Flights, Ships, Fears…

As I make preparations for our upcoming vacation I notice that I am more apprehensive than I usually am. I am worried about DC’s seizures. I am worried about being on a ship if he should have a seizure. His doctor informed me that DC should not go swimming or even take baths any more. He seems to be fine with this now, but who knows how he will react once we are there. On the plus side,  DC does not have as much interest in swimming as he used to, so I am hoping it will still be “fine” with him once we are in the warmer weather.

I am also reminded of an airport incident back October 2014. I was angry that the TSA Agents frightened and upset DC. I was more angry that they did not treat him as a human being. After writing the post below and thinking about the situation some more, my anger turned to fear about what COULD have happened.

DC is not aggressive, he never has been… but we never know what someone will do when frightened. DC is terrified of dogs. When a dog he does not know (even a dog he does know) comes at him as dogs often do – his first instinct is to run or hide behind me. His next instinct is to kick. He is not being aggressive or trying to hurt the dog, he is just frightened and wants the dog to go away. It is instinct. It is a reaction, plain and simple.

Having this agent grab him and search him as he did frightened him into the closest thing we’ve had to an actual meltdown in years. I really thought he was heading for one. It took awhile but he was able to get himself together. What if DC, in his frightened state, kicked him or hit him? What if he tried to run away?  What would have happened?

If these people saw fit to treat him this way, KNOWING he is autistic, I am terrified to think of what they would have done if he lashed out at them. I would like to say that I don’t want to think about it, and I really don’t want to think about it, but I have to – of course I have to……..

The more stories and news reports I hear and read, the more fearful I become.

From October 2014 is an excerpt of that post:

Off we go….. (almost)

Flying:

The flight is also making me anxious. I am not one who can ever sleep on a plane, ever. I can’t sit still in those seats. DC, on the other hand is very good on airplanes – now, not so much when he was young – but he is really good now.

DC has flown quite a bit, but this will be his longest flight so far. Security is always a bit overwhelming for him, but he gets through it. As many times as he has flown before, he never had to go through the body scan until our trip in October to North Carolina’s Mountain of OZ.

There were a few times over the years when the security lines were not very busy and I wanted him to go through so I could explain it to him without holding up the line, but as soon as I mentioned “Autism”, they whisked him though the old walk-through before I had the chance to finish my sentence. That was fine, but I really wanted him to do it once in case there was ever a time that we weren’t given the choice. Of course I do explain it all to him while we’re in line and make him watch what everyone else is doing, just in case but as you know, no amount of explaining can take the place of doing.

Heading home from the Charlotte airport – it happened. He had to go through the body scan. As always I explained and showed him what he had to do while waiting in the line. Doug went through first as always and waited on the other side. I was behind DC. The security people saw us giving him instructions and the woman let me get up close so I can show him exactly what to do. He put his feet on the foot prints and raised his arms and waited for them to tell him he was finished. He did a great job.

He turned to walk out of the body scan when the guard on the other side near where Doug was waiting, grabbed DC with absolutely no notice and without saying a word and searched him! It happened too fast for either of us to react! DC was now screaming “Not all right! Not alright!” while I was trying to get through the scan to get to him. Both security guards saw us giving him directions. I told the woman he has Autism. I thought that they ‘got it’. There was no way they could not have seen that maybe they should approach with care or at least say something to him before he was grabbed and patted down.

I finally made it to the other side and DC was still yelling and really could not function – he couldn’t get his shoes and other items off of the conveyor belt – he just continued to yell, fists in the air “Not all right!”. Now all of the other security people in the area were watching as I tried to calm him down. I was praying that none of them would say anything or try to approach him and make matters worse. He was really causing a “disturbance” in the airport. This went on for a good long while. I had him sit down and tried to explain to him that he did everything correctly. The man should not have grabbed him without letting him know first. This was not his fault and he had every right to be upset. Eventually he did calm down and there were no aftershocks on the flight home.

People do at times overlook him completely and direct their questions to me instead of talking to him. I do always ask him the question myself and make sure he gives the person the answer himself. I mentioned earlier in the post that I thought that there was no way on earth that the security guards did not understand even before I explained that DC has Autism.  Now as I think about it, I wonder if they actually did understand and decided that due to his Autism, they did not really need to talk to DC directly at all…… and THAT is a problem.

***

Versions of this post were also published:

On the Mighty: “My Son Did a Great Job at Airport Security. But This Guard Did Not.”

and at The Behavior Station

Clarification, The Mighty and Airport Security

airport

A little over a week ago as I was preparing for a trip to Paris and London, I wrote a post about the preparations and the issue we had with my son during a security check on one of our recent trips. The original post, “Off we go….. almost” can be read here.

At the same time, the Mighty was asking for travel, airline and airport stories. I submitted a portion of the story I had just written about DC and the TSA Agent at the Charlotte Airport back in October. I did not submit a photo because really, what kind of photo would I have to go with that story? The Mighty replied and said that the photo would not be a problem – they would just use clip art.

The Mighty article posted the following day, with the title My Son Did a Great Job at Airport Security. But This Guard Did Not. The clip art they used was one of a little boy holding his passport looking up at a TSA Agent. At the time I thought nothing of it. I know they use clip art. I assumed most people knew that the Mighty often uses clip art.

But then…… I started reading some of the comments! People were outraged that the TSA would send a child through the body scan. It was only then that I realized that the photo used was misleading people into thinking that a small child was forced to go through the body scan AND then grabbed and patted down.

This was partially my fault as well. I am used to writing for MY readers, all of whom know that DC is an adult. The stories I submit to the Mighty are usually excerpts or edited down versions of an original story I have already posted. It does not occur to me to add additional detail. (It will certainly occur to me going forward).

I did feel the need to reply to the comments that were there and explain that my son is an adult. The Mighty, in turn saw my comments and immediately updated the photo and wrote a clarification

The Mighty Hi, Mighty community. We used a stock image for Vickie C.’s photo; her son is an adult with autism. We sincerely apologize for the confusion. As Vickie C. explained in her own comment, “They did not search a child or make a child go through the body scan. They also did not treat my adult son with respect.”

and an apology to me. I know this was not intentional on their part as I said earlier,  I really didn’t think anything of it until I read the comments. The facebook post photo would not update but the clarification was there.

Having said all of that, even after the clarification, my point that my child (Adult son) was treated like a non-person seemed to be lost in the body scan outrage.  My point: I first was confused by their treatment of him knowing he has Autism, actually confused by their treatment of him under any circumstances. After thinking about it and realizing that the fact that he has autism probably was the reason they did not even bother to speak to him or tell him what was going to happen is just plain wrong. This is a problem.

Since the article was posted I have received a few tips regarding airport security and accommodations. I will share them at the end of this post in the event they might come in handy to anyone that may be reading.

I don’t generally look for accommodations for DC. I do always want him to try before looking for an accommodation. If it is something that I know he cannot or will not be able to do, then yes, of course I will check out alternatives. If he is capable to doing it, I want him to do it. Accommodations are not available everywhere, they should be but they are not, so if he can, he will. The only accommodation he needed in this case was enough time for the process to be explained to him without getting too much direction from anyone other than myself – too much direction would only confuse the issue. We had that time, he did well, he listened and went through with no problem.

The treatment on the other side of the scan was totally uncalled for. Putting aside the wrongness of it for a moment, this kind of treatment can actually cause a problem where none would have existed. What if DC lashed out in fear? When he is confronted by a dog (he is afraid of dogs) his first instinct is to kick. What would have happened if, in fear he decided to kick or push or run? DC has never been violent, he has never hurt anyone but one does not know how he will react if frightened. He is a big strong boy. What would have happened then? I don’t want to think about it.

So I’d like to apologize for any miscommunication, but my point was not that DC had to go through the body scan at all. My point was that there was no reason for the treatment he received. The treatment he received could have escalated the situation into something far worse. NO ONE should be grabbed and patted down without a word or an explanation, no matter what age.

Below are some of the tips I received that you might find useful:

Check out The Arc of the US Wings for Autism program that gives families the opportunity to practice at the airport and trains TSA staff about people with disabilities. http://www.thearc.org/wingsforautism

The Arc | Wings for Autism

Is Wings for Autism coming to your city? Keep checking the schedule as more dates are announced…

thearc.org

and TSA Cares:

 Vickie, just read this post and while we haven’t had this exact scenario, separation for us (during the checks) are traumatic. We have had great success using TSA Cares and making prearrangements. We are met by a supervisor, who has a description of our situation and needs / concerns ahead of time. The supervisor escorts us through and stays with us until released after check point. We’ve even had some take us to our gate and ask what else they can do. (Can you say personal escorts with clout.)

I’ve even had a friend use TSA Cares to have his special needs child travel by himself. That boy is not much different than my son and parents were able to go to the gate with this child, and the meeting parent at other end met him at the receiving gate. They were completely satisfied and happy as well and love TSA Cares. It may be a well kept secret but we’ll worth our efforts and money well spent by our government.
We use it every time we fly.

(Please excuse the more-than-average amount of typos – I wasn’t intending to write anything today and this was written very quickly while talking on the phone and looking at proofs – multi-taking is also not one of my strengths)

Off we go….. (almost)

plane I just finished reading a post from Autism-Mom, PREPARATION AND PANIC about the preparations for their big trip coming up – or should I say the “mind-race while one is trying to sleep” -preparations she is making for her family trip.

I had to laugh out loud as I have been doing the same thing. Our trip is just  a couple of days away and along with the “mind-race” and the anxiety about being the absolute worst packer in the world, there is work to contend with.

“We are leaving on Friday, so my last day in the office will be Thursday”

“So you need everything on Thursday?”

“Nooooooo, I need everything before Thursday so I have time to actually finish everything before I leave on Thursday”

We’ll see how that goes…..

We will be traveling to the same place as Autism-Mom and we did compare calendars to see if we could have coffee in London, we discovered we were close but no cigar – we would not be there at the same time.

Packing issues:

As many lists that I make and as many times as I go over everything in my mind, I always forget something. Once, being so proud of myself for not forgetting the one thing I was sure I’d forget, I discovered when we arrived that I did not pack a single shirt for DC – not one!

Then there is me:

I do not have many clothes that fit me because I have gained some weight – shhh. I will not go out and buy new clothes because that would be admitting defeat…. So I have to wait until the very last minute to pack all of my clothes because, you know, I have to wear some of them until we leave.

Flying:

The flight is also making me anxious. I am not one who can ever sleep on a plane, ever. I can’t sit still in those seats. DC, on the other hand is very good on airplanes – now, not so much when he was young – but he is really good now.

DC has flown quite a bit, but this will be his longest flight so far. Security is always a bit overwhelming for him, but he gets through it. As many times as he has flown before, he never had to go through the body scan until our trip in October to North Carolina’s Mountain of OZ.

There were a few times over the years when the security lines were not very busy and I wanted him to go through so I could explain it to him without holding up the line, but as soon as I mentioned “Autism”, they whisked him though the old walk-through before I had the chance to finish my sentence. That was fine, but I really wanted him to do it once in case there was ever a time that we weren’t given the choice. Of course I do explain it all to him while we’re in line and make him watch what everyone else is doing, just in case but as you know, no amount of explaining can take the place of doing.

Heading home from the Charlotte airport – it happened. He had to go through the body scan. As always I explained and showed him what he had to do while waiting in the line. Doug went through first as always and waited on the other side. I was behind DC. The security people saw us giving him instructions and the woman let me get up close so I can show him exactly what to do. He put his feet on the foot prints and raised his arms and waited for them to tell him he was finished. He did a great job.

He turned to walk out of the body scan when the guard on the other side near where Doug was waiting, grabbed DC with absolutely no notice and without saying a word and searched him! It happened too fast for either of us to react! DC was now screaming “Not all right! Not alright!” while I was trying to get through the scan to get to him. Both security guards saw us giving him directions. I told the woman he has Autism. I thought that they ‘got it’. There was no way they could not have seen that maybe they should approach with care or at least say something to him before he was grabbed and patted down.

I finally made it to the other side and DC was still yelling and really could not function – he couldn’t get his shoes and other items off of the conveyor belt – he just continued to yell, fists in the air “Not all right!”. Now all of the other security people in the area were watching as I tried to calm him down. I was praying that none of them would say anything or try to approach him and make matters worse. He was really causing a “disturbance” in the airport. This went on for a good long while. I had him sit down and tried to explain to him that he did everything correctly. The man should not have grabbed him without letting him know first. This was not his fault and he had every right to be upset. Eventually he did calm down and there were no aftershocks on the flight home.

People do at times overlook him completely and direct their questions to me instead of talking to him. I do always ask him the question myself and make sure he gives the person the answer himself. I mentioned earlier in the post that I thought that there was no way on earth that the security guards did not understand even before I explained that DC has Autism.  Now as I think about it, I wonder if they actually did understand and decided that due to his Autism, they did not really need to talk to DC directly at all…… and THAT is a problem.

***

Versions of this post were also published:

On the Mighty: “My Son Did a Great Job at Airport Security. But This Guard Did Not.”

and at The Behavior Station