The ritual of it all

It is Friday evening, 5pm. I had arrived home from work about an hour earlier and DC has just come in from the library with Mrs. H.

The moment Mrs. H. leaves to go home, his Friday ritual begins.

“Mom, may I ask you a question?”

Now I know what this question will be, there is only one question he asks in this manner. He asks it in the exact same way every weekend. I am sure that somewhere along the line, when DC wanted to use his computer, I told him to “ask me the question, instead of using one word” – and this became “Mom, may I ask you a question?” He asks no other questions in this way, only this one. The question is not really even a question, it is a statement. The only actual question we have here is him asking me if he ‘may’ ask me a question…… but close enough.

“Yes, DC. What is your question?”

“I would like to play computer please”

“Sure you can.”

And he’s off.

DC has his rituals. I know them – I am used to them. It’s only when I sit back and watch the whole thing from beginning to end do I realize just how involved some of them are and just how long many of them take to complete.

During the week as soon as Mrs. H. leaves, DC runs up to his room to get his book. This book must be on the chair next to him at the kitchen table. He has his chair at the table where he reads or edits his books, but the chair next to him is also off-limits because this is where his book must sit. No one can sit in his editing chair and Mrs. H. is the only one allowed to sit in the book chair.

The 3 book rule was instituted because DC would travel from room to room with his pile of books. They were not the books he planned to read, they were the books he moved from spot to spot in the house according to what room he was in. With his pile of books in place he would then go and get another book to read. This pile of books grew and grew until I was afraid that he would fall down the stairs carrying them because he could no longer see over them. These were also not small paperbacks, they were large heavy books. The 3 book rule meant that he was only allowed to carry around 3 books at a time. The 3 book rule was hard for him. He would try to “hide” an extra book or two in the pile, so the three book rule was adjusted. The 3 book rule is now the one book rule. This seemed much easier for him to manage. The temptation to try to hide and additional book in the pile was gone as there was no longer a pile. The one book gets moved to the chair when he is in the kitchen, the corner of the coffee table when in the living room and a chair next to his bed in his room.

DC is only allowed to use his computer and/or watch DVD’s on the weekends as they tend to distract him from wanting to do anything else (see Disney, Disney and more Disney).

He has accepted this rule and it has worked well for us.

When Friday comes and Mrs. H leaves, it is officially ‘the weekend’ for DC.

“Mom, may I ask you a question?”

“Yes, DC. What is your question?”

“I would like to play computer please”

“Sure you can.”

And so it begins……

  • 1st – he gets his laptop out of the drawer,  and sets it up in his spot in the kitchen.
  • Next – he goes up the stairs to his room to get his one book and brings it to the kitchen to sit beside him.
  • He goes back up to his room to bring down a pile of DVD’s that are sorted in some order that is known only to DC.
  • He goes back up to his room for a separate pile of DVD’s from a different ‘DC category’ that is also not apparent to anyone but him.
  • Back upstairs again for a smaller stack of DVD’s which is surely an entirely different category.
  • Back upstairs for an even smaller stack (all stacks are arranged on the table in separate places with the largest stack on top of the one book on the chair).
  • Another trip up to his room for his 4 ‘sound machines’ because one can not watch a movie or video with out adding applause or other sound effects.
  • Into the living room for his earphones.
  • Back up to his room to put on his pajamas (his signal to me that he is done for the night and will not be going out anywhere else).
  • Lastly he collects an assortment of colored sharpies from the overflowing sharpie basket in the corner to line up next to him on the table.

At this point, I would be exhausted but now he is finally ready to watch his DVD’s.

sound machines

Sharpies and ‘sound machines’

Movies stacked in order and one book

After all of this back and forth, up and down, does he actually watch any of the movies he so carefully sorted, stacked and arranged? Rarely. He opts for YouTube.

This entire ritual is performed in reverse when it is time for bed.

And then Saturday morning comes…………..

and so it goes……………

The Bookstore Revisited…….

We love Salem, MA. It is one of the places, along with New York City, NY and Mystic CT, that we visit any time we have the chance. Salem has been our Halloween/October destination for many, many years. We also try to visit during the year when it is not as crowded. So we are in Salem a couple- three times a year, at the least.

DC has a “favorite book store” everywhere we visit, but the Derby Square Book Store is his all time favorite anywhere. We last visited Salem in April on Easter weekend. We were spending the weekend in Boston and decided to take a quick trip to Salem on Saturday. When we arrived at DC’s beloved bookstore, we were horrified to find that it was closed! (see: Book Store Blues)

Fortunately we found that it would not be closed forever. The new owner was outside with a table of books to sell, but no one was allowed inside because they were packing up all of the old stock. She let DC inside, thankfully and saved the day!

Earlier this month, I had the week off, DC also had the week off from his job/program so that he could attend camp. I wanted to take a trip to Salem but we didn’t have a lot of options even though we were both off because  I didn’t want him to miss a day of camp. We opted to go on Sunday.

Before I told DC that we would be visiting Salem, I had to be sure that this store had re-opened. I started searching twitter, instagram and the web for information of the re-opening. I was able to out that the store had re-opened, under the name of “Wicked Good Books” , but did not know if it was open on Sundays. I didn’t know if we should take the chance. I didn’t know what he would do if we went there a second time to find it closed. But I also did not know when we would have the next opportunity to visit.

I talked to DC and explained we may be going to Salem on Sunday. The first thing he said was “Bookstore”. I told him that yes, his book store was open again, but I wasn’t sure if it was open on Sunday.

Me: “Do you understand, DC? It might not be open on Sunday. But don’t worry, if it is not open we will go back another time.”

DC: “Yes, I understand”

30 seconds go by……..

DC: “Bookstore?”

Me: “Yes, Bud, if the bookstore is open, we will go to the bookstore, but Mom wasn’t able to find out if it is open on Sundays. If it is not open, we will find another bookstore on Sunday and we will go back to Salem another time when your store is open.”

DC: “Okay, Mom”

and another 30 seconds pass……

DC: “Bookstore?”

This went on for a while. until I thought that maybe he finally understood, but I wouldn’t really be sure until we arrived there……..

My next concern was that he was going to be upset when he saw the store was “different” (thankfully for me – now I didn’t have to worry that books were going to come toppling down on him). I began explaining this to him back in April, when we knew it was changing owners, and more-so as soon as we decided to go to Salem in July. I got the standard “Okay, Mom. I understand” reply from DC, and again, I couldn’t really know if he really did understand, but I was really hoping that he did.

We arrived in Salem and after the initial panicked run for the restroom, which only brought him closer to the bookstore (that may have been his plan all along), we headed down the street to the store and thankfully, it was open!

The funny thing was, after all of the explaining and worries, it did not seem to faze him in the least that everything was so different and that books or entire shelves were not going to fall if he took something off of the shelf the wrong way. He headed directly to the back corner where all of the children’s books were located in the old store, which turned out to be just where they were set up now and his “hunt” began.

He found 3 or 4 books that he wanted and we went to the register to pay. The owner recognized him immediately from our April visit and she commented that she was also worried that it would upset him to find so many changes. I told her that I had been explaining this to him since we left in April but I still wasn’t sure how he would react when he actually got here.

She asked him if he liked the store and he answered with an emphatic “Yes!”

I asked him if this was still his favorite book store and again he answered, loudly “Yes!”

The other girl running the register told him she liked his “Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock” shirt so he was in his glory all around (my boy is a big ham).

*Bookstore revisited – Check
*Found Books he wanted – Check
*Still his favorite store – Check
*We could relax & enjoy the rest of our visit – Check

If you are ever in Salem, be sure to visit “Wicked Good Books” – It is “DC-Recommended and Approved” ….

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The GREAT BOOK PURGE of 2014!

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Finally our Town scheduled a “Big Trash” pickup. These pickups used to be an annual event – when I say “event”, I mean an “event”. It was as if a newsletter went out to all of the surrounding towns and as soon as one piece of “big trash” hit the curb, the caravans of cars and pickup trucks descended. DC and I moved to this town 20 years ago, for the school system. At the time this town had the best special education  program in the state. We moved here from a relatively big city, where to be honest, I thought I’d seen everything, until “Big Trash Day” came around, that is…….. I had never seen anything like this… but I digress.

Due to budget cuts, “Big Trash” pickup went from every year to every other, then finally there was no pick up at all.  This year, the town decided to schedule a “Big Trash” event in April. It has been about 5 years since the last one.

As many of you know, DC loves books. His favorite activity is going to the bookstore. I’m sure he averages 3 or 4 visits per month. This means we have hundreds of books squashed in our little house. He has so many, that I really can’t keep track of what he has. If he’s picking out a book at the store, I don’t really remember if he already has it at home and he really doesn’t care if he already has it. Obviously if it is a Disney book, I know he has at least 4 or 5 versions of the particular story but I really can’t remember if he has the version he wants to buy…..or……… I know he HAD it at one time, but we may have gotten rid of it during the last “Big Trash” event. Needless to say, we end up with many duplicates.

His books and his DVDs are two things I will never be able to keep track of.

Because DC “edits” all of his books, they really can not be donated. They are just unreadable to anyone else but DC.

Book Editing

Book Editing

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I have taken some flack over the years for letting DC write in his books because they can not be donated later. This is true, we can not donate them and I am left with a large amount of books that I have to get rid of without breaking the recycling and/or garbage man’s back.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always purchase items based on if or where I can donate them later. If an item can be donated later, it will be.

DC is allowed to write in his own books, he does not write in library books, he does not write in books that do not belong to him.

He is allowed to write in his books because it is beneficial to his language/conversation skills, his vocabulary and his comprehension.

Yes, some of his editing is obsessive. One of the many versions of the “Wizard of OZ” that he owns was an older version where the “Tin Man” was referred to as “The Tin Woodsman”. He went through every single page of the 200-plus page chapter book and colored out (crossing out is not good enough) the word “Woods” on every page, so that it read “Tin Man”.

He also likes his chapter numbers to be written out. Chapter 1 has to be edited to read “Chapter One” and so on. Every other day he will ask, “Mom, would you spell twelve”. I do not know why after all this time he can spell every other number, but not twelve, but for some reason, he can’t. There are many other words he will me to spell but “twelve” is a constant.

Recently ~and I really think this is great because he figured it out by himself ~he has become interested in Roman Numerals.
He figured out that the V means ‘five’, so along with spelling out the chapter numbers, he is also assigning them his version of a Roman Numeral. I say his version because he knows V is 5, so Chapter 13 is edited to read “VIIIIIIII” or sometimes “IIIIIIIIV”. In any case, he is adding 5 (V) + 8 (I’s) to get to 13. He was never big on numbers, so if his own version of Roman Numerals moves his mind into “math mode”, all the better.

The obsessive editing aside, he changes sentences into new sentences that make sense. He changes words into words that mean the same thing. He will ask me from time to time what a word means and then comes up with an edit for that word that means the same thing. He is learning, he is writing full sentences, he is learning what words mean and there’s a little bit of math happening, so YES, I let him write in his books.

The problem has always been just what to do with these books when they begin to take over the house.

It has been suggested, that I should just do a little bit at a time, this way I can throw them in the recycling bin without being the cause of a Workers Comp injury for the trash hauling company.

I can not do just a little bit at a time because:

– DC gets nervous.
– We would be going through the same shelf every week, because as soon as there is a space a book or books gets shoved in it.
– If I went through all of it at one time and just got rid of them a little bit at a time I would still end up with a huge pile of books somewhere in the house and he would slowly begin to add them back into his collection.

I made the mistake of throwing away 9 or 10 books about 15 years ago. They were books I was sure he hadn’t looked at or touched in years, but he knew! For years, until just recently, whenever he left the house to get on the bus for school and then work, his last words to me were “Books are staying here”, every single day.

When I heard there was a “Big Trash Day” scheduled in April, I began getting DC ready. I talked to him about his books everyday until the week of. I explained that we were going to go through all of his books and he would tell me which ones we were going to “keep” or “throw away”. I explained that we would not throw away anything unless it was all right with him. I also explained that we would go through all of his books together and I would not do any of this without him.

We couldn’t start too early, because having the books he opted to throw away hanging around for any length of time would really bother him and he would slowly move them back to the books shelves. We had to have everything out on the curb by Sunday evening, so DC and I started sorting on Thursday night.

We started with his living room book-case. We went through each and every book. I was surprised at the amount of books he decided to throw away. I’m sure he was already planning to replace them a little bit at a time during his many future trips to the book store.

On Friday, I had a medical appointment and I was not allowed to lift anything heavy for the day, so we lost a “sorting day” right out of the gate. On Saturday we started in his room. We were attending a  fundraiser that evening so between the sorting of books I was getting phone calls and texts to look for this and that and people wanting to drop items off for the fundraiser. I started getting anxious about all of these books. This book purge had to be completed today, before 4pm when we left of the fundraiser because DC was spending the night and the next day at his Dad’s – he was going to take DC directly from the fundraiser and I had promised DC that I would not sort or throw away anything with out his approval.

His room took almost all day and in the process, I threw out my back, carrying said books downstairs. Now I thought I would not be going anywhere at all that evening, never mind  getting through all of his books, but DC was a great help.  Going through his room made me feel like I was in an episode of “Hoarders” –  it always does.  It is just amazing how many books he can fit in his little room!

You probably can't see it but there are more stuffed under the coffee table

You probably can’t see it but there are more stuffed under the coffee table

We did it! I told DC over and over again how proud I was of him, so he wouldn’t start getting anxious about all of the books that were going away and because I WAS very proud of him for agreeing to get rid of so many! The following day, Doug came over and hauled them all outside. When DC came home from his Dad’s on Monday morning in time for his transportation to work, they were all gone, so he never gave it another thought.

No worries, though. He has plenty of books left to edit and I assume he is already plotting the replacement all of the books that went away with nice, new clean versions to edit all over again.  These shelves will be over flowing again in a few months time.

DC's room

DC’s room

Livingroom

Living Room

And…… we did find 40 or 50 books that were not
edited and we were able to donate.

Book Store Blues

 

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DC has a favorite bookstore. I mean a very favorite bookstore! It is located in Salem, MA and everytime we visit there – which is quite often, that store must always be one of our first stops. We are spending this weekend in Boston and decided to take a side trip into Salem. DC was excited to go to his favorite book store.
Let me tell you, this place, The Derby Square BookStore has books piled up everywhere. It was always frightening for me. I am always afraid that if he moved just one book the wrong way, everything would come tumbling down on us.

(A few photos from a few years back)

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DC and BB

DC and BB

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But he just loved it!

He loved it so much that his cousin drew a picture of him in the store for Christmas one year.

 

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On our way to Salem today, I said to Doug, and I don’t know why, “Someday we are going to show up at this store and find it gone”.

Jinx…….

We arrived at the store and found a table outside with some books on it, the door blocked by the table, a few people looking at the books outside and a sign that said “Closed! Reopening in June”.

OH NO! (screaming in my head)

DC would not understand this. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t go in. I tried to have him look at all of the books on the table hoping he would find just ONE that he was interested in – but he did not. The new owner saw how upset he was getting. We didn’t have to say anything to her or ask; she shuffled DC and I inside and let him look around. We had to be careful as everything was being boxed up, but honestly we really didn’t have to be any more careful than we always had to be in there.

There wasn’t much that was not already in boxes but he managed to find 3 books.

“Phew, put hand to face” as DC would say.

As I was paying her for his books and thanking her profusely, she told me that she had just purchased the store and that it was going to take a while for her to go through everything, get it all in some sort of reasonable order, and renovate the inside so it didn’t give the impression of the walls caving in on you.

I can’t picture this, but I can’t wait to see it.

I thanked her again. DC thanked her as well. It was such a nice thing for her to do! She has no idea how she single-handedly saved the rest of the day for us! I didn’t get to go into that kind of detail with her because she was busy with other customers. I wish I could have.

Crisis Averted!

Now all I have to do is be sure we do not make any trips to Salem until after June!

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(This post was written quickly and on my phone – I DID wear my glasses, but even so, please forgive any typos, run on sentences …. Etc.)