These Three

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

These Three…. they are truly amazing. As their parents, my friends and I know this. We know the progress they have all made. Sometimes though in dealing with the day-to-day, we do not always remember the journey until someone who has not seen them in quite a while points it out.

We lived it all but we tend to concentrate on the here and now and the future – how we got here is not always uppermost in our minds. We deal with today.

Last week we ran into our kids’ Special Olympics swimming coach at a Best Buddies Christmas Party. She was there with another friend of ours. She has recently moved out-of-state so she was filling us in on what she has been up to since her move. She was also their volleyball and golf coach for many years as well so she has been a part of our kids’ lives for quite a long time – since they were very young.

As she was watching our kids at the party, she commented on just how much progress they had made over the years. DC’s friends stories are not mine to tell, but her comments about DC made me sit back and really think about just how far he (and his friends) have come. As she watched him socialize in this crowded room she said “Who would have ever thought that he would be able to sit in this room and tolerate the crowd and the noise?” She was right; attending this activity would not have been a pretty sight back then. Never mind the noise, he would have never been so social with anyone of his own age or anyone but me for that matter. Then there were the times when I really should have just thrown in the towel and not taken him to practice at all. Now-a-days we can pretty much go anywhere with out too much of an issue.

She knew us and she knew our kids inside out. She always went out of her way to make the process as easy as possible for us and most importantly, for our kids. Special Olympics lost a fantastic coach, when they lost her due to her work and school commitments.

These Three have been through a lot both separately and together. We have all hit some potholes along the way; some deeper than others, but for the most part we have traveled this road together. It is nice to sit back and remember this very long journey that they have taken with each other. They have grown into amazing young adults and yes, we know this, but it is always nice to have someone point it out and bring it all back for you.

Although the stories of his friends are not mine to tell, I will say that I am as proud of them as I am of him. As we live with new and different struggles and challenges, we should take the time to remember just where we all started and all that These Three have accomplished over the years.

There has been so very much.

Sometimes is just takes someone else to help us remember.

And we should remember and we should be proud of all of it.

These Three………….

They are impressive.

They are amazing.

All the…. small things

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

I was talking to a friend of mine the other night at a Winter Guard Event. She was relating a story about how she had written a note to her daughter’s staff listing the items – the only items, her daughter was allowed to purchase that day. Her daughter added an item to that note and handed it in hoping no one would notice the addition.

Of course she was caught because the handwriting did not match, but my first reaction to the story was “That is SO Cool!”. Another friend agreed that it was fantastic. My friend laughed and of course knew that it was really an accomplishment, but you know…..she had to be the mother. She had to at least pretend to be mortified.

Much like when DC stacks 3 slices of pizza on top of each other thinking I will actually believe that he has only one piece -I have to be impressed. He thought it out and came up with that scam by himself – but on the other hand, I have to be the mother and tell him that it is wrong to be so sneaky and to lie.

I told her that if DC tried something like that, it would definitely be a blog post and even though it was not DC this time, a post it is.

This conversation reminded me of an old web-site my friends and I used to run, many years ago – probably 15 years ago when our children were young. One section of the site was titled:

The milestones WE Celebrate –

Some might find our celebrations odd, but they are ours. We celebrate every advancement and every achievement, even if the achievement is something that most parents would frown upon – we do not. To us – it is progress.

Some of the following blurbs are mine (DC was very young at the time) and some are from friends of mine, but they were all very important achievements for us at the time.

So…. here are some of The Milestones WE Celebrated many years ago:

Your son whacks his Little League Coach in the head with a bat. Both you and the Coach are thrilled because this was the first time he attempted to swing at ANYTHING!

You attend your Parent/Teacher conference: Your son’s teacher jubilantly announces that your son and his friend were cheating from each other’s papers. You are as thrilled as she is, because this means he finally realized (on his own) he was supposed to be doing something other than just sitting there – and also figured out, ON HIS OWN, how and where to find out just what it is he was supposed to be doing.

It was a “bittersweet” morning when I discovered that almost all my “sled” ornaments from the Christmas tree had been crushed on the floor. We were surprised to discover that my son was the culprit. While we watched, he carefully removed a sled, (which are many),..gingerly placed it on the floor and then ever so slowly sat on it! I was dismayed that our collection was reduced to only the few left “on higher ground” but thrilled he finally realized what a sled is for!!

My son began saying “shut up” all of a sudden and quite often. I realized that he picked it up from Princess Diaries. I knew he had no idea what it really meant, but still, he continued to say it.
Last night he was in the car with one of his friends. His friend generally starts talking as soon as he gets in the car and the blue streak continues during the entire ride. On this particular ride my son turned to him and said “Shut Up”.
His friend’s mother called me on the phone immediately, very excited because she knew that it meant my son actually figured out what the word meant.

My son loves bread, more than just about any food. A few days ago, a friend of mine baked bread for Christmas gifts. She delivered two loaves to our house, one Cinnamon and the other was a small ‘personal size’ loaf of plain bread. We immediately had to make toast when he saw the Cinnamon bread. Later, when he was giving me his breakfast order (which he does every night before bed), he requested the “Elf Bread”. Not really understanding what he meant, he went to the counter to show me the little ‘personal size’ loaf of bread – “Elf Bread!”

The forging of notes and the stacking of pizza would certainly have a place in the top 10 if we were ever to compile a new, updated list……

Progress with a Side of Pasta

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Progress with a side of Pasta

Looking back over the past year, I can honestly say that it has been a very good and productive year.

DC completed his first full year of “work”. He transitioned into it very well. Me? I am the one still having a problem calling it “work” and not “school”, the “car” is here, instead of the “bus”. I panic each time a school vacation comes along because I have to make plans for DC while I’m working, until I realize he doesn’t get those weeks off anymore; he’s working. The transition seems to be much more difficult for me than it was for him.

Volunteer “Dream Job”

My “Broadway Baby” also has a volunteer job as a Greeter at a local theater, with a job coach of course. He loves it and does well. The shifts are long, but he makes it through and he is happy when he gets home. How many of us can say we have our Dream Job? DC has his.

Because of his “theater experience” he was asked to help his camp by passing out programs at the annual “Thank You to Our Civic Groups” picnic. Unfortunately, the promise of cheeseburgers after he was finished totally distracted him while he was supposed to be working, so we will write that one off as a “trial run” and I will know how to better explain the process to him next year.

Communication-wise, I’ve noticed that I am doing much less prompting to get him to respond to a greeting and many times he will initiate a greeting himself; although “Hello Old Lady” isn’t exactly in my top ten, he DID initiate the conversation himself. He was also able to tell me a couple of times, in his own way, but in a way that I was able to figure out, that he wasn’t feeling well.

He has been asking to do more things “All by myself”, like making his lunch for ~~school~~ work, his breakfast, making his bed and shaving. “All by myself” means he doesn’t even want me in the room (a good thing with the shaving……. I make him nervous – me?- “Mom, are you still here?”).

This year we skipped our annual Halloween trip to either Salem or Sleepy Hollow and decided to go to New York ComicCon. To say it was crowded is an understatement. He did well. Yes, he was anxious, but he controlled himself as best he could. Mike TeeVee came at the perfect moment. DC was getting anxious so we were on our way off the show floor because I could see he was getting upset. We happened upon “Mr. TeeVee” on the way. No line, as I don’t think anyone realized he was there yet. He was very nice and was able to spend some extra time with DC. DC calmed down right away.

He waited in line for an HOUR and A HALF to see the love of his life, Felicia Day. Do you remember when your kids were little? When they would finally eat or do something that they never would before and you were afraid to even look at them for fear they would stop? This is exactly how I felt standing in that line with him. I don’t think I was even breathing. Fortunately she came out early and we were relatively close to the front of the line, so I knew we were “home free” at that point. He was excited when she came out but then he turned to me and said “I am very nervous about this”. He has used the word “nervous” up to this point only when there was a storm, never about meeting anyone. I think he realized right then and there that the people he sees on TV or in the movies are real people AND that this person, that he adores, is someone special.

Penny’s Frozen Yogurt

We made it to the front, I could breathe again. She was lovely to him. It made his day.

He was also able to meet William Shatner. He does know who that is due to his mother (me). He was very nice to him as well but “no pictures please”. We did forget to tell him that DC was born on his birthday; maybe that would have rated us a picture –but live and learn.

His Uncle asked him to sing Edelweiss at the table on Christmas Eve. DC is, and always has been, a ham so I was surprised that he sang the song, looking only at me and then buried his head in my arm when he was finished. Bashful! Embarrassed! I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, BUT, it IS a new reaction and a new emotion so I will add this to the Plus Column as well.

There is so much more I can say about this year, but my point is, DC is 22, he continues to make progress. No, not in leaps and bounds as he did when he was younger, but it is there.

No matter what the age, there is always progress to be made. It may not even be noticeable right away, but it is there.

And, Oh……. On New Year’s Eve, Eve, two days before the year ended, he actually ate pasta. PASTA!