Long beautiful hair.. Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there – hair – Shoulder length or longer- Here baby, there mama
Everywhere……. daddy daddy – HAIR….
We tried. We really did. But we had to admit defeat and throw in the towel……
DC has always had very thick and very curly hair. For most of his life he’s kept it short, very short – a buzz cut. This style came about only because his Dad would take him for the day and he would come home with a shaved head – I was ever consulted, his Dad just shaved his head. After awhile we just got used to doing it this way I guess and hey, one less appointment for me to make and one less thing for me to do.
The ‘Dad-cuts’ began when DC was little. Getting a haircut was next to impossible – disastrous, so his Dad just started cutting his hair and just continued on through the years from there. DC has been to the barber plenty of times in-between the ‘Dad-cuts’ and he is well over the haircut meltdowns of the past. He actually likes going to the barber when I take him, but still he comes home with a shaved head from his Dad’s house.
I may have mentioned before that DC’s Dad left for Florida in mid-November for the winter. This means that DC has not seen him and has not gone to his house one day or evening a week and of course he has not had his head shaved.
Somewhere in early December I mentioned to DC that it was time for a haircut. His reaction surprised me.. “No! No, Mom! No haircut! PLEEEEASE!” (complete with begging hands). I’m sure he assumed he’d be getting a ‘Dad-cut’. It never occurred to me that no one had ever asked him if he wanted his head shaved. He is an adult after all and should be allowed to have a say in things like this.
So, okay, we gave it a try.
As I said, DC’s hair is very thick and curly. Once it started growing, I could see we were going to have a problem. It just grew all over the place. I would get it to a point in the morning where it wasn’t sticking out everywhere but he would not leave it alone so that did not last very long – it always looked like a mess.
I had a talk with him and said we really needed to go have it trimmed a bit. I was hoping that they could shape it (especially on the sides) without cutting it too much so it would grow in without looking so unruly. I promised they would not shave his head (or give him a ‘Dad-cut’, which is the way he seemed to understand it). He agreed.
They did a nice job. They shaped it, took a little off the sides so it didn’t stick out. DC was happy because it was still long and curly. Unfortunately, that lasted all of two weeks. It grew so fast and even with all of the shaping they did, it grew back just the same way. I didn’t want to have to take him for a cut every two weeks so we talked about it again. I told him he could keep it long if he really wanted to, but it might be a good idea to get it cut short again. It is going to be summer soon and it would be very hot having all of that hair. He agreed.
I asked him more than once just to be sure he understood what he was agreeing to – and I do think he was getting a little bit tired of me trying desperately to make it look decent every day. He understood.
Yesterday he went back to get a haircut. It was a longer version of the ‘Dad-cut’ but it is still very short. He was happy with the cut and also happy I think, that this time it was his decision.
…And just because those of you that may be close to my age now have that song stuck in your head and those of you who are not…. may just want to take a trip into to the 60’s…… Ladies and Gentlemen… the Cowsills:
(the video quality is terrible, but it is the best I could find)
It always amazes me how powerful giving my son a choice can be. Thanks for the ear worm, too! Lol!
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I’ve had the same ear worm all day! I guess I get stuck in the day to day and at times don’t realize that he should have a choice. He’s a grown man. I really have to make an effort to think about what he wants and give him more of an opportunity to make the decisions that he is capable of making. Thanks for reading.
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