“The ‘boy’ who waited” …. and waited and waited

(Part 3 of our trip to Rhode Island Comic-Con)

After a fantastic time on Friday night, we ventured back on Saturday, knowing full well that it would be much more crowded and we would not be able to do much more than the photo ops we still had scheduled. Before heading to the photo-op room, we took one more swing by the Supernatural and Walking Dead rooms, just to see if there was anyone there that hadn’t been there on Friday night. Sure enough – there was “Merle”! We got in line. Again, DC does not know who he is and again, he would be acting as my stand in. There were two women in front of us that asked me to take their photo with Merle (Michael Rooker) and of course I obliged. Knowing as we do how DC can not resist a camera, especially one in his mother’s hands; he jumped in the photo with the two women. The more I tried to explain to him that he was next and he needed to move out of the ladies’ picture the more he held his ground and the bigger the smile became. I finally had to go over and take him by the arm away from the picture. Unfortunately it was not my camera or I would have certainly taken a picture of DC photo bombing Michael Rooker, but alas… I only have the one that we took when it was DC’s turn.

We were lucky that we were able to get one of our Saturday ops done on Friday night (Alex Kingston). That was helpful but we still had the scheduling conflict with Jim Beaver and Karen Gillian to contend with.

Jim Beaver was scheduled for 12:45 – 1:15 and the other was scheduled for 12:45 – 1:30. We decided to get Jim Beaver done first. Explaining the conflict to a volunteer in order to find out how early we could get in line for Jim Beaver, I took out my printed, bar coded ticket that clearly stated: “You must present this ticket with the Bar Code and e-mail address visible” to double-check the time I had written on the ticket. She looked at it and told us we could probably get in line at about 12:30. We walked around a bit and went back to get in line at the time she had given us. I gave the same volunteer my ticket and she said “Oh no, we can’t take those paper tickets. You have to get in that line over there and trade them in for cards.”

We had used the paper ticket the night before for Alex Kingston with no problem and there was nothing posted or announced to inform people about trading in their paper tickets. We went and exchanged our paper tickets and got through the Jim Beaver photo-op (a longer story; already covered in Part 1) and moved right on to the Karen Gillian line.

The “line” outside the corralled line went all the way through the arena and through all of the vendor booths. We had to keep checking that we were actually still in the line and not just stuck behind people at the vendor tables. I’m sure the vendors were just thrilled that the line was blocking their tables and customers from getting at their tables.

There were no volunteers around checking to see that people were in the right line or to be sure that people waiting in line were aware of this paper ticket exchange. No one was overseeing any of this at all.

When one is in a line for such a long time, one begins to bond with the people in close proximity. There was a boy in front of us that looked to be about 15 years old. He was with a friend about the same age. We discussed The Walking Dead for quite some time. We discussed our “Glen’ theories (this was during the “Is Glen dead” or “Is Glen under the dumpster” weeks of limbo). I told him that I thought that because they were carrying it on so long that we would find out finally that yes, Glen is alive and because we would all be so happy about that, they would kill him (or Maggie) off very shortly afterwards (that’s my theory and I am sticking to it). Eventually he asked me about how much I paid for the photo-op ticket. I told him I really didn’t remember because I bought it so long ago on-line. He said, “I have 50.00 on me, that should be enough, right?”. This would be the first time my heart broke in this line. I looked at him and said “Please don’t tell me you don’t have a ticket yet.”

He didn’t. He thought he would be able to buy one when he got to the front. He didn’t know that they had to be purchased before getting in the line. He had been in line with us at that point a good 45 minutes. I told him not to get out of line until we could find out for sure. We got the attention of a volunteer to see if he could buy a ticket at the front of the line. He couldn’t. I felt so bad for them! But again, there was no guidance at all. There were no signs, there was no one checking for tickets, there was no one to tell anyone exactly what they were supposed to do.

Somewhere around the hour mark, we made it to the corral and the actual line. This is where the confusion really began. We just stopped moving. The photo-op was way over it’s 45 minute scheduled time. People were now really confused because no one was explaining why we stopped – were we now in line for the next person? Is Karen Gillian gone? While we were all standing there wondering why we stopped moving, we noticed that there was a good number of people sitting up in the bleachers and they were now being directed down to the line. Those 50 or more people were actually ahead of us but there were so many people at the entrance to the corral, it was considered a fire hazard so they had to move them out.

Seriously, what did they expect when they sold probably triple (maybe more) the photo ops that can be taken in a 45 minute session? There were too many people in line. There were people getting in line for whoever was supposed to have that room after Karen Gillian- no one is telling any one what to do. This had to cause scheduling conflicts not only for the attendees but for the celebrities that may have had to be at a panel, or at their tables, or for the people coming to the op rooms next.

We stood in this same spot for another 30 minutes. People were beginning to worry that she would leave before everyone in line made it inside. In front of us was a woman and her two daughters – the second group of people that we bonded with in this line. We talked for a long while and when DC started yelling “I’m out of here!” over and over again, the girls went out of their way to talk him down. We saw pictures of them in their Halloween costumes – all Dr. Who themed. DC enjoyed that. They were wonderful and I believe they were almost solely responsible for keeping him in line.

We finally started to move and made it into the corral. The corral moved quickly and it was the mother and the two little girls’ turn to go in. The mother showed the volunteer her electronic tickets on her phone which earlier in the day she was told would be fine. But in true RI Comic-Con form was told that THEY WERE NOT GOOD. THEY’D HAVE TO GO AND EXCHANGE THEIR TICKETS TOO!!!! An hour and a half in line and no one saw fit to announce this or check with the people in line about this change with the paper and apparently now the electronic tickets?

At this point, the little girl who was so excited to show me her Amy Pond – complete with suitcase and boots (she already had the red hair) – Halloween picture, burst into tears and they left the line. I just stood there in shock! We were next and of course, me being me, could not keep my mouth shut. I screamed at the volunteer collecting tickets. “That girl just stood in this line for an hour and a half and you just made her cry! You can’t just change the ticket procedure and not tell people!” Then…. I noticed him holding a bunch of tickets cards (like we had to exchange our paper tickets for) AND he also had a handful of paper tickets!!!

“And WHY are you holding paper tickets? We were told they were not good and had to exchange them! Why are you taking paper tickets? Why wouldn’t you take the electronic tickets if you are taking the paper tickets that you aren’t supposed to be taking?!”

His reply……

Say it with me….. “I don’t know, I’m only a volunteer.”

There may or may not have been a few choice ‘words’ thrown in his general direction.

We went inside. DC was DONE with this, but even though she was an hour and a half, I believe, over her scheduled time, Karen really did make an effort to chat quickly with him. He really was just too distracted and over it by this time and once again they made him take his glasses off, so that was fun. I was distracted too about little Amy Pond crying and did not intervene as much as I would normally have to redirect him to get him back on track.

We took the picture and left the room but we had to wait for the photo to come out. While Doug waited for the picture, I went on a hunt to find this woman and if she wasn’t going to yell at people to get them back in that line in front of everyone, I was going to yell at people for her. I could not get over the sight of that poor kid bursting into tears.

I could not find them anywhere so DC and I went back to where we had left Doug waiting for the picture. It finally came out and DC seemed happy to see it even though he was not thrilled when he was having it taken. We decided that we had been there quite long enough for that day.

We did have one more op scheduled with Scott Wilson but we already had a photo of him that we took at his table the night before so I had Doug just give it away. I know this was a colossal waste of money but I just couldn’t put DC though that again. He was done and so was I.

We did run into the woman and her girls on the way out and I was happy to hear that they were able to get back in line – IN the FRONT of the line and have their picture taken. I was glad to see her daughter smiling again.

DC ran into a few more princesses on the way out which put him in a much better mood.

And me?

I really still just wanted to find people to yell at.

*****

I do understand that waiting and lines are the norm. We have been to NY Comic-Con which is much larger and of course we waited – of course it was crowded and of course there were lines, but it was just so much more organized. There was no comparison.

****

Next (and last) – on a happier note, his favorite person of the Con.

“Hello Sweetie”

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Part 2 of our recent trip to the Rhode Island Comic-Con….

(from Part 1 – “Don’t You Cry No More” #Supernatural)

(I have a lot to say about our visit to the Rhode Island Comic-Con. Some good; some not so much. Everyone we met was very nice. Now I understand that they are supposed to be, but we all know that it isn’t always the case. There were a few people who were just extraordinarily wonderful to DC, so I want to be sure I mention all of them. Because I have so much to say about the entire event; Autism-related and not, I have decided to split the story up into a few parts, by category rather than in order by the day)

I will say again that I am so glad we went on Friday night just to get the lay of the land for Saturday. It was not crowded at all. We saw and did more that I ever imagined we would get to do – of course this also means that I spent so much more money than I had intended. But how could one pass up all of these people just standing around waiting for the crowds that didn’t come until Saturday?

After leaving the “Supernatural (or the “Don’t You Cry No More”) room, thinking we would not be so lucky as to happen upon another room with people just standing around waiting – we happened upon Scott Wilson.

We had a photo op scheduled with him on Saturday, but I wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. Now, DC has no idea who he is but he was going to be my stand-in for the scheduled photo op as I am just too fat to have my picture taken, so he was delegated as my stand-in here as well.

DC really took a shine to him even though he didn’t know who he was. He was a nice man with grey hair and a beard and that was good enough for him. I took his picture with DC and then he insisted that I get in a shot (a photo that will never see the light of day). Also in the Walking Dead room was Seth Gilliam – DC does not know him either, but he was happy to have his picture taken (still standing in for Mom) – he is always happy to have his picture taken.

Technically we were there to figure out where everything was in anticipation of the crowds on Saturday and we could already see that there was no information readily available. It was very important to DC that we find one particular person before the weekend was done. We asked THE only Volunteer that would prove to be helpful during this entire weekend. He gave us directions to another area that we never would have found on our own (more about his favorite person in another installment). While walking around this area we came upon Alex Kingston’s table. This was the one and only table where we found a line that entire night. We did have a photo op scheduled for the following day, but we got in line anyway. This was one of the very few times that our VIP tickets came in handy and they whisked us to the front. At this point DC was so excited he began squealing and stimming. She and most of the people in line seemed to be getting a kick out of just how excited he was. Fortunately there was a table between her and him because if there hadn’t been, he would have headed straight for all of that hair. She signed his photo with “Hello, Sweetie”, which just sent him further over-the-top with his squealing. We left the table with DC yelling and waving “Good-bye” to her and then of course a big “Good-bye everybody” complete with a bow, to the rest of the people in line.

We walked around a little bit more. DC stopped quite a few random people in costume and insisted on having his picture taken with them. Most of the people he stopped were dressed as princesses and they all obliged.

I decided that we should try to find the photo op area so we would not spend Saturday searching. We did eventually find it. They were holding the photo ops in the arena – it was large enough but it was also full of vendors. We looked around at some of the vendor tables and noticed that the schedule on the wall (the only information available about anything was the current photo op schedule and the panel schedules) was showing that Alex Kingston was in one of the photo op rooms right then. We had a ticket for the following day, but due to the many conflicts on Saturday, I thought it would make my life so much easier to be able to get at least one out of the way on Friday. It never hurts to ask, right? There was NO ONE in line, no one – really – that was just how dead it was there on Friday night. While DC was checking out an Anna (Frozen) doll at one of the vendor booths, Doug went over to ask. He came back with a “yes”.

As we walked over to the “booth”, I reminded DC not to touch her hair.

DC: “No touch the hair”

Me: What is the other rule?

DC: “Don’t pick up the people”

They took the paper ticket with no problem.

When he got inside the curtained area, he immediately began squealing.

Alex: Well, Hello Again!” (who would not remember this boy squealing at your table earlier that evening?)

DC: “Hello There!” (another bow)

Since there was no one else in line, there was time for a little bit of small talk between them. She also commented on his shirt, which made him extremely happy!

He was able to control himself enough to give her a hug without breaking her back, grabbing her hair or (Phew) picking her up!

Needless to say, he was quite the happy guy when we left the venue on Friday night! He had such a great night all around there on Friday. It could not have been more perfect for him.

No crowds, no lines and River Song twice in one night. What could be better?

*****

There was one person that could and did make his night even more awesome….. More about that in another installment….

So long 2015 – My Year In Review

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Miami – New Years Eve 2014

Last year around this time I received an e-mail from WordPress of my year in review. I haven’t received that yet so I decided to just wing it. I do realize that the stats are a bit off because my Instagram friends have to hit my home page for each post and there is no way to determine what posts were there at the time. “Home Page/ Archives” being number 1 (technically) – let’s move on….

#10: A post from the very first #1000speak

“And those whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball” #1000speak

I was not going to participate in #1000speak today because and only because, if given a subject and then told; “Okay write!”, I draw a blank. I was sure that in a week or two I would think of a hundred different posts that I could have written, but they were not coming to me when I first heard about this. [..]

#9: A post about DC’s love of cake ….apparently.

As I wrote in a comment; I thought that was going to be a quick post to write but it turned out to be very difficult. I wanted to give enough information so people would not come away thinking that DC is afraid of his Dad, which is absolutely not the case. But again I didn’t want the post to go on and on. It was a struggle from beginning to end.

“Will there be Cake?”

DC’s father was in Florida for the winter. He left in mid-November. DC did get to see him on the day after Christmas for dinner when DC, Doug and I were in Florida on vacation. [..]

#8: Written to clarify one of my posts that created a bit of a “#%&* Storm” (a minor one) over on the Mighty.

In this case I was glad to have read the comments so that the whole thing could be corrected.

Clarification, The Mighty and Airport Security

A little over a week ago as I was preparing for a trip to Paris and London, I wrote a post about the preparations and the issue we had with my son during a security check on one of our recent trips.

At the same time, the Mighty was asking for travel, airline and airport stories. I submitted a portion of the story I had just written about DC and the TSA Agent at the Charlotte Airport back in October [..]

#7 – A rerun, basically.

I was surprised that this made it into the top 10. It was really just a rerun with the addition of a bit of a vent.

Holy Inappropriate Conversation, Batman! – Stories from the Dental Chair

I had a dental appointment last week. Years ago, I requested never to be scheduled with one particular hygienist. The first time I saw her, I left there feeling as if my mouth had been ripped apart. As it turned out, she has a child with autism. I made the mistake of telling her that DC also has autism. Mistake? Yes! Mistake! This was the most uncomfortable and painful appointment I have ever had! [..]

#6 – One of my favorites!

This was the first “official” post in my “Everything is Related” Series – and there are so many more that I have yet to write (7 months later; I still have not written “Everything is Related – The UK Edition”, but I did manage to cover the Dr. Who portion – Priorities!)

Everything is related – Mary Poppins to New York City

I threatened in an earlier post – a few of them as a matter of fact – I would someday write about how, in DC’s world, everything is somehow related to Disney or some of the other movies he enjoyed as a child and still enjoys now as an adult. Originally I thought this would just be a fun post to write, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized: [..]

#5 – Another post for #1000speak.

According to the “My Top Posts and Pages” feed on the sidebar of my page, this one comes in at #1 (I do not really understand the difference in the feed and the stats – maybe someone who understands this will explain it to me)

…and sometimes a smile is all that we need #1000speak #Compassion

Compassion comes in many forms and at times just the smallest thing – a glance or a smile can mean more than the grand gesture.

I was away and not able to participate in the May 20th #1000speak and due to some unplanned/unforeseen issues going on at the moment, I thought I wouldn’t have the opportunity to participate this time around…..

Then I saw this post from a friend of mine and it made me smile. It made me smile each and every time I read it and on a day when I really needed a smile. [..]

#4 – Remembering the torture that used to be – Birthday Parties

“Arrival Anxiety”

“Arrival Anxiety” – that is what I have always called it. It is, in my mind the best way to describe it.

It does not matter where we are going or how often we have or haven’t been there – it happens. I see the change in his demeanor immediately. It happens so quickly – like walking though a door; on one side he is happy and the other side he is full of anxiety.

I always dreaded the birthday party invitation when he was little. [..]

#3 – No explanation required….

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end.”

Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end.” ~ Mr. Spock

From the post that I re-blogged yesterday: To Boldly Go…..

I admit it…

I am just a big old Sci-fi geek from way back. I watched the first episode of Star Trek back in 1966/1967 (?) and I was hooked – for life.

The first “sign” that DC learned when he was very young (for those of you that may not know, DC was non-verbal until he was 7 years old) was the “Live Long and Prosper” sign. If and when he saw a picture of Mr. Spock or heard him mentioned, he used that sign.

I’ve been in love with Star Trek and Mr. Spock since the very first episode aired back in the 60’s. [..]

#2 – A post about the way DC’s mind works

and the realization that I am still guilty of taking for granted that he will just automatically understand something – for example… after years of wearing goggles for Special Olympics Swimming he finally realized that he could open his eyes in the water. It never occurred to me to tell him that – but that was another story…

Please pass the garlic bread…

It is always funny when I realize something that has never occurred to DC, until it does finally does occur to him.

For those that may not be aware – DC LOVES bread! Bread, bread, bread, bread and more bread. Bagels, rolls, toast, breadsticks……BREAD!

He is very picky about everything else he eats – not that you would know that by looking at him – believe me he is very picky, but bread is one of the few constants on the very limited list of foods that he will eat. [..]

And coming in at #1 – A miserable experience at the airport….

Off we go….. (almost)

I just finished reading a post from Autism-Mom, PREPARATION AND PANIC about the preparations for their big trip coming up – or should I say the “mind-race while one is trying to sleep” -preparations she is making for her family trip.

I had to laugh out loud as I have been doing the same thing. Our trip is just a couple of days away and along with the “mind-race” and the anxiety about being the absolute worst packer in the world, there is work to contend with. [..]

So there you have my 2015 blogging year in review but now just a quick look back a little further…

The top post from 2013 was written about the first season of summer camp post high school.

This was the first season that DC was not able to attend camp for the entire summer due to his work program. It made me sad. It was a milestone that I was not ready to reach.

We can’t have it both ways…. but it’s still a little bit sad.

Today was my son’s first day attending day camp this summer. He has attended this camp since he was 5 – he’s 22 now.

Every summer he was able to attend camp all summer long, even staying after until 8pm for a special after camp program they hold twice a week. He loves it there. [..]

The Top Post from 2014 and according to WordPress, the day it was posted is still my all-time “best day ever” – A post about the end of another era….

Dc’s Letter to His Best Buddy, Steve

DC has been involved in the Best Buddy program, since he was in middle school. Steve has been DC’s Buddy for the past three years. As I’ve told him many times, he is the best, most involved Buddy DC has ever had. Steve will be graduating from college this May. He will be either heading to Boston or back home. In either case, he will not be living close by any more. We will be sorry to lose him. DC will be assigned a new Buddy next year and that buddy has very big shoes to fill! [..]

Just to make this post even more ridiculously long…. a few of my favorites.

My favorites change quite often, but right now – “these are them” in no particular order and from no particular year:

“To Sami, Love Daddy”

File under: “Rules I thought I would never have to make”

But does he know?

“Hi Mom! Did you have a nice day?”

And just to end the year on an even happier note – search engine referrals; search terms that bring people to my page?

Still reigning as the number 1 search term (s) for 2015 – many combinations regarding Star Trek and Mr. Spock!

So, Happy New Year everyone. Thank you so much for reading over these past 3 years.

DC and I wish you all a Happy and Healthy 2016!

#LLAP

***

I have now received the WordPress email. My top 5 (as far as they go) matches theirs.

The “Chip” Cup

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

There once was a pretty little Easter Cup.

This cup went unnoticed for many years until one day when DC decided that all this cup needed was a face. This cup with its new face was to be named “Chip”. Chip, of course being the chipped cup and son to the tea-pot, Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast. Every day Chip’s face washed off in the sink and every day DC drew it back on.

He used this cup every single day.

Last year around Christmas time I thought how great would it be if I could find him a real Chip Cup. My first stop, as always was Amazon and there is was. It was quite expensive for a cup, but in comparison to DC’s usual requests for items that don’t exist or items that I have to find on EBay (usually a collectables), costing a fortune – was a deal.

I read the description and the reviews to be sure that this was something that was intended to be used as a cup and not just decorative and purchased it.

He was so excited to open the gift and find this cup on Christmas morning. He loved it and like the old Easter/Chip cup, used it every day.

One day in August not too long after DC had his second seizure, I was washing his Chip cup and happened to notice it said “Made in China” on the bottom.

Me, being me panicked.

Me, being me completely went over the top with my panic.

I bought this from Amazon. What if the person selling this cup had it in stock or sitting around for years? What if the cup contained lead paint – because, of course everything that goes wrong HAS to be completely my fault. Yes, I know that this is highly unlikely and yes I know that they would not allow a seller to sell this item with lead paint, but..

me, being me threw his beloved Chip cup away right there and then.

This did not go over very well…… at all.

It took a few months, but I thought he had finally gotten over the loss of his Chip cup. Then December came and it was time to make his Christmas list and there it was……

He had not forgotten….

Not really thinking I would find another until possibly the next time we were actually in Disney World, I went to the Disney Store site and there it was. Once again, I read the description and the reviews to be sure that it was not for decoration only and purchased it – directly from Disney; no third sellers involved. I felt much more at ease about that.

He was ecstatic and has not let it out of his sight since.

And the poor lonely Easter cup has been relegated to the back of “Cup-board” (DC-speak) never to be drawn on again….

****

If the cup was not of such a decorative nature, I would not thought anything about the “made in China” label. Most of our other cups were made in China.

These Three

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

These Three…. they are truly amazing. As their parents, my friends and I know this. We know the progress they have all made. Sometimes though in dealing with the day-to-day, we do not always remember the journey until someone who has not seen them in quite a while points it out.

We lived it all but we tend to concentrate on the here and now and the future – how we got here is not always uppermost in our minds. We deal with today.

Last week we ran into our kids’ Special Olympics swimming coach at a Best Buddies Christmas Party. She was there with another friend of ours. She has recently moved out-of-state so she was filling us in on what she has been up to since her move. She was also their volleyball and golf coach for many years as well so she has been a part of our kids’ lives for quite a long time – since they were very young.

As she was watching our kids at the party, she commented on just how much progress they had made over the years. DC’s friends stories are not mine to tell, but her comments about DC made me sit back and really think about just how far he (and his friends) have come. As she watched him socialize in this crowded room she said “Who would have ever thought that he would be able to sit in this room and tolerate the crowd and the noise?” She was right; attending this activity would not have been a pretty sight back then. Never mind the noise, he would have never been so social with anyone of his own age or anyone but me for that matter. Then there were the times when I really should have just thrown in the towel and not taken him to practice at all. Now-a-days we can pretty much go anywhere with out too much of an issue.

She knew us and she knew our kids inside out. She always went out of her way to make the process as easy as possible for us and most importantly, for our kids. Special Olympics lost a fantastic coach, when they lost her due to her work and school commitments.

These Three have been through a lot both separately and together. We have all hit some potholes along the way; some deeper than others, but for the most part we have traveled this road together. It is nice to sit back and remember this very long journey that they have taken with each other. They have grown into amazing young adults and yes, we know this, but it is always nice to have someone point it out and bring it all back for you.

Although the stories of his friends are not mine to tell, I will say that I am as proud of them as I am of him. As we live with new and different struggles and challenges, we should take the time to remember just where we all started and all that These Three have accomplished over the years.

There has been so very much.

Sometimes is just takes someone else to help us remember.

And we should remember and we should be proud of all of it.

These Three………….

They are impressive.

They are amazing.

Easing my “Elf Envy” with ornaments and clues….

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

DC is most definitely what I would call the ultimate ornament collector. In 2013, I decided that I would start hiding them around the house to make receiving new ornaments more interesting and to ease the “Elf Envy” I was feeling by not participating in the whole Elf on the Shelf thing.

He did so well with the random hunting of ornaments by the end of that season that last year I decided to make it even more interesting by leaving clues instead of just hiding the ornaments for him to happen upon. It took a little while for him to get it, but he did and I think he had some fun with the hunt.

Below is a post from 2014 – our first attempt at hunting ornaments with clues. We have already begun our hunt this season and at this point, really all I have to say is “Here’s a clue” and he knows there is an ornament to be found somewhere.

Ornament Hunt 2014 (and one Elf on the Shelf)

As I wrote in an earlier post (There’s no elf on our shelf), I do not do the whole elf on a shelf thing with DC, but last year we did start a new tradition of hiding and hunting for the numerous ornaments he receives each year before Christmas.
Last year being the trial run, I discovered he was just not noticing them as I assumed he would, so I began writing notes each time I hid an ornament. By Christmas he was getting the hang of it. This year I decided I would not only leave a note, but also a clue. Coming up with clues that he would understand was not easy and I have to admit my clues need work – below is our 2014 Ornament Hunt –
Complete with some pretty terrible clues – so don’t judge.

#1 Elsa hidden on the shelf of his DVD cabinet

There is a new ornament for you to find.. I hid it very well. If you should find it after you watch your movies, please give me a yell”

(he thinks I’m funny, anyway)

~That was the last attempt in rhyming for the season.

#2 Mary Poppins in the silverware drawer.

There is a new ornament to be found: Just a SPOONFUL of Sugar helps the Medicine go down. What do you use to help the medicine go down?”

#3 Baloo and Mogli on the towel hook

He found Baloo and Mogli before I had the chance to leave a clue….

#4 Tinkerbell in the drawer

Oh No! Tink is stuck in the bedroom drawer!”

Yes, I thought I was just giving this one away. I thought so anyway…. As it turns out, because I didn’t mention an ornament in the note – he read it, put the paper down and went about his business. When I finished laughing, I explained that he had to look for his new Tinkerbell ornament.

#5 Sully hanging on the lamp

Sully must be very “BRIGHT” to attend Monsters University. Where is it Bright in the living room?”

It was right here that it finally clicked. He read it (no mention of an ornament) thought about it and without me having to help, looked around at the Christmas tree lights, moved on to the lamps and found it.

—–Progress, Progress, Progress——

#6 Ruby Slippers on his bedroom shelf

Cordelia clicked her heels three times in Pylea “There’s no place like home” she said.

It didn’t work.

Who went to Pylea to save Cordelia?”

He understood the question and gave me an answer – he was really beginning to get this. The only prompting I had to give was “Do we have Angel and Lorne somewhere in our house?”

(Unfortunately, our Lorne lost his head after his last fall from the shelf, but in keeping with the theme of the hunt; he did actually lose his head temporarily while the gang was in Pylea. He just had much better luck getting it back in Pylea than he did in DC’s room)

#7 An Elf of a shelf

Your ornament is

L O S T

so take a look around to find Buddy the Elf sitting on a shelf.

Where is the L O S T shelf in the living room?”

First, let me say – There is an elf on the shelf.

Secondly, I thought this clue might be a stretch for him. That DVD set has been on this same shelf since the show went off the air. This in no way means that DC notices it at all, but I gave it a shot.

Believe it or not, he went right to it. I am always amazed by the things he notices when I think he is paying no attention at all.

#8 Brady Bunch on the wall

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow And they knew it was much more than a hunch, That this group must somehow form a family. That’s the way we all became the Brady ‘Bump’.

Where does Doug do the ‘Brady BUMP’?”

This one needs a little it of an explanation….. Doug sings this song, he’s done it for years. He sings the Brady Bunch theme but replaces Brady Bunch with Brady Bump and crashes into the wall.

– insert my eyes rolling –

DC thinks it is the funniest thing in the world and asks him ‘crash and repeat’ – over and over again.

“One more time!”

– insert eyes rolling and head shaking –

This happens to be the spot where the singing and the wall where the crashing takes place more often than not.

-insert, as DC would say, “Mom, put hand to face” (hand on forehead, as in OMG), shaking head, heavy sigh and eye roll-

Again he went right to the spot. Once it all clicked, it clicked!

#9 TARDIS on the clock

Dr. Who is a T I M E Lord. – He and the TARDIS traveled through T I M E hoping for a spot on your tree.

Where can we find the T I M E?”

I am 100% positive he would have gotten this with the clue I left. I hid this ornament while he was out with Mrs. H. at his theater volunteer Christmas Party and forgotten about it by the time they arrived home, when I would have guided him to the clue before he had the chance to run around putting his things away.

He spotted it and went over to take it down. I said “Oh, you didn’t get to read the clue”, so of course, he put it back. I told him he didn’t have to put it back, but all things in order; he went and read the clue out loud, then went back to claim his ornament.

#10 Princess Merida in the TARDIS

Princess Merida must be very BRAVE to take a ride with DR. WHO, ROSE and K-9 in the TARDIS.

Where is ROSE and the TARDIS?”

I realized that I did not think this one through completely – He just received a TARDIS ornament a few days before. I was sure he would head straight to the ornament now hanging on the tree. I was correct in my assumption, he went to the tree. After a little bit of prompting “But where else do we have the TARDIS? Where is Rose and K-9?” , he did find it.

I still felt he should still have a few to just happen upon as he did or as I tried to have him do last year, hidden in places that I knew he would go eventually.

: Mickey and Minnie in the snack bin

: The Chipmunks Record Player on his CD player

: Tiana in the vegetable bin

: Sleeping Beauty on the headboard

Trial run of 2013, over. I am declaring the 2014 Ornament Hunt a success!

Just to update you on my friends’ progress this year. As I said, if I am not going to do it, they very well better be creative about their elf!

~ Yes, it is hard to be my friend……..

Year 2 of “The harassment of *Al” – my constant badgering to hide elf in a Rice Krispies box. (I’d seen photos, I e-mailed, texted and showed him photos and nothing). Finally he decided he would use this as one of his Elf setups. Geez!

He texted his wife while she was out shopping and asked her to buy Rice Krispies. She replied that she had Crispy Rice. He told her he wanted the real Rice Krispies. She asked why and he said he wanted to make Rice Krispie(s) treats. (Why he wouldn’t tell her what he really wanted them for, I do not know).

She bought Crispie Rice.

I told him that I had just seen a photo of someone using a Crispie Rice box, I had actually e-mailed it to him a few days before, but he said it would not be the same.

The following morning when I was getting DC’s breakfast ready it occurred to me that I had a box of the ‘real’ Rice Krispies, so I took the cereal out and brought him the empty box.

And there you have it!

*Geri has also done a few very creative things with Derek the Elf, but still being in the training portion of the program, she has not gotten the hang of remembering to take a photo of everything Derek gets himself into.

~Maybe next year

The Santa Train revisited….

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

December, is the time for reruns. I love reruns, especially holiday reruns. The following is a post from December 2014 about the important lesson DC and BB learned while riding the Santa Train.

******

Lessons learned on the “Santa Train”

(Code word of the day: “Supplement”)

The other day, I read a post from one of my favorite bloggers, Autism-Mom. The post, FEELING THE MAGIC was about her son questioning the existence of Santa Claus. Give it a read if you have a minute, it is wonderful.

As parents, we all come to this crossroad sooner or later. It is a sad milestone. It begins to be difficult for them to understand and believe in something that they can not see. Sure we see Santa and his helpers quite often during the months before Christmas, but never during his Christmas Eve deliveries. This causes our children to question his existence. Why can’t they see him? Why must they be asleep? As I explained to DC, Santa has a job to do. If he took the time to stop and visit with the children in every house he delivered gifts to, even with his magic, he would never be able to finish in time to get back to the North Pole to celebrate Christmas with Mrs. Claus and the elves.

It took DC many years to understand Santa. He knew he would receive gifts, but the whole idea of Santa was not something that could be understood easily. His not understanding, did not stop Santa from leaving him gifts.

When it finally clicked and he did finally get it, he was all in! Now that he does understand, he would never and will never question his existence.

The one problem was, DC ‘s Christmas requests have always been small (in size) gifts. Santa could very well bring him 20 DVD’s, but the pile of gifts (visually) would be very small. DC doesn’t understand cost/size vs. number of gifts. He expects a very big pile of gifts. So, over the years I would always “supplement” the Santa pile with gifts of my own.

Being a single mother for more than 20 years now, I am the sole “supplement-or” (yes, I know that is not a word) of DC’s gifts. Which means I not only “add” to what Santa brings just to make the pile look more exciting for DC, but I also, of course, have to buy additional gifts from ‘Mom’. This gets to be a little bit overwhelming for me, not only in cost, but in trying to come up with other gifts ideas to make that “pile” he needs to see.

Now that DC is an adult, and the items he asks for are smaller still, it is becoming harder and harder to “supplement” Santa’s gifts, to make that Christmas gift pile”, I did finally have to confess to him that some parents, with adult children, have to help Santa out a little bit. Santa has so many little children to deliver packages to on Christmas Eve, that it is hard for him to get to everyone. So now that the is an adult, Santa only delivers his stocking and the rest of the gifts in his pile are from Mom. Santa always did a pretty good job with his stocking, by the way. He was fine with this. As long as Santa is coming, even just to bring a stocking, all is well.

Coincidentally, the morning I read the post from Autism-Mom, was the day that DC, his best friend, BB, BB’s Dad, Doug and I were going to take a ride on the Santa train.

Earlier this week, BB had just been told by one of his other friends that he was too old and should not still believe in Santa. He was upset by this, but BB knew better. He knew he was correct in believing.

Both DC and BB were very excited about riding the train. They always have the best time when they are together anyway.

Santa boarded the train a few minutes into our trip. He received more hugs that he expected, I imagine.

BB mentioned to Santa, what his friend had said to him that week. Santa took a little bit of time to talk about it with BB and DC.

(This video below is very poor quality – it was dark on the Santa train, but you can hear some the conversation and Santa’s advice to BB)

“Those who don’t believe, well they are the one’s that are missing out” ~ Santa Claus

So there you have it, straight from Santa’s mouth. BB felt much better. He knew it before but now he really knows that he was right all along…

Will it go round in circles – Paperwork and “Please Press One”

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

or: “For No Help What-So-Ever; Please Press #1”

Paperwork..,,,

and Contact Numbers that rarely bring one to an actual person…. “Please press One”

or “Please complete this form. A form that you or no one you know will ever be able to understand – we do not even understand the form and can not help you in any way, but we do expect you to be able to complete it by…..”

Not a fan of the paperwork. (click here for a fun romp through our state’s system)

Not a fan of the mountains of unnecessary mail that comes my way.

This (4 page) letter is to inform you that you have been assigned a new contact – Effective immediately, your new contact is: Customer Service at 555-5555.

Is it really necessary to send a 4 page notice at a cost of close to $2.00 in postage to both DC and myself to inform us that our new contact is “Customer Service”? Especially since the last 4 times we were notified of a new case manager their name just happened to be “Customer Service” as well.

I have developed a real aversion to opening my mail – ask anyone that has ever seen my kitchen table. Fortunately it is only DC and I that have to use the kitchen table , so there is still room enough for us, for now.

I have been a single mother for about 22 years so all of this paperwork has always fallen to me. In my opinion, the paperwork got worse and more confusing after DC turned 18. At this point, I am used to it and it is more annoying than anything else. Why do we have to do the whole probate thing every three years? Is it to make certain that DC still has autism? Two redeterminations every year, a social security report once a year and an audit anytime they feel like it. Reporting his wages every month – which really is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things – but sitting though that automated system can drive one to want to ‘slam head on table’. There is an app for this now and when it is working, is much easier. When it is not working we have to resort to the ‘slam head on table’ automated system. After using the app or the ‘SHOT’ system, I receive 2 letters, one for me and another for DC, thanking me for reporting his wages and an estimate of his upcoming benefits. Later in the month I receive two more with the actual amount of his benefits. Four letters every month at more than 1.00 in postage each. It seems like such a waste of money and resources to me, but what do I know?

DC’s father’s only contribution since DC turned 18 is health insurance. He retired from the police force before the pending contract took effect when they would have had to begin to contribute for dependent coverage, so as it stands DC is covered at no charge.

A few weeks ago, I received a letter from the insurance company. It was a good sized envelope – more than one page, I was sure – so I let it sit for about a week or so. I finally decided that I really should open it since I don’t normally get mail from the insurance company. The insurance is not in my name so the mail usually goes directly to his Dad. His insurance is one of the few things that we really have not had any issues with over the years.

What would normally happen here is:

I would read the whole thing –
Give it to his father the next time he came to pick up DC –
Explain what is was all about –
Explain in detail what he had to do to take care of it.

But….. I had just finished DC’s redetermination (a good 10 pages) and completed another redetermination over the phone at 7:00 am on a Saturday morning (yes, they called at 7am on a Saturday because they were “working overtime” which, I assume must mean that if they are up and working everyone else should be), so after reading one paragraph, I decided I was just not going to read it at all. I would just give it to his Dad.

From the paragraph I did read I gathered that this was about DC’s ER visit after his first seizure in June. I also surmised that they were not willing to pay the amount that the ER doctor had charged for the visit.

I gave him the letter the next time he arrived to pick up DC. He looked confused – just staring at the pages. I did tell him that I was boycotting paperwork that was not mine but did explain to him what I thought it was all about…. reasonable and customary etc.

So off he went straight on into his first foray through the world of paperwork, forms and 1-800 numbers.

The following week he came back so beside himself at the amount of time he had spent calling numbers that provided no information at all. He was convinced that they were just sending him ’round in circles.

I had to laugh – not at him,

…maybe just a little…

but at how perplexed he was over all of this. Until then he did not realize just how much nonsense I and others have to go through just to have a question answered – just to talk to a person. And this was just the insurance, not any of the agencies that we all have to deal with.

He said that he did actually get to speak to one person who gave him yet another number to call that turned out to be some sort of factory in Minnesota.

He was done at this point (and yes, I was still laughing, not at him – well maybe a little – but at his reaction to the whole thing – it was all new to him).

He left me with a stamped self addressed envelope (because he was leaving for Florida for the winter the following day) to send him any bill that I might receive so he can just pay it. He was so beside himself that he was willing to just give up and pay whatever they wanted in order to never have to call them again.

That may have been their plan all along…

and welcome to my world…..

Still no elf on our shelf

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

In observance of the official start of the Christmas season (in DC’s eyes, anyway) – the day that the tree must go up and his hundreds of ornaments hung anywhere he can fit them; is a post from the same time last year. Although, much to my surprise DC did pick out an Elf on the Shelf ornament for the tree further into the season last year – there is still no Elf on our shelf.

THERE IS NO ELF ON OUR SHELF….

I have never attempted “Elf on the Shelf” with DC. It looks like fun but I am not quite sure that he would “get it”, and if he did, I would be terrified to ruin the whole thing by forgetting to move the elf every day. Unfortunately, the anxiety of forgetting is still never a guarantee that I will remember when it was time for Elf to move to a different spot. Then, as *Geri said to me on Wednesday, “I don’t know where I put Derek the Elf last year. I have to find him by tomorrow” – I would always be in that same boat – I am notorious for putting things away that are never to be seen again.

Not participating does not stop me from harassing my two co-workers with clever photos of Elf ideas that I come across. If I am not going to do this, then they darn well better get creative about it for their kids. I mean someone should use the ideas that I would have used if Elf lived in our house, right?

(please pass the “pressure”)

Last year, Elf seemed to be everywhere. I do not know if it had become more popular or if it was due to the fact that two of my friends/co-workers, *Al and *Geri were elf’ing it for their children and that many of my instagram friends were posting daily photos of elf and his/her activities at their house. Whatever the reason, I found myself feeling guilty not having done this for DC.

After thinking about it for a while, trying to come up with something else to do in place of Elf, something that didn’t depend 100% on my memory – I thought about his love for Christmas ornaments and our annual “ornament ritual” and came up with an idea.

DC loves ornaments. He always did. When I come across an ornament of a character, book, food or object that he loves, I buy it and save it for Christmas. Our tree generally goes up the day after Thanksgiving. DC loves going through all of his ornaments and hanging them on the tree. He is at the point now where he can unwrap and hang them all himself. He has accumulated so many over the years that there is no longer room for any other ornaments on the tree – my Star Trek collection has not seen the light of day in many years.

Kirk, out!

Depending on the amount of ornaments I have stockpiled ahead of time each year, one is placed under the tree every few days. DC knows that if the gift is wrapped in aluminum foil, he has permission to open it.

I decided I might try hiding the ornaments around the house every few days. In making up this new tradition, there were no rules and appointed times that I needed to adhere to. I decided I would not tell him about this hunt, but I would hide the fist one or two new ornaments in places where he could not possibly miss seeing them, until he got used to not finding them under the tree.

I hid the first ornament on the shower rod, knowing there was no way possible that he could miss this. If he didn’t see it the second he walked into the bathroom, then he would definitely see it the moment he looked in the mirror. There was no way he could ever miss this ornament!

He missed it……

It hung there the entire day. He even took a shower and did not notice it. Finally I had to tell him that I thought I saw a new ornament hanging in the bathroom – only then did he find it.

I hid a new ornament the following day. It was sitting right on top of the shoe basket. One of the first things DC does when he walks in the house is take his shoes off. There was no way he would not see this one.

He didn’t…….

This was not going as well as I expected. He was happy as he always is to receive a new ornament, but the whole surprise of just happening upon a new ornament was not what I’d hoped it would be. I just about had to point them out to him. I could have just continued on with the ‘aluminum foil package under the tree’ tradition.

I decided I would leave a note each time there was an ornament to be found.

This helped in his search, but still, the ornaments that were right out in the open and visible seemed to be the most difficult for him to find.

For a child that never misses anything, he was missing a lot.

Even odder – the ornaments that were hidden well out of plain sight, were found almost immediately, before reading the notes or clues. He went right for them.

By the time Christmas rolled around and the last ornament was hidden and found, he had finally gotten the hang of it. He was having fun with it.

So, we’ll chalk last year up to a ‘trial run’. Here’s hoping this year I can get a little bit more creative with the hiding places and maybe leave clues instead of plain old notes. But still, our new tradition is not Elf on the Shelf – funny how these silly, little things can make one feel so guilty.

My stockpile this year does include a “Buddy the Elf” ornament which will be hidden on the shelf.

That counts, right?

***

(this post was originally run in November 2014)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted by TakingItAStepAtATime

Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving…..

Someone I know is looking very forward to a turkey leg –

or “Chicken with bones and sprinkles”

-although I’m sure the wings will do in a pinch.

It’s all about the bones.

But bones aside, right now he would just like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Two Years ago – “I Love you, Mom” (Just a little Thanksgiving Quickie)

(November 2013)

DC flashing the I Love you Sign as he does almost anytime he walks by me.

Who would not be thankful for this wonderful child who will just flash me the “I Love You” sign, just because he happens to be walking by or just randomly peek around the corner to say “I love you, Mom”.

Happy Thanksgiving…….