DC Rule 1 Towel

DC Rule
1 Towel

They posted his NAME on the sign in a place of business that is open to the public!

As I was leaving, the assistant said “DC do you want to work in the garden with the boys?” – and DC said “no”……….. – (heavy sigh)

And how was your day?

****

The sign with his name on it and the question (again) instead of a directive were both addressed …. but we won’t get into that. The sign was taken up with the director later that day.

****

Tales from the Day Program – ALL

For Sami, Love Daddy

Chloe and SamiIn 1992, when Sami, who has Down syndrome, was 18 months old, her father, Rich, was the Senior Producer for the Sony JumboTron in Times Square.  He began producing a series of spots to raise awareness and acceptance of people with Down syndrome to run on the JumboTron during Down syndrome awareness month.    He continued to produce these PSA’s on his own until 1994, when he contacted Emily Perl Kingsley.

Emily is an Emmy award winning writer for Sesame Street, the author of a wonderful essay entitled “Welcome to Holland” and a personal friend of Big Bird.  She also has a son with Down syndrome.

Emily Kingsley immediately saw the value in what Rich was producing and through her contacts involved NDSS.  Together they produced spots which included children with Down syndrome from all around the country.

The response was overwhelming!  All of the featured children and their families from 25 different states came to New York City to view the spots on the JumboTron in Times Square.

As there was so much interest that year, NDSS held an event in Times Square where all the families could gather to watch the video. A wonderful reception followed at Sardi’s for all the families that made the trip.

In 1995, as a result of the success of this event, the NDSS Buddy Walk was born. Again families gathered in Times Square to watch the presentation and then headed up to Central Park for the Buddy Walk.

This year Sami, now 22 years old, returns to the Square for the event that was created because of her and the love of a father for his beautiful daughter.

 “In my heart the event will always be “For Sami Love Daddy”

–        Which is how Rich tagged everything he produced…….

For Sami

 

Sami with her “Best Buddy”, Chloe were featured in the Bright Lights of Times Square in New York City on September 21, 2013.

Sami and Chloe watching themselves on the screen

Sami and Chloe watching themselves on the screen

Does everything really need to be this difficult?

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Please Note: The following is a rant, plain and simple; a rant, a vent, whatever you would like to call it. There is no moral to the story, no happy ending, no “Ah Ha” moment, no conclusions to be drawn (actually there are many conclusions to be drawn, but we won’t say them out loud) – just a plain and simple “I’ve had it” kind of rant.

For those of you who don’t have a child with special needs or have young children and haven’t had to think about the “adult” side of things, here’s how it works. I don’t know if it’s the same in every state, but this is the way it goes here.

When your child reaches the age of 18, depending on the severity of the disability (can he/she make decisions for themselves)  the parent is required to apply for guardianship of their own child otherwise they will not have the ability to make decisions for that child. The state views them as adults, period, and this means they should be able to make their own decisions, medically, financially, etc. (Paperwork, Probate hearing)

Due to budget cuts right around the time DC was to about turn 18, anyone not covered under Title 19, lost their caseworker through Department of Developmental Services. DDS is where the funding comes from for their work/day programs after they leave the school system at 21.

This is the time in our children’s lives when you really need to have a caseworker. This is when you have to begin looking for a program for them when they leave school.

Before you can apply for Title 19, you first have to apply for Social Security (tons of paper work).

After you apply for Social Security, you can begin the application process for Title 19. I am fortunate that my case worker, Ruthie, at the time, was there to help with this. She came to my house and my friend who has a son the same age as DC, came over and we all did the paperwork together. If not for her, I would still be sitting in the same place trying to figure it all out.

Now we’re done, right? Wrong!

Every year I have to fill out the forms for Guardianship (when they come, sometimes they don’t) again – just to be sure DC is still disabled. Not a big deal, just annoying. But seriously, he has autism, it doesn’t go away.

There is an annual report for Social Security as well as an audit or two during the year “just because”. And….. now that he is in a work program and makes a tiny bit of money, I have to remember to call in during and only during the first 6 days of the month to report his wages for the previous month to Social Security, so they can reduce his monthly payment appropriately.

Also once a year we receive the annual Title 19 redetermination, which is basically as much paperwork as the original application. I’m not complaining, I can live with all of this, but it is a LOT of paperwork!

Complaining begins here:

Now, I may not look like the most organized person in the world, but I do get all of these things done, on time, always!

DC’s redetermination was due on July 20. On July 16th I mailed a giant package with the application, the year’s worth of check stubs, his last bank statement and insurance cards – everything they asked for in the instructions. This was the fist time filling out a redetermination since he had begun working.

Done! PHEW!

Wrong again!

On Monday, August 26th I received a letter from DSS that his benefits had been discontinued because I did not complete and return his redetermination! There was a form included so I could request a hearing. This form had to be completed and returned by August 30th – in four days!

“Calm” was never and will never be a word used to describe me, so the next morning a dragged all of my “books” to work to recopy all 43 pages of his redetermination, because at this point I can’t think about anything else.

First, I decided to try to call the number (silly, yes I know). There was really no menu item that described this situation and no way to talk to a person, so I moved on to faxing the hearing notice and the copies of the redetermination to the number provided. The fax was cutting out and disconnecting and after I don’t know how many attempts, I gave up trying to fax it all.

Knowing this was going to take more than a fax at this point, I took my lunch break at 9am so I could copy all of these forms, check stubs, insurance cards and bank statements. I decided I would mail one copy to the local office and the other to the address that was on the hearing notice. Two more giant packages in the mail – Done!

I was not confident that either of these packages  would ever be seen by anyone, as they never received the original and having only 3 days now to request a hearing, I found different phone # in all of my 3 ring binder records and tried again to call. Fortunately, I was able to put the call on speaker and do some work while I waited otherwise I’d be putting in for vacation time to finish all of this! Unfortunately, all of my co-workers had to listen to “Your wait time is…. more than 20 minutes” over and over again.

An HOUR and 9 MINUTES later (just a tad more than 20 minutes), an actual person picked up. I explained the situation as calmly as I could.

Her reply was: “Oh, we’ve put a new system into place where all the redeterminations go first to our scanning facility and are inputted into our system for us to work on. Because the system has been up and down and they are very backed up, we probably do have your original redetermination and we have extended everyone’s deadline to November 20th. His benefits have not been cancelled.

Seriously? It may have been more effective to put THAT in the letter instead of telling me his benefits were cancelled and I only had 4 days to do something about it!

Those that know me can imagine where the conversation went from there, so I will spare all of you the details.

End result, she gave me her fax # and I faxed another 43 pages directly to her.  She did explain that she is not the person that would be working on my son’s case, but I wanted them to go to SOMEBODY.

So at this point, there are 3 packages of my son’s information floating around somewhere and one more in the hands of this person who has nothing to do with my son’s case.

She also informed me (after receiving 43 pages) that they really only need the last 4 paystubs. Hmmmm….. Maybe the redetermination instructions could say that!

So….

  • They lost his original packet (but maybe not, we may never know)
  • You can’t talk to a person at the number they provide.
  • They mailed letters to clients telling them their benefits were cancelled. (The person I spoke with said they received 1500 calls that morning)
  • They extended the deadline without bothering to tell anyone (This would have been something to send a letter about –it may have gone a long way to reduce the amount of calls they received.  And really, nobody at DSS found it odd that 1500 cases were being cancelled at the same time, due to non-completion of their redeterminations? – Somebody had to MAIL all of these letters!)
  • They sent a hearing notice to return by fax within 4 days with a fax number that clearly doesn’t work.
  • And I still don’t know if anybody that actually works on his case has his forms at this point.

.

I feel like there was nothing accomplished here and there was an enormous amount of wasted time on both sides.

I suppose I will be in the dark until I get my notice in November.

“Funny Friday”

“Monster”

For the two years after “Graduation” DC attended a transition program through the school system at a local college.

I was visiting the school for a class event, one Friday afternoon and his teacher, “Mr. Disney” (as DC calls him) excitedly came over to me and asked “Did you help him with his jokes today?” Not knowing what he was talking about, I said “No, what jokes?”  One of the IA’s (“Para’s” to some of you) chimed in to tell me that he had told 3 jokes for “Funny Friday” that morning.

Mr. Disney went on to tell me that every Friday is “Funny Friday” and all of the students tell their favorite jokes at the morning meeting.

Okay…. Let’s pause here for a moment……

I don’t know how long (or if ever) it will take before anyone will understand that HE IS NOT GOING TO COME HOME AND TELL ME THESE THINGS! If someone else does not tell me, I am not going to know. If I had known about “Funny Friday” I would have helped him with some jokes, but unfortunately I was never told.

I was surprised that he actually TOLD a joke because DC’s idea of a joke – and it’s always the same – is:

“Ha, Ha, Ha! Funny Joke!”

Me:   “What’s the joke, Bud?”

“Monster!”

(Insert “cricket” sound here – that is it)

They proceeded to tell me the jokes he told that morning. He told them properly complete with a bow and…. they were actually funny – real jokes!

“Why did Bo Peep pour chocolate on her sheep?”

“She wanted a chocolate BAAAAAAAAR”

“Why can’t Cinderella play Soccer?”

“Because she ran away from the ball”

“What do they call a Fairy that doesn’t take a bath for a month?”

“Stinker-Bell”

He told honest – to – goodness JOKES!  After years of “Monster”, he actually told, not one joke, but three and UNDERSTOOD why they were funny!

Later, I ran into the Interim Dean of Health Sciences, of the college who couldn’t wait to tell me about the three jokes that DC shared that morning. Everyone was very impressed, to say the least!

Still I had no idea where he found these jokes.

About a week later, “Mr. Disney” finally got DC to tell him where he found his material.

Actually, he showed him……

After asking him all week, DC went to the computer, typed “Disney jokes” in the search engine and found a web-site full of Disney jokes.

He memorized them and had them ready for “Funny Friday”!

He was able to figure out on his own that “Monster” wasn’t cutting it for “Funny Friday” and he needed better jokes. He went about finding them himself, remembered them and had them ready for Friday!

“Monster” ?? Still his favorite joke.

(Graduation – I do not know what it is like everywhere else, but here school-age for SPED is 3 to 21 years old. DC “graduated” from the High School after spending 4 years there. Having two years left of school, after his senior year – the options were to let him stay at the High School or to have him outplaced into an appropriate transition program. Fortunately the town put together this transition program right before DC was ready to graduate.)

 

“This is mine” –just one more thing to file under “Things I should know by now”

"This is Mine"

“This is Mine”

Last week DC and I went out for frozen yogurt. Normally DC gets the “Bucket Size” with as many toppings as he can fit, hot fudge and whipped cream. I usually get the smaller size, no toppings and I throw mine on the scale quickly to see how much it weighs so I can track my points. I have to admit that most of the flavors all taste the same to me, but a treat is a treat especially if it works with point-tracking.

Earlier that day, I had French fries with lunch so I decided that my day was already blown – I might as well just go all out (yes, I can throw in the towel that easily – don’t judge).

DC likes his toppings but doesn’t understand that he can’t just keep heaping them on – they end up all over the counter. I taught him to put some on the bottom before he gets his yogurt, so that is what he does now. I took my own advice and put a layer of Butterfinger crumbs on the bottom of my “ bucket”  before picking out my yogurt flavor. We paid for our yogurt, complete with toppings, fudge and whipped cream and took a seat.

Half way through DC announced “This is mine”.

Okay….??….???

I didn’t know what that was all about but I said “Yes, Bud, that is yours”.

He announced again, “This is mine!”

Now I’m thinking that he was worried that I wanted some of his. (You know the commercial for macaroni and cheese “skimming”? That’s me! Guilty! He usually never comments on my skimming, so I was a little surprised that he was so adamant about the yogurt being “his”).

“Don’t worry, Mom has her own, yes, that is yours”.

We continued to eat our yogurt and when DC made it to the bottom of “his”, he showed me his spoon covered with MY BUTTERFINGER Crumbs and said “I don’t like this” (seriously, WHO doesn’t love Butterfinger crumbs!)

We had mixed up our yogurt buckets and he knew it. He was trying to tell me that the whole time. Now I know he confuses the words –  I, me, you, yours and mine but he was so adamant about telling me it was “his” and because of my assumption that the “skimming” was beginning to bother him  I just didn’t realize he was just reversing his words as usual!

 

So the lesson for that day was;

If I listened to what he was really trying to say, I would have gotten to have my Butterfinger crumbs!

And again, who doesn’t love butterfingers????!!!!!!

Just another item to file under “things I should know by now”